rate_review Reviews

I sacrifice a chicken for every day this story is not updated to help you.

In two days I run out of chickens, and move on to babies...

I noticed you changed the wording of the preview on your profile.
I wanted to say that changing it definitely makes that clearer.

I had originally thought you meant Psymakio was pregnant, which would've been weird.
Now it's more ambiguous, which makes it an improvement.

If it were something, say, adopting an abandoned baby pokemon or somesuch nonsense I really wouldn't care as much.
If it were mothering Slash's child, I would despise the twist.

But he clearly said "Someone's pregnant" and now "Psymakio is going to have a baby", either both happens, one is a lie, or they're synonymous.

Bob, Lol---Not that I plan to submit anything for publishing or televisionizing, but if I did, I would not allow the content and themes to be edited. That'd be a dealbreaker. They can criticize my use of long, semicolon-heavy sentences, they can point out my typos and grammar mistakes, but the moment they say "Gardevoir cannot get nailed in the ass", I walk out of the office, lol.

Splenge---The fact that the Sunderers were not actually destroyed may come up later in the story, just as Kiako's gun will.

Vyers, Imasuky Lomae, Hsda MK. II, Lejos de casa---Yes indeed, I changed the wording. Tee hee. No one has correctly guessed who's pregnant (and if they did, I'd be shocked), but at least some of you have figured out that I wouldn't knock up Gardie three days after they first fucked, especially with it being clearly labeled impossible for hybrids to occur in the Sinners timeline and there being no means of pregnancy test in the fucking desert, lol. Also, since she will have the baby (not an egg or something, the baby) before they leave the desert, it's pretty clear that she's not actually giving birth. :-P

Iota---You're right in that neither of them will die in the next chapter, but keep in mind that if I DO kill a major character off, I won't be hinting at it beforehand. In fact, I might lie about it beforehand to surprise people...

There will be more allusions to the old era by characters---vague memories, the rest of the Prophesy, etc. A question that hasn't been addressed yet is what, if anything, Kiako's been experiencing.

The depiction of the city and castle was just meant to be an introduction, but shit, I was I could draw. I have such a vivid picture of it in my head and wish my hands could put it on paper/computer, lol.

Anyway, here's some important news. On a whim, I re-wrote most of chapter 5 of Sinners (Arc 1) last night, the intro to Jirachism. Since the real exposure to the religion and the good/bad aspects of it is coming up in the near-ish future, I wanted to make the first appearance of it a lot better than the short and very preachy first attempt. It's still clearly anti-Jirachism, but I've tried to make it clear that the extremely anti-Jirachism sentiments are coming from Slash, not the narrative voice---my original intention (which didn't go so well). I was a little wary about doing this, since I didn't want to pull a Greedo-shooting-first sorta thing, but none of the important details have changed...just the depth of them. Check it out and let me know if it looks okay.

Well, that's a great relief to me, then.
Psymakio has a 'baby', so I'm guessing an adoption of a sort.

As to who will be pregnant... If hybrids are impossible, it's not Flannery. Hm. I'm drawing a complete blank. Ah well, I'm no good at predictions. I'll watch quietly from here in.

no means of pregnancy test in the fucking desert, lol
HERP PSYCHOC POKERMANS DERP
"Hmm, there appears to be a new psychic presence IN MY STOMACH"
:D

I just got done with the chapter 5 re-write and i got to say it was really good i made Slash's hate of them seem even more real and when Kirlia asked if he was gay I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae

(sitting impatiently)

Oh, and uh (cough) good rewrite.

Psymakio is going to have a baby.

And the hand hits the face.

Guh. The entire feel of the story's going to get off the bus now.

I was going to explain more, but I'll abuse my backspace button and leave it at this.

I'm going to keep reading, but if the pattern I foresee enacts, I'm going to grab my Bawls and Run Like Hell.

HA! Psymakio is going to be a mom? Amazing! Don't listen to Hsda MK. II or Vyers, if anything a baby is going to intensify to love between Slash and Psymakio. I can't wait to see a new chapter now! Keep up the good work!