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for Shinji & Asuka - Mind-Meld

by DKN

person Lunchbox
schedule December 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Really good stuff, keep it up!
schedule December 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
LOL, I just talked to Jintsu on the phone earlier, so I just had to read and review this one.. We bat story ideas around all the time and I did proofread on the story that you’re talking about.

I don’t mean to be overly critical but you should hold your authors notes and comments for the end, putting them in the body of the story (xxx) is distracting and a new line every time a new character opens their mouth. Its mouth not math but I give you a pass on that because that is the same kind of mistake that I always make. Even proofreaders miss that stuff now and then.

All in all, a good story and I’m looking forward to the lemon! Don’t be afraid to toss Rei in to the fun at some point either, I like that sort of thing.

My email gets suppressed for some reason so here it is: dale@kernelkorp.com

Dale (AKA 94saturn)

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