schedule
April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That was, almost kinda sad. no connection, no feeling for each other, for what they're doing. Just anger and frustration, the clash of two dominants. But it was still hot and I love the way you use words to describe the scene, I can see the kitchen, broken glass on the floor. Excellent job.
schedule
April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
DUUUUDE! ^_^
i love your writing style here. the short, unorthodox sentence structure really lends itself to the action. but i think it could clear up a little bit at the end for a bigger punch.
i LOVE that scene too. Omi standing there disinterestedly (oh, would i LOVE to see inside his head....sequel/second chapter maybe?), Ken still accusatory & angry, Aya completely....what? over it? what's the word i'm looking for............*shrug* u get it. ^_^
great ficlet.
i love your writing style here. the short, unorthodox sentence structure really lends itself to the action. but i think it could clear up a little bit at the end for a bigger punch.
i LOVE that scene too. Omi standing there disinterestedly (oh, would i LOVE to see inside his head....sequel/second chapter maybe?), Ken still accusatory & angry, Aya completely....what? over it? what's the word i'm looking for............*shrug* u get it. ^_^
great ficlet.