rate_review Reviews

hey greate work it only took you very long but it was worth it good work

All the weird things Kiako did with his arm made me want to play Prototype...

The scene where Flannery reveals her knowledge of Slash and Psymakio's relationship felt rather flat to me. This is because the reader already knows the extent of Flannery and Blaziken's relationship, thus we knew Slash and Psymakio were in no danger. I can see that Flannery is going to be an important character in the story, but before this scene her "inappropriate" relationship with her Pokemon is not overly critical to the plot.

In order to add some drama to this chapter, I propose: Keep Flannery and Blaziken's real relationship a secret from the reader until she reveals it to Slash and Psymakio. There are all kinds of clever ways to hint at it, and of course you should, but by telling us beforehand, the scene where she outs Slash and Psymakio is devoid of any tension, as the reader is already well aware that Slash and Psymakio are in no real danger. By withholding a little bit of information and revealing it at the proper time, you can add that tension in, and make the scene a lot more exciting.

I like where this story is going, but your pacing could use a little speeding up. Though that might have to do with the several month wait in between chapters, lol.

Longest. Week. Ever.

C'mon slaaash ;-;

"Chapter 29 of Sinners, Cataclysm, has been finished and is currently in the editing stages. It should be uploaded in a week or so."
>in a week or so

Lies. Your writing has started to get rather bland toward the last few chapters, and now it's been months since the last update. Running out of gas, Slash?

Look at this pic i found the second i saw it it made me think two of Slash's best allies.

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/File:Wattson_and_Flannery.png

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae

Good lord, I've missed THIS MUCH. Thank God I finally caught up, and Holy shit. The Ancient Kingdom, the Desert, dark-progging powers, Miyako's ghost, corrupted Pokemon, the curse, THE SHADOW. My, how this story has evolved. And it's still fucking awesome. I see your chapters are as long as ever, lol.

None of these new chapters fail to impress me. Hell, this story's gone from a trainer traveling the world and falling in love with his Gardevoir, to giving him Dark powers and a lifespan of less then 6 months, and having the world and reality itself twist under the Darkness of an ancient Monster. Yeah..... I think I need to reread the story a bit to figure out how that exactly happened, lol.

Fantastic work with Sinners so far. And I'll continue to leave my "reviews".

Chapter count: DONE!
There. I'm finally all caught up in Sinners. And it feels so awesome. This latest battery of chapters was fantastic. The shadow is indeed scary, warping and twisting life itself, kinda reminds me of the "world moving on" in The Dark Tower, heh. The interactions with Flannery and her team were very enjoyable, whether friendly or tense.

I can't wait to see what the final parts of this arc will bring... I know it's gonna be good!

Chapter Count: 8

Veeery interesting chapter. So, Team Rocket's found stronger guns AND a Sunderer? Oh dear...
I don't trust that old man... Though the "Sai" thing may just be coincidence.
And as for Miyako, two words: Yandere. Sympathy.

Would you please figure out some way to show slash's telepathy OTHER THAN BOLD? This is a good story, but even all caps would be less annoying than bolding all the text. I don't see why you can't just use italics for both of them, or maybe underline and italicize slash's thoughts. Bold is just really distracting, and kills the suspension of disbelief, reminding the reader that they're reading and not inside the story.