schedule
July 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well well, I finally finished my nearly 20,000 word chapter for my story, and found the time to finally read your new chapter.
As expected, very nicely done.
The sense of desperation in the cave is particularly well done. Although the reader knows that neither Slash nor Psymakio will die at this point in the story, the possibility of the other characters around them (the pokemon) dying holds the sense of urgency.
Interesting sense of foreshadowing during Psymakio's vision, the idea that it mirrors events in the past is a concept I certainly didn't expect. You alluded to the whole, "Events in the Past" kind of idea when Slash was fighting Watson, the brief vision that Slash had about the "Two lovers who were journeying in different directions and knew they'd never see each other again", or something along that line, which was a nice ease into the idea.
I must say, I like the ideas you've had with the Pokemon City, and the wars between Humans/Pokemon. Pokemon were gifted with natural strength, and humans with the ability to create and invent, that felt quite accurate to me. Also, there was a good amount of description for the large structures in the city, yet sometimes I felt confused as to what I was trying to picture.
All in all, everything was quite powerfully done, and I enjoyed every word.
Good luck in your next chapter!
As expected, very nicely done.
The sense of desperation in the cave is particularly well done. Although the reader knows that neither Slash nor Psymakio will die at this point in the story, the possibility of the other characters around them (the pokemon) dying holds the sense of urgency.
Interesting sense of foreshadowing during Psymakio's vision, the idea that it mirrors events in the past is a concept I certainly didn't expect. You alluded to the whole, "Events in the Past" kind of idea when Slash was fighting Watson, the brief vision that Slash had about the "Two lovers who were journeying in different directions and knew they'd never see each other again", or something along that line, which was a nice ease into the idea.
I must say, I like the ideas you've had with the Pokemon City, and the wars between Humans/Pokemon. Pokemon were gifted with natural strength, and humans with the ability to create and invent, that felt quite accurate to me. Also, there was a good amount of description for the large structures in the city, yet sometimes I felt confused as to what I was trying to picture.
All in all, everything was quite powerfully done, and I enjoyed every word.
Good luck in your next chapter!
schedule
July 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Considering that it's already over 100000 words (too lazy to do another word-count series on it, though), I estimate it'll break at least a half million by the end...possibly a full million if I keep writing 20000+ monsters. And that's fucking insane. Seriously.
And yeah, lol, it does suck. Maybe Nintendo will look at the anime, realize how horrid it is, and offer to pay me for Sinners. Might make for a good television run, heh...as long as the sex ain't cut. That would be a requirement. XD /quote
Lol, what channel would it be hosted on? And you better hope 4 Kids doesn't get a hold of it......*shudders at the thought*
And yeah, lol, it does suck. Maybe Nintendo will look at the anime, realize how horrid it is, and offer to pay me for Sinners. Might make for a good television run, heh...as long as the sex ain't cut. That would be a requirement. XD /quote
Lol, what channel would it be hosted on? And you better hope 4 Kids doesn't get a hold of it......*shudders at the thought*
schedule
July 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It's great to see a couple of my predictions came out right, and that totally random guess about Silver being right.
Ancient weaponry, nukes, god-Pokemon, pricks who wake up the ultimate incarnation of evil; I swear this story has it all.
Lastly, I'm not certain it's prudent to link to it; but suffice it to say there's an AnonIB for Gardevoir (and Kirlia, Ralts, and Gallade.)
It's fairly easy to find.
Ancient weaponry, nukes, god-Pokemon, pricks who wake up the ultimate incarnation of evil; I swear this story has it all.
Lastly, I'm not certain it's prudent to link to it; but suffice it to say there's an AnonIB for Gardevoir (and Kirlia, Ralts, and Gallade.)
It's fairly easy to find.
schedule
July 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Fucking fuck you fucking Slash fucking Fire Fucking Storm you fucking jackfucking ass fuckin great author fucking stop withhte fucking teasers.
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
p.s. your not the only one who over uses the word fuck
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
p.s. your not the only one who over uses the word fuck
schedule
July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
What you've created here is not a fanfiction, so much as a small novel. Although, with the increasing size of the story, I guess you can't say that this is small, heh. This is a fantastic tale that gets better with each chapter. The only downside to Sinners is that it can't be printed in book format. :(
schedule
July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hsda MK. II---She can communicate with him verbally if she wishes, or use Slash's mind as a sort of relay (similarly to how he must use her, at least for the time being).
As for Dark types...heh, that's a question I'm not willing to answer just yet. But even if their existence is due in part to the Shadow, corrupted Pokemon are far more vicious than the most vicious natural Dark-type...still, might explain why the Jirachians hold prejudicial views against them. Hatred is passed down the ages far more easily than historical fact.
