schedule
August 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
one of the reasons i thought hakkai would probably survive is because of his chi abilities.
that also implies the ability to heal himself. And, he should have transformed to his youkai form for better odds of survival.
but this is not my story but yours.
however, you dont say how near or how far they are from their objective
because the trip had just become longer.
i dont know if gojyo would leave, i think he might not - because that would be one way to honor hakkai.
hakkai would have felt he had to be in the journey (even after the fracas with hazel)... so i think he might return. if not, well, it would be a surprise for me.
i understand his leaving now. but to stay away forever? i dont know. i think he will return to sanzo and goku and finish the quest.
i could be wrong, of course... but i hope your plot would convince me.
your story is prettyly told, and it makes for nice imagery, and emotions are believable, although sanzo was easily moved to tears here, but i guess the justification holds.
i look forward to your story's end, and the fate of gojyo.
that also implies the ability to heal himself. And, he should have transformed to his youkai form for better odds of survival.
but this is not my story but yours.
however, you dont say how near or how far they are from their objective
because the trip had just become longer.
i dont know if gojyo would leave, i think he might not - because that would be one way to honor hakkai.
hakkai would have felt he had to be in the journey (even after the fracas with hazel)... so i think he might return. if not, well, it would be a surprise for me.
i understand his leaving now. but to stay away forever? i dont know. i think he will return to sanzo and goku and finish the quest.
i could be wrong, of course... but i hope your plot would convince me.
your story is prettyly told, and it makes for nice imagery, and emotions are believable, although sanzo was easily moved to tears here, but i guess the justification holds.
i look forward to your story's end, and the fate of gojyo.
schedule
May 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That's a good question. "Is it always gonna be like this?"
Keep writing.
Keep writing.
schedule
May 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm really enjoying your fic. Good luck with the next chapter.
schedule
May 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yes, I could see the first chapter was more rushed than the second, and I understand why you chose to make the first chapter at that pace. It was the second chapter I called "borderline" rushed. Anyway, it wasn't too rushed, and this third chapter was even better.
I like how you describe how they react to Hakkai's death. Some people would probably say they are acting OOC, and I guess they do, but who really knows how anyone reacts to a sudden tragedy like that? It's possible they would break character, isn't it? I know a person who worries about everything, and I mean everything, always scared something will happen and whining about how terrible that would be. But that person is also very strong when something happens. Then she takes care of everybody else who is falling apart around her. Oops, I was reviewing here, wasn't I?
So, it's a good story, and I really want to know what will happen. Keep writing. ^_^
I like how you describe how they react to Hakkai's death. Some people would probably say they are acting OOC, and I guess they do, but who really knows how anyone reacts to a sudden tragedy like that? It's possible they would break character, isn't it? I know a person who worries about everything, and I mean everything, always scared something will happen and whining about how terrible that would be. But that person is also very strong when something happens. Then she takes care of everybody else who is falling apart around her. Oops, I was reviewing here, wasn't I?
So, it's a good story, and I really want to know what will happen. Keep writing. ^_^
schedule
May 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Deathfics are so sad that I usually don't read them. I make occasionally exceptions though. The ikkou doesn't function without each other, and that's makes it even more sad. They so need each other.
You write well, so I hope you won't abandon this story. My only real complaint was that it was borderline
rushed. When (I won't say 'if') you continue the story, think about not rushing it. Let the story pace more slowly and then it will be great. ^_^
You write well, so I hope you won't abandon this story. My only real complaint was that it was borderline
rushed. When (I won't say 'if') you continue the story, think about not rushing it. Let the story pace more slowly and then it will be great. ^_^