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for Melancholy of Flowers

by kuramasgurl

schedule June 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
“I was with Hana,” Cye simply said.

“Oh...... OH!” Kento said out load.


(Supposed to say "loud", but I'm overlooking it haha). This is probably the funniest part just because I can TOTALLY see Kento doing this, more than likely with his mouth stuffed full of food or something. Hilarious. I think it was a good chapter. :)
schedule May 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You're awesome, but I do have a suggestion to watch punctuation to help with the dialogue so it doesn't run into each other. But other than that, I think it's going well so far. In America.
schedule May 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Not a bad start. Though, as a suggestion, watch the grammar. You have some of them mixed up.

You've piqued my curiosity though. Do continue.

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