Ya know, this makes me wish I could draw, so I could give a visual example of a corrupted Pokemon. I've got a really good mental image of a corrupted Arcanine...looking like it's got hyper-rabies or something, heh...
lol, the reason Arceus won't be showing up in Sinners (beyond the occasional vague commentary about destiny and the like) is for the same the Ellimist wasn't used that often in the Animorphs (lol, yes I am the kind of nerd who read Animorphs when I was younger)---if God shows up too often, everything else seems kind of lame in comparison, lol. As for why Arceus doesn't interfere, that hasn't been decided yet. Maybe he's on vacation. Maybe all he can do is watch. Maybe he just doesn't give a fuck. Who knows. Even if I decide on its motivations, I may not mention them in Sinners any more than other authors apologize for the lack of God saving their protagonists, lol.
I do still intend to write a Slash x Kirlia oneshot sometime, but that likely won't be for a while. Still gotta finish cleaning up 23 and make another chapter for Janus, first.
kytic---Glad you like it. Utterly random, but you know, I was reading Misery this weekend...and I was reminded of the protagonist's worst fears---that by becoming a writer, you damn yourself to never being able to enjoy reading, because you constantly try to dissect whatever you come across. Thankfully that's not the case for me (yet, anyway), because I still enjoy the fuck out of those kinds of stories. Maybe it's because I'm the kind of writer who uses his imagination a lot more than outlines or concordances...
Zannthebored---Heh, nah. I don't think a temporary mental spark could get pregnant. Incidentally, Angel will also be showing up in 24, along with the recently-identified Interloper. And there will be...tension.
Lejos de casa---Working on the second half a little bit more every night, heh. Still on track for late-July release.
Regardless of their origin (which, like I said earlier in this response, is not going to be revealed just yet) I view dark types as just as 'natural' as everything else. Perhaps they have to struggle with some of their more violent tendencies (as Slash does), but they are capable of friendship, love, family, just like everything else. The Mightyena that took Psymakio's family didn't do it for sport, but to feed its pups. As Slash is going to have to come to terms with, some darkness is necessary for all life...but for those with more dark in them than light, they just have to control it, not eliminate it.
Espy---Horsey, horsey
The Cakenator---Considering that it's already over 100000 words (too lazy to do another word-count series on it, though), I estimate it'll break at least a half million by the end...possibly a full million if I keep writing 20000+ monsters. And that's fucking insane. Seriously.
And yeah, lol, it does suck. Maybe Nintendo will look at the anime, realize how horrid it is, and offer to pay me for Sinners. Might make for a good television run, heh...as long as the sex ain't cut. That would be a requirement. XD
As for Dark types...heh, that's a question I'm not willing to answer just yet. But even if their existence is due in part to the Shadow, corrupted Pokemon are far more vicious than the most vicious natural Dark-type...still, might explain why the Jirachians hold prejudicial views against them. Hatred is passed down the ages far more easily than historical fact.
Ya know, this makes me wish I could draw, so I could give a visual example of a corrupted Pokemon. I've got a really good mental image of a corrupted Arcanine...looking like it's got hyper-rabies or something, heh...
lol, the reason Arceus won't be showing up in Sinners (beyond the occasional vague commentary about destiny and the like) is for the same the Ellimist wasn't used that often in the Animorphs (lol, yes I am the kind of nerd who read Animorphs when I was younger)---if God shows up too often, everything else seems kind of lame in comparison, lol. As for why Arceus doesn't interfere, that hasn't been decided yet. Maybe he's on vacation. Maybe all he can do is watch. Maybe he just doesn't give a fuck. Who knows. Even if I decide on its motivations, I may not mention them in Sinners any more than other authors apologize for the lack of God saving their protagonists, lol.
I do still intend to write a Slash x Kirlia oneshot sometime, but that likely won't be for a while. Still gotta finish cleaning up 23 and make another chapter for Janus, first.
kytic---Glad you like it. Utterly random, but you know, I was reading Misery this weekend...and I was reminded of the protagonist's worst fears---that by becoming a writer, you damn yourself to never being able to enjoy reading, because you constantly try to dissect whatever you come across. Thankfully that's not the case for me (yet, anyway), because I still enjoy the fuck out of those kinds of stories. Maybe it's because I'm the kind of writer who uses his imagination a lot more than outlines or concordances...
Zannthebored---Heh, nah. I don't think a temporary mental spark could get pregnant. Incidentally, Angel will also be showing up in 24, along with the recently-identified Interloper. And there will be...tension.
Lejos de casa---Working on the second half a little bit more every night, heh. Still on track for late-July release.
