rate_review Reviews

Max---Kiako is just as much of a main character as Slash and Psymakio, and will become more explored as the story goes on. I have not watched Avatar, so I can't be sure of what you're talking about, but I can say that Kiako's fate will not be kind, whether he obtains what he seeks or not. Over the course of the story, he may commit crimes that simply cannot be atoned for, and thus his destiny will be harsh, regardless of any 'moral development' he may have.

Corky---No offense, but either review intelligently or don't review at all. If I was 100% sure that this is a spam review instead of 99.5%, I would have deleted it.

Incidentally, people, you don't have to e-mail me every time someone posts a spam review. I get notifications from AFF every time anyone reviews any of my stories, so I can take care of it whenever I check my inbox. Sinners has been remarkably spam-free since its inception, but since there's a little spattering of pointless reviews tonight (and I'm not referring to Jack Nativity's, I'm referring to other reviewers that blatantly admit that they haven't read the story and don't plan to), I'll clean up the page whenever it gets messy. So please, stop e-mailing me about it (though I do appreciate the sentiment).

Just an honest question, really. Would you listen to what I had to say if I spent the time to carefully read every single word of your story and consider everything in it with an open mind?

Because that right there was my entire point. You wouldn't. You have made that very clear.

Sooo yeah...once again, I am kept away from the wonderful joy of storyreading from outside forces. In this case, a combination of a 4-day vacation with no internets, and Mother Nature cancelling my flight back home with fucking tornadoes, thereby increasing said vacation from four days to six. FUCK THAT. Give me the plane and I'll fly through the goddamn tempest myself...*/rant*

Anyways, once again, Slash has graced us all with another OMFGBBQ megachapter. In agreement with what Imasuky said, this has gotta be one of the most emotional chapters in the story. I almost cried during the point when the two were fighting and later made up. Shit…now in addition to saving the world, they gotta save Slash from that curse on his lifespan. Jesus Christ, this light and dark stuff is getting harder to wrap my head around, too. Slash is gonna have to spent at least 10 minutes before making decisions (and he probably won’t have that time in future incidents).

Im glad that part of the story has now turned back to Kiako. I was wondering what happened to him, last we saw, he was riding an oversized fish though an expanse of salty seawater, and pretty much down for the count. I almost forgot that he had a gun too. Thankfully it’s of no use….for now anyways…

Things have gotten more interesting now that the group has run into Silver. I like how you’ve put your own backstory into his character and built off of what little was already there. And as if the power of pokemon in the story as you put it wasn’t big enough, you just revamped the spectrum again with the listing of classes and Medicham giving poor Gardie an ass-whooping. *sadface* On top of this, Silver and his Medicham know of Slash and Gardie’s bond…I can only imagine what bodes in the future for them…and Flannery and Blaziken.

Oh, and I don’t give a damn what anyone says about the baby…it’s cute. And if anyone doesn’t agree, well, you sir/madam, are entitled to your own opinion. (I’ll schedule a visit for you from my minions later…)

A few other things…
@ Hallation:
1. Yaaaay! Darkness angst and tragedy!! :D http://www.adultfanfiction.net/avatars/tragedymmm.JPG
2. “I was hoping Corphish would evolve in the combat(OMFG SUPERLOBSTER)” Fucking lol.

"Well, let's see. Hi, mom. Yeah, I got beat by Watson, it sucked. I've got a full Pokemon team now. One of my Pokemon is my lover...my mate, in fact, bet you can guess what that involved. At least we did it in a penthouse suite instead of a bathroom stall or something. What else, what else...oh, yeah, I joined Team Aqua...oh, don't cry, mom, I'm planning to turn on them when the moment's right and wipe them out...until then I'll just use them for information and money. I'm also kind of a dad. To a cactus."…"Yeah, you heard me right. You're a grandmother to a cactus."

Fucking lol.

