schedule
July 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi there! Long time reader, first time reviewer.
I've been a fan of your story since day one. As a frequent browser of the Pokemon section of these forums, I found it very refreshing to find a story that wasn't either poorly written, had nothing that resembled a plot, or both.
It's hard for me to put into words the level of awesomeness that is Sinners. To say it is extraordinary would be an understatement. It is, no doubt, the greatest Pokemon story I've ever read (not that you haven't heard that before, I'm sure), and the most well-written Pokemon piece on AFF. Constantly while I am reading, I feel put to shame as an author because of how brilliantly you've written this tale. My own story pales in comparison in terms of... well, everything.
You said that spoilers may or may not be posted by you on the reviews page, and I really want to avoid that like the plague. The bit of information you posted in your profile is one such piece, although due to the speech Quiero made involving Kiako I suppose I could chalk that one up to "I should have seen it coming," assuming "she" refers to Psymakio. ;o Of course you could totally be throwing us for a loop, and that would be really cool, but... I can't think of any female character who's had sex other than Psymakio... which is a really cool name, by the way.
I also wanted to congratulate you on creating such a wonderful history of Hoenn. It's obvious you spent a lot of time fine-tuning every last detail about each Kingdom, the legends and stories surrounding them... everything is just too great for words.
In an attempt to avoid reading any speculation or confirmation of any rumors about future events, I won't be visiting the review page to read your reply, should you write one. Please know that you've made a fan out of me and if you ever get some time, check out my fic.
*sigh* Why can't the official Pokemon series be half as good as this?
I've been a fan of your story since day one. As a frequent browser of the Pokemon section of these forums, I found it very refreshing to find a story that wasn't either poorly written, had nothing that resembled a plot, or both.
It's hard for me to put into words the level of awesomeness that is Sinners. To say it is extraordinary would be an understatement. It is, no doubt, the greatest Pokemon story I've ever read (not that you haven't heard that before, I'm sure), and the most well-written Pokemon piece on AFF. Constantly while I am reading, I feel put to shame as an author because of how brilliantly you've written this tale. My own story pales in comparison in terms of... well, everything.
You said that spoilers may or may not be posted by you on the reviews page, and I really want to avoid that like the plague. The bit of information you posted in your profile is one such piece, although due to the speech Quiero made involving Kiako I suppose I could chalk that one up to "I should have seen it coming," assuming "she" refers to Psymakio. ;o Of course you could totally be throwing us for a loop, and that would be really cool, but... I can't think of any female character who's had sex other than Psymakio... which is a really cool name, by the way.
I also wanted to congratulate you on creating such a wonderful history of Hoenn. It's obvious you spent a lot of time fine-tuning every last detail about each Kingdom, the legends and stories surrounding them... everything is just too great for words.
In an attempt to avoid reading any speculation or confirmation of any rumors about future events, I won't be visiting the review page to read your reply, should you write one. Please know that you've made a fan out of me and if you ever get some time, check out my fic.
*sigh* Why can't the official Pokemon series be half as good as this?
schedule
July 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I highly doubt Psymakio is pregnant.
For one; all pokemon lay eggs, no matter how inappropriate it is.
For two; it'd have to be with Slash, and no matter how connected their minds and hearts are, their bodies are insurmountably different.
For three; it would get a bit absurd in the story to have a little Ralts jump in so late.
Points one and two can be obliterated with the AUTHOR'S WRIT OF POWER artifact that Slash is equipped with.
Flannery's busy with her Blaziken, so it's probably not her... Angel's a mental figure, but she could get 'pregnant' in Slash's mind, I guess. No other female figures come to mind.
For one; all pokemon lay eggs, no matter how inappropriate it is.
For two; it'd have to be with Slash, and no matter how connected their minds and hearts are, their bodies are insurmountably different.
For three; it would get a bit absurd in the story to have a little Ralts jump in so late.
Points one and two can be obliterated with the AUTHOR'S WRIT OF POWER artifact that Slash is equipped with.
Flannery's busy with her Blaziken, so it's probably not her... Angel's a mental figure, but she could get 'pregnant' in Slash's mind, I guess. No other female figures come to mind.
schedule
July 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Time for a shitload of review responses! Might have to keep some of them short, though...
Splenge---"Tee hee" on Silver. "No comment" on Regirock, although I don't think I NEED to comment, as it's pretty obvious. The question is, what the fuck is going on with it? As for TM's, I ain't sure yet, as both TM uses have been "off-camera", but it involves putting the disk in a Pokenav and somehow transmitting the ability to the Pokemon. Maybe I'll work in a scene where it's actually done, so I can make some Sinners-canon. Gardie will be using Thunderbolt, but obviously not when her purdy lil self is unconscious, lol.
