rate_review Reviews

What that its? When the next update? What going on?

the story's getting boring with no sex

I think you'll find that the reason you aren't getting reviews is because the story is so short that there's nothing to really review. You say the chapters get longer if people review, but if you can't get us interested in it with some depth and length, we don't know if we want to see more. Chapter two may as well have not existed, for all it did to the story. a long version of the sentence 'Wolfram woke up after sleeping with someone' doesn't do anything for us as readers. If you give us story, then we can review it. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, just be ready to correct them and listen to advice, as that's what reviews are for. they aren't senseless praise, they're advice on how to make the piece stronger. right now all the advice i can offer to make it stronger is to make it long enough that the reader won't be finished and bored after thrity seconds. I read chapters one and two within about three minutes, and that's not enough to get me secure in an atmosphere or pique my curiosity about who the mystery person is or what's going to happen next.

The title sounds cliche and rather boring, too. Perhaps consider a change to something not so common.

I'd say the reason you're not getting any reviews is because the chapters are so short that very little of the story has been built yet, and there's no clue as to who this second person is. It doesn't sound like Yuri since Wolfram's already stated that Yuri ran away at the idea of having sex. It doesn't sound like anyone else in the series either since pretty much everyone else has lost their fathers and their fathers weren't involved in their education. If it's an original character, I don't see Wolfram or this other cheating on their mates since they've both expressed interest in only their mates. If it *is* Yuri and he's going through his first heat which has caused him to change his mind about sex, then you need to give the readers more of a hint as to his identity. My recommendation is to either increase the size of the chapters, or write out the whole story and post it at once so that reviewers have more to give an opinion on.

meeting who - are the other people oc or are they part of a different story. the anticipation i know is he build up but im going crazy here--no names no nothing HELP i need information