schedule
August 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey since you havn't updated the story in a while I decided to drop a review, in hopes it will lead to another chapter.
I found the jumping between characters pretty annoying. I would grow attached to onces story line and be sad when it would suddenly end. I suggest making a whole chapter based on one character at a time. So you write more around the once character without the confusing jumping.
So far the story seems pretty cool, I personally love the pokegirls idea. And wish there were more stories out there about them. There are a few but their authors are long gone and the stories lay unedited.
So please write more I like the story, ignoring the annoying jumping between characters.
Sincerely,
Daemon
I found the jumping between characters pretty annoying. I would grow attached to onces story line and be sad when it would suddenly end. I suggest making a whole chapter based on one character at a time. So you write more around the once character without the confusing jumping.
So far the story seems pretty cool, I personally love the pokegirls idea. And wish there were more stories out there about them. There are a few but their authors are long gone and the stories lay unedited.
So please write more I like the story, ignoring the annoying jumping between characters.
Sincerely,
Daemon
schedule
July 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice story so far. If I was you, I would put a space between paragraphs, and maybe work a little on the format. Other than that, it's off to a good start.