rate_review Reviews

Well... This is really nice. The lemon is quite engaging despite of its shortness. I would suggest for you to make your future sex content more narrative, make the charcters more introspctive and add a bit more detail into their feelings, thoughts, and actions. Add in some humor in the midst of the lime or something. Aside from that, I have but only three other complaints. One, Tenpou fell in love too quickly. I think Tenpou is the kind to be seduced by the brain or have his interest piqued by exquisiteness. An intelligent person or someone who came from the lower worlds- or both, perhaps? He's a very rational person whose head is always in the clouds with thoughts of whatever current he's in the process of reading. I doubt an unintended kiss and some time spent in an office with him will do the trick, and if it did, the time one would have to dedicate to him should be of insanely huge amount since he gets lost in his books easily. Then again, this is fanfiction so who am I to assume, right? Two, Tenpou seemed too lovey-dovey and touchy-feely. I would assume that he would be somewhat clueless and awkward because of his lack of experience in that area, despite his beaty, he was a geek after all.
Thirdly, there is no Souji in heaven's western army, first platoon. There are fourteen of them, but no Souji. This is a bit more understandable, though. The members were all too nice and dignified to have died for Tenpou and Kenren and it would be a disgrace to their memory to sully their honor with an attempted rape and disloyalty. All in all, it's nice. The plot isn't the most original, but the execution of it made up for that. I look forward to reading more as this fandom seem to be overflowing with yaoi but lack original fictional characters. Thank you for creating this fic :)

Love it. Nothing else needs to be said.

Still reading and still loving this story. I really enjoy your OC's. Happy she bit the loser, worried about what Li-Touten is up to. It's never anything good. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy this story and hope my meager offerings at reviews somehow keep nudging you to write more.

I have really enjoyed reading this. Love your OC. I enjoy the whole yaoi thing but it's nice to see some het activity once in a while with the Saiyuki boys. Thanks again for writing this.

Oh, gods, love the beginning. This was so much fun and I like her already.