Regardless of their origin (which, like I said earlier in this response, is not going to be revealed just yet) I view dark types as just as 'natural' as everything else. Perhaps they have to struggle with some of their more violent tendencies (as Slash does), but they are capable of friendship, love, family, just like everything else. The Mightyena that took Psymakio's family didn't do it for sport, but to feed its pups. As Slash is going to have to come to terms with, some darkness is necessary for all life...but for those with more dark in them than light, they just have to control it, not eliminate it.
Espy---Horsey, horsey
The Cakenator---Considering that it's already over 100000 words (too lazy to do another word-count series on it, though), I estimate it'll break at least a half million by the end...possibly a full million if I keep writing 20000+ monsters. And that's fucking insane. Seriously.
And yeah, lol, it does suck. Maybe Nintendo will look at the anime, realize how horrid it is, and offer to pay me for Sinners. Might make for a good television run, heh...as long as the sex ain't cut. That would be a requirement. XD
schedule
July 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm not entirely sure why, but when I read your hints about who's pregnant I immediately thought of Angel
schedule
July 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow... Very Nice!
Amazing chapter there Slash, can't wait for the second half to come out!
I was wondering though, since dark Pokemon weren't present in the old Hoenn Kingdom, does that mean that they were some kind of by-product from the Shadow's take-over, like some kind of evolutionary trait they developed over time to help them live and cope with the tainted world, or are they natural like all other types?
Just wondering...anyways great work and keep it comin'!
schedule
July 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
@ Hsda MK. II:
lol, guess who my story revolved around?
lol, guess who my story revolved around?
schedule
July 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hsda MK. II---Yes, yes it is. By the time it's done, it'll probably dwarf Arc 1's 20000+ hits...
The exposure of the Kingdom's backstory was necessary for several reasons. Firstly, not everyone is on the mailing list, and thus this is really their first exposure to the Prince and Princess (speaking of, I gotta make some more plotmails). Secondly, many of the events in the backstory will be more than just "interesting to know"...they will play critical roles in the future, particularly with the Great Ones...and perhaps a bit of that ancient technology (if they could dig up a gun...).
So yeah, the identities should be pretty clear by now. The King, indeed, is Regigigas, and while I've heard he sucks in D/P due to his ability, this is my fuckin' story and I can make him as bad-ass as I want, heh. I considered showing him in the vision, but...nah. Not yet. The Princes are the other three Regis, and they will make an appearance as the story goes on, of course.
I don't give a damn about Jirachi or its limits in canon, heh, because like Regigigas, he's mine now, lol. In any case, the Great Ones aren't gods themselves, but they are very powerful and can greatly influence the world. Together they can commune with the higher orders of the universe and see far...but they cannot see everything. There are a few Greater Ones, beings who are either so powerful, or have abilities so incredible, that even the Great Ones pale in comparison. As for Arceus...well, I doubt that he'll swing by and say hi to Slash and Psymakio, lol.
Zannthebored---You're referring to the "Jack of Diamonds and the Ace of Spades", I'm assuming. I'll say this about them:
1. I already know who they are.
2. They're not OC, although I'll be doing what I did to Watson and give them my own take on their personalities.
3. Both titles hint at their identities...particularly the Ace of Spades.
While that idea about sending in characters sounds pretty neat, I'm not the kind of author who takes requests---I have a hard enough time writing stories/characters that come from my own head, let alone those from someone else's, lol.
Sinners Fan---Glad you like it, and I'll do my best to speed up the updates. Maybe I will shorten some of the later chapters...I'm guessing (totally guessing, don't quote me on this) that 24 won't be nearly as long as the recent 20000+ monsters, at least.
RoboRed---Chapter 24's theme will be the Interloper, and the first real confrontation with her since her appearance. A lot has been said about her...worries voiced, dangers mentioned, identities revealed...but in 24 it will be time to throw it open, heh.
As for the Kingdom...why, yes. Now that Psymakio's gotten a tour, Slash needs to get one as well. Concern, though...if Quiero was Psymakio's guide to the world, who do you think Slash's will be? Oh shi---
And yes, creative license is swell. I don't like just retelling a game or movie storyline...I like taking a pre-existing world and giving it so much of my own ideas that it's something new entirely. I mean, if I didn't take creative license, Slash would get impaled if he ever got on top of Gardie, Regigigas would be a lame-ass bitch, and Watson would be reduced to SO NEW MAUVILLE'S POWER GENERATOR IS FUCKING UP, LOL, GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE. Plus Flannery wouldn't be getting felt up by Blaziken. :-(
I like long movies. Titanic, fucking awesome, 3 hours 14 minutes of perfection.