RoboRed---Lance is indeed awesome, although there are no current plans for him to show up in Sinners. Gardie obviously won't die...soon, anyway...but yes, if she did, Slash would likely either kill himself or fucking lose it. Hm, I wonder how y'all would react if I told you that at least one major character WILL die, and not at the end of the story, either. :-O
Imasuky Lomae---Meh, I don't care too much. Gardie evolved underlevel (although there IS a reason for that) and Pokemon in Sinners can learn "believable" moves---such as Rotom's Shadow Claw and Gardie's Psywave. Incidentally, I love Bulbapedia. I still use Serebii for most of my moveset data, but Bulbapedia's swell for gigantic base stat comparisons and the like. Plus I learned how to clone Pokemon in Emerald on it. :-D
HsdaMKII---The reincarnation idea will be heavily expanded upon (although not fully detailed) in the next chapter. WHICH MAY BE SOON, OH HO HO. As for the voice, read above. Regigigas though, hm, he IS pretty cool. I WONDER IF HE IS IN SINNERS, TEE HEE, MAYBE CHAPTER 22 WILL SHED A LITTLE LIGHT ON THAT. :-D
SAME WITH JIRACHI, MAYBE HE'LL BE TALKED ABOUT SOON TOO :-D
And yes, I do use fourth gen Pokemon, but rarely, as I don't own D/P.
Dante Inferna---Glad you like it. Slash loses his temper a bit in chapter 23, and again a few chapters later. The first instance isn't that bad, but the second...well, wait and see.
Ek---Long ass review + hurry = brief replies, so here we go:
1. Wait until Giovanni becomes a real character in the story. I don't mean guy-on-sidelines, but when he gets actively involved later. He's very...well, bad-ass.
2. With all the time alignments, it'll be mostly case-by-case. Generally, sheer power will play more of a role in Sinners (Corphish getting his ass whipped by Camerupt despite the enormous advantage, Graveler being able to hold his own against Cacturne despite his huge weakness)...Pokemon will be as powerful or weak as the plot needs them to be, and I'll do my best not to stretch credibility.
3. Yes, some of them motherfuckers are magic. Like with the types, it'll depend on the move. I don't have a giant list of moves and how they're done...I just come up with rules for the moves that actually take place. One thing I'm thinking of changing is the chapter with Team Aqua, where one of them has a Carvanha and it's "floating" in the air. I only wrote that because I had been playing waaaay too much Mystery Dungeon, lols. Maybe I'll make it some other nasty Pokemon, or have the tanks partially flood the lobby or something...bah
CHAPTER 21 STUFF
I was actually quite happy with how 21 turned out, especially since I finally got to have Slash talking about some of his views and doubts on trainership (although, like the Jirachism intro, it may have come across as a little preachy and may be edited a little later). Flannery was one of my favorite additions, since I hadn't planned to make her a Pokephile until I actual began writing. Her relationship with Blaziken will become more detailed in later chapters, where she and Slash meet up (and perhaps exchange notes on the whole mated-with-Pokemon-thing).
Poison---I purposely made it very, very dangerous, especially for a physically fragile Pokemon like Gardevoir. I had to balance the games with common sense and my previous use of Pokeballs, and came up with this---standard Pokeballs suspend consciousness (although this can be overridden, ie, in Gym Battles), but not the body; Pokemon age in their Pokeballs, and any injuries can get worse (although, since the Pokemon is held stationary, bone damage and superficial injuries tend not to get any worse...mostly this would apply to blood-based disorders, like poison). Some Pokeballs can slightly slow the effects, particularly more advanced versions, but not negate them (and Slash doesn't have those balls anyway). Kind of a cop-out? Yeah, but necessary for one reason---if Slash can just Pokeball a severely injured Pokemon, how the fuck am I supposed to build tension? I mean, think about how lame it would be if Slash just went "oh, Gardie, you've been poisoned. Guess you'll be in the ball until we get to Fallarbor".
That's also the reason I didn't give Slash a flying Pokemon, so he would have to haul his sorry ass around and not be able to run away as easily. XD
PLOT---Small entrance, hungry Cacturne (as is expanded upon in the next couple chapters). They weren't slapping each other's noses and pulling a Three Stooges on them...and for the record, medicines are stored in wooden boxes. I was thinking sort of humidor-like containers, hence me mentioning the box breaking and not just the glass shattering. Likewise, it was a Cacturne whacking it, not a vial being dropped---these Pokemon are capable of matching Graveler in physical combat, so even tough containers are going to break.
