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May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great story
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April 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
A great ending... Thank you for sharing it with us.
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March 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm looking forward to the last chapter. This is a very nice story.
There were som spelling and grammar errors as you said yourself but nothing that affected the story in a bad way.
English is not my first language either and I know how hard it can be to get a betareader.
Keep up the good work!
There were som spelling and grammar errors as you said yourself but nothing that affected the story in a bad way.
English is not my first language either and I know how hard it can be to get a betareader.
Keep up the good work!
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March 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
ah i love this chapter..a nice twist and development
i'm glad there will be more chapters..i think it would be nice as a longer story..
i really love their intereaction here, there is much unspoken depth to it, like shadowed emotions
i like when Raito is both evil and kind or passionate at the same time hehe
and L didnt' get to pee =P
i think your story is great, maybe you should post it on fanfiction.net to get more feedback from there..just a suggestion ^^
i'm glad there will be more chapters..i think it would be nice as a longer story..
i really love their intereaction here, there is much unspoken depth to it, like shadowed emotions
i like when Raito is both evil and kind or passionate at the same time hehe
and L didnt' get to pee =P
i think your story is great, maybe you should post it on fanfiction.net to get more feedback from there..just a suggestion ^^
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March 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
the way you've written it is so interestingly done
i was wondering where L was at the present moment..would not have thought he was remembering those moments after his death
so the last part was quite bittersweet and interesting twist
yeah and i always thought L wouldn't feel that he lost when he died..more like he was glad he was right..well iono lol
well it's all interesting and this is a great fic =P
i was wondering where L was at the present moment..would not have thought he was remembering those moments after his death
so the last part was quite bittersweet and interesting twist
yeah and i always thought L wouldn't feel that he lost when he died..more like he was glad he was right..well iono lol
well it's all interesting and this is a great fic =P
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March 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
yeah there were quite a few grammatical errors...but it's really well written despite that!
good descriptions and argh iono it's jus one of the sexiest things i've ever read x_X
it reminds me of the doujinshi 'taikutsu' where the same thing happened..L brings Raito food and they had sex =p
and L as dominating character is mysteriously scary but so hot!
and Raito is so cute and sexy when he's eating like a puppy ^.^;;;
well all in all i really love this fic! so please continue :D
good descriptions and argh iono it's jus one of the sexiest things i've ever read x_X
it reminds me of the doujinshi 'taikutsu' where the same thing happened..L brings Raito food and they had sex =p
and L as dominating character is mysteriously scary but so hot!
and Raito is so cute and sexy when he's eating like a puppy ^.^;;;
well all in all i really love this fic! so please continue :D
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March 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well, the grammar is a little shaky, but that's something that can easily be fixed, so all and all a good chapter! Please update soon, I'm looking forward to whatever happens next!