Incidentally (a word Slash seems to be using a lot :P), I had these two songs going through my head in mixed up/repeated parts during the story (mostly the piano parts). Might have been because I was listening to them on the plane earlier today, or because of the slighty-darkish theme and/or pace that went with the story…I dunno. If anyone else wants to have a listen, I have a couple links here. You’ll need a fileplanet account to listen though (YouTube failed me. *sadface*).
(http://www.fileplanet.com/dl.aspx?/hst/f/a/falconze/pdzero/music/pdz01_datacoredemolition.mp3)
(http://www.fileplanet.com/hosteddl.aspx?%2fhst%2ff%2fa%2ffalconze%2fpdzero%2fmusic%2fpdz02_datacoredemolition2.mp3)

NEED NEXT CHAPTER NOW! IT WILL INVOLVE MIYAKO! */spaz*

(sometimes I cant tell if my reviews are talking to Slash or the rest of the reviewers…this is why I proposed a forum. I’m still willing to host it if there are enough ppl.) */adhd*

To RoboRed AFF has it set up so you can start a forum right here on the site the link is right below the review this story i've thought about doing it but i'm not good with that kind of thing but if you start it I'll join in for sure.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae

Yo, I've been following your story for a while, as parts were repeatedly pasted into 4chan threads. I do love the story, and the characters you created for it. I had a question though, Do you have this story planned in your head already, or do you make things up as you go along? It often strikes me as similar to the Star Wars Expanded Universe, in which it seems as though George Lucas had everything planned out from the beginning, with the way it all meshes together seamlessly. Either way, this is top-notch writing. One day you might write for-profit stuff of your own creation, and make assloads of money? I think you could. See ya, and keep up the writing!

*fights his way out, yet is pulled back in*

Lets see. First the problems. ............>.> there were none. I was surpried that Slash's life is now on a 6 month time-limit. But, that's hardly a problem. The story is as excellent as alwasys, grabs my attetion and holds it till the last word of a chapter is read, and sastifies all my cravings. Waiting is not a problem for me and length..i welcome it! Any Harry Potter fan knows to welcome lenghty chapters to an aepic tale! I back your efforts 100% and wait calmly and happily for the next exciting installment!

It's works like these that make me want to get back to work on my own.

I was hoping you'd have a little more patience and self-respect as an artist to actually consider what I was criticizing you on instead of saying "TL;DR" and telling me to leave, Slash, personal troubles or not. I wasn't trying to bring you into a fight at all, but since you're convinced I'm just a troll and have nothing worthy to say, I'm not going to bother trying to make you doubt yourself so you can ultimately improve. Not until you check that pride of yours and start looking into accountancy. This means no more reviewing on my part for now (and there was much rejoicing). I'll be blunt, straightforward, and curt, deal?

1) Take this test for Slash, Psymakio, and Kiako. I tried, and was forgiving mostly because I'm not you and I don't know what you'd answer for a number of personal questions. The results for each were not encouraging.

http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm

2) Read these two pages.

http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2007/09/17/on-editorialization-and-the-lack-thereof/
http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2007/10/08/more-on-that-bad-webcomics-site/

3) If you are a fan of the "Chekhov's Gun" device, at least understand what it entails. Meaning, don't try to beat the point in by bringing it back to the reader over and over. At the very least try to practice your pacing.

4) Your version of morality for the world is interesting, I'll give you that, but it has a number of loopholes and contradictions when you look it closely. Mostly what really makes a decision "light" or "dark" when you try and make it as close as possible to the side you want. That you don't have a gray area between the light and dark is at best a simplistic way of how the Pokemon world works, and at worst cheapening later moral decisions that characters will make. I'm hoping you'll actually bother trying to blur the two later.

5) This chapter was an improvement from before. It still has some problems from before and now some new ones, but since I said I wouldn't be reviewing you, you can make a guess or ask one of your more critical fans to voice them.

6) I still enjoyed your work, just not the way you intended. That doesn't mean that what I had to say didn't have any value, though. If you're going to dismiss my reviews just because they challenge your abilities, you're one damned arrogant artist, if I can even call you that anymore.

you are seriously misguided... :(
:(
So...if you just do a chapter an hour, you can finish in a short while, and the rest of us can reap the reward!
(Please?)

All I can say is, damn this story has gotten so dark it makes me kinda scared to read it at times. You ever thought about writing a novel?

Man... Once again you've written an ABSOULTY WELL THOUGHT OUT CHAPTER!!! I sure as hell can't wait for the next one!!