As for why only the antidotes broke...there is a reason for that, believe it or not, and it'll be expanded on in 22. Let's just say that the feeling that they had in 21, that there was something wanting them to slip up and make a dumb mistake...it wasn't just their imagination.
I'm still proud of 21, and I like the way 22 came out...er, is coming out (lolspoiler, it's done and I'm submitting it as soon as I finish review responding). I guess I can't please everyone everytime.
Cerebrate Fate---zomg
shad---Glad you like it.
shadow storm657---Honestly? I have narrowed Sinners down to a handful of possible endings, ranging from utterly tragic to happy and everyone-lives-y. The one I'm currently leaning towards is a mixed ending. It's very unlikely that everyone will survive to the end...including Slash's Pack, I'm sorry to say. Life just doesn't turn out that good often.
And heh, glad that you think so.
chaoslord---Ya know, since I'm doing what I'm doing with 22, I'll go ahead and say it now: yes, it's Silver. Keep in mind, though, that Sinners takes place about twenty years after Mewtwo's creation, which means Silver is an adult now. He won't get a real appearance until 23, but I'm looking forward to it.
lol, Slash and Flannery's packs won't get into orgies (outside of oneshots, anyway), but there might be some naughtiness. More along the lines of watching each other go at it, though, not swapping.
And fuck yes on comics, especially the sex. :-D
Imasuky Lomae---Ash is in prison. lulz
RoboRed---They replaced Misty because they fail at writing romantic tension. What assholes.
Cerebrate Fate, RoboRed---I am so fucking terrible, lol. I've had some people make me Sinners art (such as my profile avatar, squee), and that alone is fucking awesome. Now, if someone made me something of Gardie getting nailed in the ass...oh ho ho. Aerisdies doesn't cut it sometimes, because not every Gardevoir looks like Psymakio. Bleh.
Iota---I wish my disclaimer could be "I have annexed the rights to the Pokemon franchise, on the grounds that they have no fucking clue what they're doing with the anime, and have seized all rights to this story. Money plz".
Read your stuff, love it. Good to have more high-quality fics around here. Can't never have enough well-written fanfiction on AFF...hell, that's why I started writing.
Josh---Glad you like it. Flannery and Slash are going to end up working together to...well, resist the force causing trouble in Fallarbor. NOT SAYING WHAT THAT IS THOUGH, TEE HEE
SaigoKarasu---They're a shitload better than anything I could do, lol. First one is pretty hot, actually...XD
Cerebrate Fate---You mean chapter 17, right? lol, multi-arc. Yeah, I wanted to put the anal scene in 16, but there was so much sex there that it would have been crowded. XD
Noteven---Compared to the lengths of some of the earlier chapters, these 20000+ monsters are fucking crazy...I shouldn't make them, I know, I should make shorter, more frequent updates...but I just like writing huge-ass chapters that take a while to read.
Glad that you like what I've written so far, and believe me when I say that your look at the world of Sinners has only just begun. Compared to the main storyline of Sinners, we're still in the fucking prologue. XD
Iota---Hm, I always thought that Gardevoir was a play on Garde, to watch out for, and voir, to see...something like "to protect what she sees". Huh.
sbn732---Speaking of Romeo and Juliet, Slash and Psymakio are going to meet Slash's parents in a later chapter (like, post-Fallarbor, which is at least half a dozen chapters). I hope they don't get found out...
Glad that you like it, and yeah, tell your friends. Can't never have enough fans, heh.
Pokeprof---I know, I need to update more. And yes, I could have gotten into some Blaziken/Flannery hawtness, but...maybe later, heh. It would have broken up the flow of 21 if I had. Problem I haven't solved yet---how do they kiss? Blaziken sort of has a beak. Oh well, I'm sure they'll manage. :-D
Glad that you enjoy it, and I'll keep on pumping out Pokemon fics until...well, for a long fucking time, heh.
Espy---Glad you like it. :-D
MOAR---OKAY
RoboRed---YES
Max---Bet you've read it three times because I'm such a slow-updating fuck, lol. New chapter imminent, but LOL, the cliffhanger is...well...you'll see.
I'm a bad man.
Dargvaughn The Dark God Of Tentacle Rape--- 'kay.
Lejos de casa---Glad you like it, and I love reviews (even if I'm not as punctual with responding as I used to be, lol). More work incoming!
Vaez_the_wandering_assassin---Arcanine will eventually be Slash and Psymakio's means of transport. While flying Pokemon would make travel TOO easy, a runner like Arcanine will make it faster, but...still good for plot. Plus it's such a noble Pokemon, very good for them.
RoboRed---Yes, and Thor hurts.
