rate_review Reviews

Very excellent! Where's part II ?

I love it so far ^_^ Dog face had me going ha ha.

“Kyo, harder HARDER!”

“Damn it, woman! You want me to rip your vagina in half?!”

“Hell yeah!”

“…”

“W-where are you going, Kyo?”

“Man, that slutty spy wasn't even this kinky…”

that part had me saying "what the hell" O.o ha ha. can't wait for more

wicked cool.
I love the thrill of the hunt.

The ending of this chapter was just too cruel! I'm dying to find out what happens next (not that it isn't obvious). This story was well written, except for a few grammatical errors; for example, “The only thing I notice that is lacking is the presence of a decent women (should be woman) to stare at.” There is also the question of perspective in the story; it changes from a third person to Kyo's point of view back to the third person. However, the lime so far was superb, and the overall flow of the story goes well in my opinion (much better than most of the stories out there). Keep on doing what you're doing! Meanwhile, I'll be looking out for the next chapter! ;)

That was really good. Very well written, a rarity sometimes here. But when one is found its a good surprise like this one is so far. :-)

As for other things, some grammar errors from what I can see. Some spelling in some cases. You used one tense when you should have used another, not too bad a mistake, but we're all human and mistakes are inevitable.

Anyway, I can't wait until you update. Chapter two sounds like its going to be good.

child... your story was really choppy and incoherent... and the lemon part wasnt too great either. i know it was your first time writing one.. .but you must try to avoid corny language! i urge you to get a beta....

I've seen most of the anime series clips. I have to say you've done very well with this. Though I couldn't figure how it all ended in the anime. If it was Kyo or the other fellow that servived the dual between the two. ^^ I'm glad to see Kyo and Yuya together here. Keep it up. You can't leave ppl just hanging! XD

Evil person!
How could you end the chapter there, and just leave me hanging?'
Anyway, on to the serious stuff; I liked the chapter a lot, and I would like to see more even though it's not really my pairing, but I think that it would be good for the story if you could get someone to read it through for you, because there's some odd typos here and there. Not anything that ruins the story, but if they weren't there the story would be even better.