In Fallarbor, Slash and Psymakio will be getting their true quest revealed to them---saving Rayquaza is only a means of slowing the inevitable doom of Hoenn, not preventing it. If something is not done to destroy the source of the disruptions, the potential eruption of Chimney may seem like a very small deal.
lol, ya know, I was actually planning on having the vision different, where Psymakio was nothing more than a passenger until the end of the "tour", and the tour went on until Miyako and Quiero were together in her room, and they...had some fun. But after consideration, it seemed kinda creepy for Psymakio to have to be having passenger-sex. XD
I miss shiny encounters...over the years I've seen/caught my share of them, and every time that one appears, I just go nuts, heh.
dave---Slash's team make-up was intentionally given a Dark-type for just that reason, and yeah, it'll be interesting (particularly as Jirachism is explored in later chapters). Also fun to write will be Psymakio's reaction to having a Dark-type packmate...
Zannthebored---I deleted my never-finished Zelda fics some time ago. When I looked back at them and compared their quality to Sinners, I was not pleased with them. I'm not sure if I'll ever give Stand By Me another go (Link x Ashei)...but Ballad of the Wind Fish, my first story on AFF, was originally planned to be as long and epic as Sinners, and I might start that one over again when Sinners is finished (or at least smooth enough for me to be able to multi-task a few major projects).
I do have an experimental writing piece, "Rain", which I've been tinkering with for a while. It's a post-Wind Waker, semi-AU ten-chapter story involving a modern, dystopian Hyrule where it always rains and Ganondorf has consolidated his rule over the world. Very dark, very gritty. Not sure if I'll upload any of it to AFF, but...I probably will. Ten chapters of decent length wouldn't be nearly as time-consuming or difficult as Sinners has been, heh.
Perfect Purity---I'm glad that you think so highly of it, although sometimes I feel the same kind of overwhelmed humbleness when I read the works of other authors (such as Raythe, author of Forbidden).
Despite what I said some time ago, spoilers don't really come up on the review page...unless someone chooses to read the review page before finishing the story up to the most recent chapter, in which case they should be expecting certain details to be discussed. The pregnancy thing in my profile was more of a joke than a real spoiler---someone IS pregnant, but it's someone very unexpected. In fact, if anyone really guessed who it is before I upload 23, I will eat my hat. It was vaguely, vaguely hinted at in 22 (although Quiero wasn't the one hinting at it, it was the narrative), but I very highly doubt anyone will be able to guess.
HINT: It's tied in to the price Psymakio had to agree to before receiving the vision.
HINT 2: I'm going to be laughing when it's finally revealed, because the revelation (although not the event itself) will be pretty anticlimactic. XD
Hopefully you'll check this page again anyway and see that nothing will really be spoiled back here, heh.
The old Kingdom was one of my oldest ideas for Sinners, and it'll be revisited (in narrative and 'visiting') throughout the story. There's still much to tell about it, as Quiero's account was limited to certain topics.
And heh, while I am pretty modest with my writing, I do think that I would totally be in the right if I went to Pokemon headquarters and seized the golden Pikachu or whatever it is that gives one the right to Pokemon's copyright, lol.
The exposure of the Kingdom's backstory was necessary for several reasons. Firstly, not everyone is on the mailing list, and thus this is really their first exposure to the Prince and Princess (speaking of, I gotta make some more plotmails). Secondly, many of the events in the backstory will be more than just "interesting to know"...they will play critical roles in the future, particularly with the Great Ones...and perhaps a bit of that ancient technology (if they could dig up a gun...).
So yeah, the identities should be pretty clear by now. The King, indeed, is Regigigas, and while I've heard he sucks in D/P due to his ability, this is my fuckin' story and I can make him as bad-ass as I want, heh. I considered showing him in the vision, but...nah. Not yet. The Princes are the other three Regis, and they will make an appearance as the story goes on, of course.
I don't give a damn about Jirachi or its limits in canon, heh, because like Regigigas, he's mine now, lol. In any case, the Great Ones aren't gods themselves, but they are very powerful and can greatly influence the world. Together they can commune with the higher orders of the universe and see far...but they cannot see everything. There are a few Greater Ones, beings who are either so powerful, or have abilities so incredible, that even the Great Ones pale in comparison. As for Arceus...well, I doubt that he'll swing by and say hi to Slash and Psymakio, lol.