Adam Bowman---I am very glad that you think so highly of it. I know that it's easy to shrug off this and other serious fanfics..."it's just a fanfiction", "it's just Pokemon, how serious can it be", etc...but yes, this story means a lot to me. While I am borrowing the world of another, the characters and plot are born from my heart, and I am very proud of this work. The fact that it's about Pokemon does not negate the seriousness of the conflict and morals of the story.
And lol, originally, it was mostly "Gardevoir's hot". But things have changed since then (although Gardie's hotness ain't one of them, heh).
Kitsune_Writer---Glad that you like it, and I'm honored to inspire more people to pick up their pens...keyboards, whatever...and write. Hooray for inspiration! :-D
ANGRY READER---lol
RoboRed---Referring to my profile (and now my livejournal and NG, which also mention it), heh. AND YEAH I KNOW
Vyers---You'll be thinking about it even more, since I cut the desert chapter in half and the pregnancy is in the second half. XD SORRY LOL
Anon---SLASH hung on with FOCUS BAND! Slash used COUNTER WITH NEW CHAPTER!
Imasuky Lomae---Heh.
Cerebrate Fate---Reason number 2353452345 that I should have the right to annex the copyright for Pokemon: Gardevoir can get it on with Weezing. WHAT THE FUCK MAN
Anon---If there was a hybrid in Sinners, it would follow the rules of basic Pokemon breeding---species of the mother, traits of the father. The application of father traits would be case-by-case.
And lol, yes, I ARTISTIC LICENSE the first point. Gardie, and many Pokemon, are livebearers. I can't imagine Gardie laying eggs, ya know?
LOL, actually, twisted fact: as a joke, I was planning to make a oneshot mentioning her laying a couple eggs a day, like a chicken, and the pack cooks them up for breakfast. XD XD XD
Of course, that never developed. :-P
Okay, time for chapter 22! Deploying...
Splenge---"Tee hee" on Silver. "No comment" on Regirock, although I don't think I NEED to comment, as it's pretty obvious. The question is, what the fuck is going on with it? As for TM's, I ain't sure yet, as both TM uses have been "off-camera", but it involves putting the disk in a Pokenav and somehow transmitting the ability to the Pokemon. Maybe I'll work in a scene where it's actually done, so I can make some Sinners-canon. Gardie will be using Thunderbolt, but obviously not when her purdy lil self is unconscious, lol.
RoboRed---Lance is indeed awesome, although there are no current plans for him to show up in Sinners. Gardie obviously won't die...soon, anyway...but yes, if she did, Slash would likely either kill himself or fucking lose it. Hm, I wonder how y'all would react if I told you that at least one major character WILL die, and not at the end of the story, either. :-O
Imasuky Lomae---Meh, I don't care too much. Gardie evolved underlevel (although there IS a reason for that) and Pokemon in Sinners can learn "believable" moves---such as Rotom's Shadow Claw and Gardie's Psywave. Incidentally, I love Bulbapedia. I still use Serebii for most of my moveset data, but Bulbapedia's swell for gigantic base stat comparisons and the like. Plus I learned how to clone Pokemon in Emerald on it. :-D
HsdaMKII---The reincarnation idea will be heavily expanded upon (although not fully detailed) in the next chapter. WHICH MAY BE SOON, OH HO HO. As for the voice, read above. Regigigas though, hm, he IS pretty cool. I WONDER IF HE IS IN SINNERS, TEE HEE, MAYBE CHAPTER 22 WILL SHED A LITTLE LIGHT ON THAT. :-D
SAME WITH JIRACHI, MAYBE HE'LL BE TALKED ABOUT SOON TOO :-D
And yes, I do use fourth gen Pokemon, but rarely, as I don't own D/P.
Dante Inferna---Glad you like it. Slash loses his temper a bit in chapter 23, and again a few chapters later. The first instance isn't that bad, but the second...well, wait and see.
Ek---Long ass review + hurry = brief replies, so here we go:
1. Wait until Giovanni becomes a real character in the story. I don't mean guy-on-sidelines, but when he gets actively involved later. He's very...well, bad-ass.
2. With all the time alignments, it'll be mostly case-by-case. Generally, sheer power will play more of a role in Sinners (Corphish getting his ass whipped by Camerupt despite the enormous advantage, Graveler being able to hold his own against Cacturne despite his huge weakness)...Pokemon will be as powerful or weak as the plot needs them to be, and I'll do my best not to stretch credibility.
