rate_review Reviews

Continue to update! I want to see the chapters involving Mayumi and Asa!

now that was very well written, please write a follow up to this.

Zomg, I loved the ending! That was awesome. I'm really impressed that you based the events off of the game and not of the anime, as what most people tend to do here. Granted, I can barely read it, I struggle to get through it. xD

I loved how you captivated everything. It was a very nice piece of work, and I would love to see what you would do with Kaede! *drools at the thought of Kaede...* But I find it funny that you won't do a story with Primula. xD

As for errors, there were quite a few grammatical errors and misplaced/rearranged words that made reading rather tedious and even a little confusing at times. You mixed around some of the he's and she's and him's and her's. Granted, it is already hard enough whenever the male protagonist's name is Rin, and the girl's nickname that Lycoris gave Nerine is Rin also. xD

Besides that, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire story and will await your next chapter. ^_^

-Narshe "Dizzy Gear" Delvar-

Nerine isn't my favorite Shuffle girl, but that was hot. I'm looking forward to future chapters, especially Mayumi's, since she doesn't have a route or sex scene in the game. Plus she's really cute, funny and lovable.