Zannthebored---You're referring to the "Jack of Diamonds and the Ace of Spades", I'm assuming. I'll say this about them:
1. I already know who they are.
2. They're not OC, although I'll be doing what I did to Watson and give them my own take on their personalities.
3. Both titles hint at their identities...particularly the Ace of Spades.
While that idea about sending in characters sounds pretty neat, I'm not the kind of author who takes requests---I have a hard enough time writing stories/characters that come from my own head, let alone those from someone else's, lol.
Sinners Fan---Glad you like it, and I'll do my best to speed up the updates. Maybe I will shorten some of the later chapters...I'm guessing (totally guessing, don't quote me on this) that 24 won't be nearly as long as the recent 20000+ monsters, at least.
RoboRed---Chapter 24's theme will be the Interloper, and the first real confrontation with her since her appearance. A lot has been said about her...worries voiced, dangers mentioned, identities revealed...but in 24 it will be time to throw it open, heh.
As for the Kingdom...why, yes. Now that Psymakio's gotten a tour, Slash needs to get one as well. Concern, though...if Quiero was Psymakio's guide to the world, who do you think Slash's will be? Oh shi---
And yes, creative license is swell. I don't like just retelling a game or movie storyline...I like taking a pre-existing world and giving it so much of my own ideas that it's something new entirely. I mean, if I didn't take creative license, Slash would get impaled if he ever got on top of Gardie, Regigigas would be a lame-ass bitch, and Watson would be reduced to SO NEW MAUVILLE'S POWER GENERATOR IS FUCKING UP, LOL, GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE. Plus Flannery wouldn't be getting felt up by Blaziken. :-(
I like long movies. Titanic, fucking awesome, 3 hours 14 minutes of perfection.
In Fallarbor, Slash and Psymakio will be getting their true quest revealed to them---saving Rayquaza is only a means of slowing the inevitable doom of Hoenn, not preventing it. If something is not done to destroy the source of the disruptions, the potential eruption of Chimney may seem like a very small deal.
lol, ya know, I was actually planning on having the vision different, where Psymakio was nothing more than a passenger until the end of the "tour", and the tour went on until Miyako and Quiero were together in her room, and they...had some fun. But after consideration, it seemed kinda creepy for Psymakio to have to be having passenger-sex. XD
I miss shiny encounters...over the years I've seen/caught my share of them, and every time that one appears, I just go nuts, heh.
dave---Slash's team make-up was intentionally given a Dark-type for just that reason, and yeah, it'll be interesting (particularly as Jirachism is explored in later chapters). Also fun to write will be Psymakio's reaction to having a Dark-type packmate...
Zannthebored---I deleted my never-finished Zelda fics some time ago. When I looked back at them and compared their quality to Sinners, I was not pleased with them. I'm not sure if I'll ever give Stand By Me another go (Link x Ashei)...but Ballad of the Wind Fish, my first story on AFF, was originally planned to be as long and epic as Sinners, and I might start that one over again when Sinners is finished (or at least smooth enough for me to be able to multi-task a few major projects).
I do have an experimental writing piece, "Rain", which I've been tinkering with for a while. It's a post-Wind Waker, semi-AU ten-chapter story involving a modern, dystopian Hyrule where it always rains and Ganondorf has consolidated his rule over the world. Very dark, very gritty. Not sure if I'll upload any of it to AFF, but...I probably will. Ten chapters of decent length wouldn't be nearly as time-consuming or difficult as Sinners has been, heh.
Perfect Purity---I'm glad that you think so highly of it, although sometimes I feel the same kind of overwhelmed humbleness when I read the works of other authors (such as Raythe, author of Forbidden).
Despite what I said some time ago, spoilers don't really come up on the review page...unless someone chooses to read the review page before finishing the story up to the most recent chapter, in which case they should be expecting certain details to be discussed. The pregnancy thing in my profile was more of a joke than a real spoiler---someone IS pregnant, but it's someone very unexpected. In fact, if anyone really guessed who it is before I upload 23, I will eat my hat. It was vaguely, vaguely hinted at in 22 (although Quiero wasn't the one hinting at it, it was the narrative), but I very highly doubt anyone will be able to guess.
HINT: It's tied in to the price Psymakio had to agree to before receiving the vision.
HINT 2: I'm going to be laughing when it's finally revealed, because the revelation (although not the event itself) will be pretty anticlimactic. XD
Hopefully you'll check this page again anyway and see that nothing will really be spoiled back here, heh.
The old Kingdom was one of my oldest ideas for Sinners, and it'll be revisited (in narrative and 'visiting') throughout the story. There's still much to tell about it, as Quiero's account was limited to certain topics.
And heh, while I am pretty modest with my writing, I do think that I would totally be in the right if I went to Pokemon headquarters and seized the golden Pikachu or whatever it is that gives one the right to Pokemon's copyright, lol.