3. Yes, some of them motherfuckers are magic. Like with the types, it'll depend on the move. I don't have a giant list of moves and how they're done...I just come up with rules for the moves that actually take place. One thing I'm thinking of changing is the chapter with Team Aqua, where one of them has a Carvanha and it's "floating" in the air. I only wrote that because I had been playing waaaay too much Mystery Dungeon, lols. Maybe I'll make it some other nasty Pokemon, or have the tanks partially flood the lobby or something...bah
CHAPTER 21 STUFF
I was actually quite happy with how 21 turned out, especially since I finally got to have Slash talking about some of his views and doubts on trainership (although, like the Jirachism intro, it may have come across as a little preachy and may be edited a little later). Flannery was one of my favorite additions, since I hadn't planned to make her a Pokephile until I actual began writing. Her relationship with Blaziken will become more detailed in later chapters, where she and Slash meet up (and perhaps exchange notes on the whole mated-with-Pokemon-thing).
Poison---I purposely made it very, very dangerous, especially for a physically fragile Pokemon like Gardevoir. I had to balance the games with common sense and my previous use of Pokeballs, and came up with this---standard Pokeballs suspend consciousness (although this can be overridden, ie, in Gym Battles), but not the body; Pokemon age in their Pokeballs, and any injuries can get worse (although, since the Pokemon is held stationary, bone damage and superficial injuries tend not to get any worse...mostly this would apply to blood-based disorders, like poison). Some Pokeballs can slightly slow the effects, particularly more advanced versions, but not negate them (and Slash doesn't have those balls anyway). Kind of a cop-out? Yeah, but necessary for one reason---if Slash can just Pokeball a severely injured Pokemon, how the fuck am I supposed to build tension? I mean, think about how lame it would be if Slash just went "oh, Gardie, you've been poisoned. Guess you'll be in the ball until we get to Fallarbor".
That's also the reason I didn't give Slash a flying Pokemon, so he would have to haul his sorry ass around and not be able to run away as easily. XD
PLOT---Small entrance, hungry Cacturne (as is expanded upon in the next couple chapters). They weren't slapping each other's noses and pulling a Three Stooges on them...and for the record, medicines are stored in wooden boxes. I was thinking sort of humidor-like containers, hence me mentioning the box breaking and not just the glass shattering. Likewise, it was a Cacturne whacking it, not a vial being dropped---these Pokemon are capable of matching Graveler in physical combat, so even tough containers are going to break.
As for why only the antidotes broke...there is a reason for that, believe it or not, and it'll be expanded on in 22. Let's just say that the feeling that they had in 21, that there was something wanting them to slip up and make a dumb mistake...it wasn't just their imagination.
I'm still proud of 21, and I like the way 22 came out...er, is coming out (lolspoiler, it's done and I'm submitting it as soon as I finish review responding). I guess I can't please everyone everytime.
Cerebrate Fate---zomg
shad---Glad you like it.
shadow storm657---Honestly? I have narrowed Sinners down to a handful of possible endings, ranging from utterly tragic to happy and everyone-lives-y. The one I'm currently leaning towards is a mixed ending. It's very unlikely that everyone will survive to the end...including Slash's Pack, I'm sorry to say. Life just doesn't turn out that good often.
And heh, glad that you think so.
chaoslord---Ya know, since I'm doing what I'm doing with 22, I'll go ahead and say it now: yes, it's Silver. Keep in mind, though, that Sinners takes place about twenty years after Mewtwo's creation, which means Silver is an adult now. He won't get a real appearance until 23, but I'm looking forward to it.
lol, Slash and Flannery's packs won't get into orgies (outside of oneshots, anyway), but there might be some naughtiness. More along the lines of watching each other go at it, though, not swapping.
And fuck yes on comics, especially the sex. :-D
Imasuky Lomae---Ash is in prison. lulz
RoboRed---They replaced Misty because they fail at writing romantic tension. What assholes.
Cerebrate Fate, RoboRed---I am so fucking terrible, lol. I've had some people make me Sinners art (such as my profile avatar, squee), and that alone is fucking awesome. Now, if someone made me something of Gardie getting nailed in the ass...oh ho ho. Aerisdies doesn't cut it sometimes, because not every Gardevoir looks like Psymakio. Bleh.
Iota---I wish my disclaimer could be "I have annexed the rights to the Pokemon franchise, on the grounds that they have no fucking clue what they're doing with the anime, and have seized all rights to this story. Money plz".
Read your stuff, love it. Good to have more high-quality fics around here. Can't never have enough well-written fanfiction on AFF...hell, that's why I started writing.
