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July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I rarely venture into FY section, being a rather obsessed Naruto fan and disgruntled by the lack of good fics in this section. However, I've always been intrigued by the Tamahome/Tasuki because both of the boys have a very strong bond with each other, and obviously regard each other as best friends.
You did the pairing justice, getting their dynamics well across and keeping the characters more or less in IC (there were some OOC moments, but I won’t be too picky). I think the entire situation was built up very realistically and tastefully, not filled with any dramatic antics or bastardization of the characters. Your smut scenes were very hot and well-written, having the right amount of description to be too vague or too sordid. They were just the right amount of detailed.
Your writing style, on the whole, is good, though the sentence structure is a tad bit repetitive and apart from the smut scenes, you seem to lack detail. You write in a very clear prose, but sometimes I feel you neglect the atmosphere of the place and the other characters (it would have been interesting to read more about Chichiri or Mitsukake's thoughts on the whole issue). Now, I realise that’s a matter of personal preference, but I think that the surroundings of a place, the setting can also help create a certain mood in a piece., render it haunting, comforting or even threatening.
Again, this is only a suggestion which you’re in no way obliged to consider seriously.
However, those things I've mentioned didn’t mar my enjoyment in reading this story because you’ve got nearly flawless grammar and know how to use proper spacing.
You did the pairing justice, getting their dynamics well across and keeping the characters more or less in IC (there were some OOC moments, but I won’t be too picky). I think the entire situation was built up very realistically and tastefully, not filled with any dramatic antics or bastardization of the characters. Your smut scenes were very hot and well-written, having the right amount of description to be too vague or too sordid. They were just the right amount of detailed.
Your writing style, on the whole, is good, though the sentence structure is a tad bit repetitive and apart from the smut scenes, you seem to lack detail. You write in a very clear prose, but sometimes I feel you neglect the atmosphere of the place and the other characters (it would have been interesting to read more about Chichiri or Mitsukake's thoughts on the whole issue). Now, I realise that’s a matter of personal preference, but I think that the surroundings of a place, the setting can also help create a certain mood in a piece., render it haunting, comforting or even threatening.
Again, this is only a suggestion which you’re in no way obliged to consider seriously.
However, those things I've mentioned didn’t mar my enjoyment in reading this story because you’ve got nearly flawless grammar and know how to use proper spacing.
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June 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
verry sweet
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April 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Okay this is the coolest concept I have seen in a long time with this anime! I loved it and I really do hope you write that sequel!
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April 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yeah a sequel...because I really would love to see the look on Miaka's face when Tamahome tells her...snicker.
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March 31, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Love this chapter. I can't wait to see the look on Miaka's face when Tama tells her his with Tasuki now. Very hot chapter!
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March 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
XDD of course chichiri knows... somehow... the blue hair knows all ;) lol. love it btw. Wasn't sure about it when I started but I love it! can't wait for the next chapter! I'll be back ;)
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March 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Another great chapter keep up the good work!
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March 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love this story, it's great. I so rarely see any Tama/Tasuki stories. Keep up the good work. I hope you update soon.
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March 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Lovely begining no da. I adore Tama/Tasuki fics. They are the only actual pairing that Watase Yuu herself promotes na no da. ^-^ She's on record to the fact that, had things stayed as she had intended, Tasuki and Tamahome would have been a pair. Tasuki was created especially for Tamahome, too bad Miaka needed the stability of Tamahome more than Tasuki did no da.
Anyhow, lovely and I can't wait to see more of this fic from you na no da. Excelent job keeping them in character, all I would suggest is making the chapters longer no da. Arigato for writing na no da!
<3 Yahnkehy
Anyhow, lovely and I can't wait to see more of this fic from you na no da. Excelent job keeping them in character, all I would suggest is making the chapters longer no da. Arigato for writing na no da!
<3 Yahnkehy