rate_review Reviews

Whaaaa Yaone? You are the queen of kliffhangers, you know that? So meeeeeaaaaan! *pouts* Damn it! Why can't Hakkai just go! Damn it damn it damn it! Argh! >.< *huggles Gojyo tightly*

another wonderful chapter... keep up the good work

Great story so far. I'm curious about the woman and who she could be, and what her role in all of this is. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Akuchan

Awww my poor Gojyo :( *huggles Gojyo close and strokes his hair softly* Keep believing you silly kappa, just keep believing...

Awww poor Goyjo... I swear, he's too sweet for his own good... I totally believe he's right (after all, why else would that healer-lady have whiped herself from their mind and all) but he's just so... Sweet. Under all his tough-guy stuff, he's just incredibly sweet. I love how you catch that in this, I know from experience that that's pretty hard.
I really do worry for Hakkai though...

So far I like this story a lot. But there are a few things I like to point out. This is not a
flame, but meant as constructive criticism. I'll tell you what I thought was good, and what
was not so good.

Negative:
The language is sometimes a bit simplistic. Not overwhelmingly so, but it makes the flow of the story
a little off, sometimes.
You use expressions like: "said Gojyo, trying to sound indifferent". It sounds better if you use
only "sounding indifferent" instead.

Positive:
You keep the ikkou well in character, even if you have made Goku a bit more mature than how he is
portrayed in the anime. Personally, I like that.
You told a background story why Gojyo and Hakkai are a couple, that is a big plus.
The plot is good so far, with exciting cliffhangers, making the readers longing for more.
There are enough details to make the story vivid, but not so much as to make the story confusing.

All together this is a good fanfic. I rate it +++++.

Keep up the good work, and post the next chapter as soon as possible.

Another lovely chapter, I'm totally hooked and can't wait to read more

Oh gods, I saw that one coming, but... gods! Please write more soon! Whaaaa...

woo... I love it so far... I can't wait to read more!

Oh man, that's one good start for a story! I'd love to see how this continues! I'd love to read more of this, seriously! Very good!