Josh---Glad you like it. Flannery and Slash are going to end up working together to...well, resist the force causing trouble in Fallarbor. NOT SAYING WHAT THAT IS THOUGH, TEE HEE
SaigoKarasu---They're a shitload better than anything I could do, lol. First one is pretty hot, actually...XD
Cerebrate Fate---You mean chapter 17, right? lol, multi-arc. Yeah, I wanted to put the anal scene in 16, but there was so much sex there that it would have been crowded. XD
Noteven---Compared to the lengths of some of the earlier chapters, these 20000+ monsters are fucking crazy...I shouldn't make them, I know, I should make shorter, more frequent updates...but I just like writing huge-ass chapters that take a while to read.
Glad that you like what I've written so far, and believe me when I say that your look at the world of Sinners has only just begun. Compared to the main storyline of Sinners, we're still in the fucking prologue. XD
Iota---Hm, I always thought that Gardevoir was a play on Garde, to watch out for, and voir, to see...something like "to protect what she sees". Huh.
sbn732---Speaking of Romeo and Juliet, Slash and Psymakio are going to meet Slash's parents in a later chapter (like, post-Fallarbor, which is at least half a dozen chapters). I hope they don't get found out...
Glad that you like it, and yeah, tell your friends. Can't never have enough fans, heh.
Pokeprof---I know, I need to update more. And yes, I could have gotten into some Blaziken/Flannery hawtness, but...maybe later, heh. It would have broken up the flow of 21 if I had. Problem I haven't solved yet---how do they kiss? Blaziken sort of has a beak. Oh well, I'm sure they'll manage. :-D
Glad that you enjoy it, and I'll keep on pumping out Pokemon fics until...well, for a long fucking time, heh.
Espy---Glad you like it. :-D
MOAR---OKAY
RoboRed---YES
Max---Bet you've read it three times because I'm such a slow-updating fuck, lol. New chapter imminent, but LOL, the cliffhanger is...well...you'll see.
I'm a bad man.
Dargvaughn The Dark God Of Tentacle Rape--- 'kay.
Lejos de casa---Glad you like it, and I love reviews (even if I'm not as punctual with responding as I used to be, lol). More work incoming!
Vaez_the_wandering_assassin---Arcanine will eventually be Slash and Psymakio's means of transport. While flying Pokemon would make travel TOO easy, a runner like Arcanine will make it faster, but...still good for plot. Plus it's such a noble Pokemon, very good for them.
RoboRed---Yes, and Thor hurts.
Adam Bowman---I am very glad that you think so highly of it. I know that it's easy to shrug off this and other serious fanfics..."it's just a fanfiction", "it's just Pokemon, how serious can it be", etc...but yes, this story means a lot to me. While I am borrowing the world of another, the characters and plot are born from my heart, and I am very proud of this work. The fact that it's about Pokemon does not negate the seriousness of the conflict and morals of the story.
And lol, originally, it was mostly "Gardevoir's hot". But things have changed since then (although Gardie's hotness ain't one of them, heh).
Kitsune_Writer---Glad that you like it, and I'm honored to inspire more people to pick up their pens...keyboards, whatever...and write. Hooray for inspiration! :-D
ANGRY READER---lol
RoboRed---Referring to my profile (and now my livejournal and NG, which also mention it), heh. AND YEAH I KNOW
Vyers---You'll be thinking about it even more, since I cut the desert chapter in half and the pregnancy is in the second half. XD SORRY LOL
Anon---SLASH hung on with FOCUS BAND! Slash used COUNTER WITH NEW CHAPTER!
Imasuky Lomae---Heh.
Cerebrate Fate---Reason number 2353452345 that I should have the right to annex the copyright for Pokemon: Gardevoir can get it on with Weezing. WHAT THE FUCK MAN
Anon---If there was a hybrid in Sinners, it would follow the rules of basic Pokemon breeding---species of the mother, traits of the father. The application of father traits would be case-by-case.
And lol, yes, I ARTISTIC LICENSE the first point. Gardie, and many Pokemon, are livebearers. I can't imagine Gardie laying eggs, ya know?
LOL, actually, twisted fact: as a joke, I was planning to make a oneshot mentioning her laying a couple eggs a day, like a chicken, and the pack cooks them up for breakfast. XD XD XD
Of course, that never developed. :-P
Okay, time for chapter 22! Deploying...
schedule
July 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Okay first off I’d like to see the next chapter up on the 31st that’s my birthday and a new chapter would be one of the best presents ever and secondly this chapter cause half of my brain chibis to drop dead so here’s what the ones still alive think
Pervert Chibi : Damn you I wanted Psymakio sex it’s been to long sine there’s been any good Gardevoir porn and all of us are to lazy to writ any.
