rate_review Reviews

Well, I shall be frank. Although I am happy to see someone other than myself writing the pairing Mewtwo x Mew, I still believe that it was a bit short and that you did not develop the characters enough. You could have made this first chapter a lot longer by describing the two characters' feelings and maybe having Mew reflect on how she fell in love and all... because, so far, it seems pretty random.

Still, it still could turn out good. I shall be waiting for the next chapters...

NOTE: I would like to help you improve and discuss a little bit, if you don't mind. If you're interested, send me an email. I shall reply as soon as possible.

Hahaha Something about the whole... Crunch *destroys some pokemon in a gory way* then floats over to mew and is like hey I love you... KISS. Made me laugh.

I found the whole thing comical. I am sorry if this is not the overall impression you wanted your story to have but it was generally too rushed and just made the whole thing seem slightly humorous.

I would touch up this chapter and/or make a chapter or two of leading up to this moment.

Not," Hey I noticed you looking at me a lot and I just beat the crap outta some rough ass pokemon, I love you ~kiss~."

Like chapter one would be mew hiding in some bushes watching him battle, then maybe hint he sees her.
Blah blah blah
Then when she least expects it have mewtwo confront her

Just some ideas for a better story.

Good luck :)