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by Kikuko

schedule July 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*whines* more? this is so cute!
person yaoi_lover
schedule July 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I do not like you......nasty person, leaving me a cliff hanger...*stomps off grumbling*
person Lily
schedule July 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*glomps* OMG I loves you! write more soon please?
person Avocet
schedule June 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It was quite good, you kept them in character pretty well, keep going I would like to see where you go with this story
schedule June 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
not bad for a first start XD I'll be watching for more

your grammer's good, but there are no spaces between paragraphs. it makes it hard to read a fic when it's formated so close. I invite you to take a look at how my own fics are formated to see what I mean by clicking on my user name. It's always in your best intrest to make the story enjoyable for the reader (as opposed to hard to read), that way you encourage them to leave favorable reveiew

kiki
person cocoke5
schedule May 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
very good start and can not wait for the next chapter of the story and see what happen next to them and do the older brother come back. up date soon.

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