Smart Chibi : Mister Firestorm I dare say this is without question one of the best pieces of literary masterwork I have ever had the pleasure of reading it was a very well constructed piece that very elegantly conveyed a great deal of plot and emotion in such a way that it was at times easy to forget that the characters were created by someone who has not had several years more experience that what you do I congratulate you on you fine writing skills and eagerly await the next installment of this most excellent and enjoyable narrative.
Emotional Chibi : Wahhhhhhh I fell so bad for that poor prince and Miyako and all those poor pokemon and even Kaiko I mean sure he’s the badguy but he lost the woman he loved maybe just maybe he can redeem himself in this new life Wahhhhh Waaahhhhhhhhhh I can’t stop crying I hope everything turns out well and that not to many people have to suffer.
Evil Chibi : I gotta say I’m really like the Shadow it sounds like the kind of thing I’d side with and of course I’m very found of the Dark I don’t care about anyone other than myself and what makes me happy and one of the things I like is this story so don’t take to long or else.
Otaku Chibi : OH WOW KICK ASS awesome new chapter loved every bit of it I don’t even know where to start everything was so great Slash killing for the first time and realizing just how much it changes you and the flashback the pokemon kingdom sounds so cool and it also proved a lot of my theories actually this chapter told me more than I thought I know you said you had taken a lot out but you left in more than enough for me to put together the pieces and think up some new stuff I already figure out a few things but I’m not going to say anything in case others haven’t figure them out yet but I love the whole thing about the past and guns no longer existing well certain sense and about the interloper I had that figured out before any of the other chibis but I wouldn’t tell them so they beat me with bags of potatoes which has nothing to do with anything I just told you because well I had to tell someone anyways that all I have to say so Bye-Bye.
White Mage Chibi : Thanks a lot for adding a new chapter Half of those idiots were so surprised the dropped iver dead and know I have to bring them all back it’s going to take over twenty pounds of Phoenix down I demand that you reapy me for the cost of it with another chapter posted ON TIME!!!!!!!!!!
Well that’s all my brain chibis have to say for now hopefully the rest will be alright in time for the next chapter until then I’m going to have a hard time thinking with half my mind gone.
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Pervert Chibi : Damn you I wanted Psymakio sex it’s been to long sine there’s been any good Gardevoir porn and all of us are to lazy to writ any.
Smart Chibi : Mister Firestorm I dare say this is without question one of the best pieces of literary masterwork I have ever had the pleasure of reading it was a very well constructed piece that very elegantly conveyed a great deal of plot and emotion in such a way that it was at times easy to forget that the characters were created by someone who has not had several years more experience that what you do I congratulate you on you fine writing skills and eagerly await the next installment of this most excellent and enjoyable narrative.
Emotional Chibi : Wahhhhhhh I fell so bad for that poor prince and Miyako and all those poor pokemon and even Kaiko I mean sure he’s the badguy but he lost the woman he loved maybe just maybe he can redeem himself in this new life Wahhhhh Waaahhhhhhhhhh I can’t stop crying I hope everything turns out well and that not to many people have to suffer.
Evil Chibi : I gotta say I’m really like the Shadow it sounds like the kind of thing I’d side with and of course I’m very found of the Dark I don’t care about anyone other than myself and what makes me happy and one of the things I like is this story so don’t take to long or else.
Otaku Chibi : OH WOW KICK ASS awesome new chapter loved every bit of it I don’t even know where to start everything was so great Slash killing for the first time and realizing just how much it changes you and the flashback the pokemon kingdom sounds so cool and it also proved a lot of my theories actually this chapter told me more than I thought I know you said you had taken a lot out but you left in more than enough for me to put together the pieces and think up some new stuff I already figure out a few things but I’m not going to say anything in case others haven’t figure them out yet but I love the whole thing about the past and guns no longer existing well certain sense and about the interloper I had that figured out before any of the other chibis but I wouldn’t tell them so they beat me with bags of potatoes which has nothing to do with anything I just told you because well I had to tell someone anyways that all I have to say so Bye-Bye.
White Mage Chibi : Thanks a lot for adding a new chapter Half of those idiots were so surprised the dropped iver dead and know I have to bring them all back it’s going to take over twenty pounds of Phoenix down I demand that you reapy me for the cost of it with another chapter posted ON TIME!!!!!!!!!!
Well that’s all my brain chibis have to say for now hopefully the rest will be alright in time for the next chapter until then I’m going to have a hard time thinking with half my mind gone.
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
schedule
July 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Way to knock my story down to number 2 Slash, lol.
Also, read the newest chapter, and loved it. But now I'm concerned.
Alot of the "dream" sequence paralells my story. I might need to switch a few things around to make my story sound a bit more unique.
Speaking of which, Slash you dirty, dirty man, have you read any of my story Ragnarok yet? Gimme your best shot!
;)
Also, read the newest chapter, and loved it. But now I'm concerned.
Alot of the "dream" sequence paralells my story. I might need to switch a few things around to make my story sound a bit more unique.
Speaking of which, Slash you dirty, dirty man, have you read any of my story Ragnarok yet? Gimme your best shot!
;)
schedule
July 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Lessee here...how to start this review (and later keep my ADHD-ridden thoughts together)...
"Fucking...mind...blowing..."
Now I see why you held back and did some major editing. I think my head would've exploded if I had to comprehend any more. This backstory is absolutely epic. It's very interesting in how the story took a sudden leap to a completely different world. It's such a radical leap and I could juxtapose it with so many things (mostly video games. Namely Assassin's Creed, since the main character is from a "present" era and is taking a leap back to the era of the crusades in his predecessor's body, and Guild Wars (:Prophecies), where the prologue section of the game takes place two years before the setting of the game, where everything in Ascalon is lush and green and peaceful, but then the Searing takes place and two years later, the place is an apocalyptic wasteland...aaaandd I realize I'm going off on a tangent...ANYWAYS). The era of the First Kingdom of Hoenn was easily visualized with such imagery that someone who plays fantasy/RPG stuff (like me) could easily get off on. I think the best way to keep this next thought together would be a list of questions/comments:
- 1. Daaaaaaaayummmm...O_O
- 2. Unfamiliar Poke'mon? Are these perhaps 4th-gen Poke'mon? Or are you just making this stuff up as you go along and will prolly never use it later and leave us wondering? :P
- 3. The castle part is awesome. To see something like that in real life would be absolutely breathtaking. On two random tangents: it sounds like something from an anime I might have seen before, and did you borrow off of the white castle from LOTR: Return of the King? :P
- 4. Castle is awesome. Fuck, I wish I could draw. (Maybe I could at least try to make a sketch if I can motivate my lazy ass to do it. *sadface*)
- 5. Castle is awesome. Fuck, I wish Slash could draw...then I wouldn't be worrying about this. :P
Bottom line, comparing the backstory to what's happened in all the previous chapters (which I had plenty of time to reread in-between updates thank you very much */sarcasm*), and building off of my last actual chapter review (not my random posting here, and speaking of posting, I'll get to that later), it totally changes the perspective of the story with all that Slash and Psymakio have been through. And it again illustrates how they're not alone in this venture, as bigger it is than the both of them, especially with the introduction of the Shadow (but in thinking back, I think you already mentioned the Shadow in a narrator's perspective back in Chapter 18). As you said, all lines of force are converging, including Flannery, Silver (as most recently revealed :P), Kiako, and Giovanni. Whatever is going to happen soon is going to be epic, and that's what I can tell.
So anyways, I should probably wrap this up soon. So I'll leave with a few random notes and a couple responses to other responses.
- Yaaay! Updateness!!!
- There was no fapping to be found here, BUT IT MATTERS NOT! The wonderful imagery and the backstory MORE than made up for lack of fap!
- *little goth person in back of mind waving flag that says "Yaaaay! Tragedy and Angst! ^_^"*
- THERE WAS NO MENTION OF PREGGERS IN THIS CHAPTER!!! LIES AND SLANDER!!! *hits self with hammer and reminds self it will be mentioned in chapter 23* Speaking of which, that sound of shattering glass some might have heard a few days ago was my mind breaking from reading that comment.
- (from speaking about posting) Dude, you really, really, really, really, REALLY should host a message board for all this. Seriously. It would be a great medium for all Sinners fans to converge, share ideas, and random thoughts about upcoming chapters (and of course, talk to you, since you're, like, NEVER on AIM or anything *sadface*). There are quite a few places that will host free, pop-up free message boards. Off the bat, I should mention http://www.proboards.com/ . They host the message board for the gaming clan I'm in. Never had a popup once, and it's all free.
- So, this is only a taste of the Sinner's universe, and Slash and Gardie meet Slash's parents about 20 chapters from now...
...
...
...
...
I'm going to be fucking 35 years old by the time this all finishes...:P
- YAAAY!!! Electrike is evolving! :D
- Dude, I got a DS and Diamond version last month. You really need to get it. (and an emulator isn't going to cut it, I tried. Better experience with the actual thing) There's plenty of stuff to keep one involved for a long time. (the only downside right now is that I don't know anyone else who has a DS AND a version of D/P...and I have a Graveler and a shiny Haunter I want to evolve too, dammit)
- @Cerebrate Fate: Now there's three mediums of gardie stuff for me to look through: AeriesDies, ANGPH (http://agnph.com/home.shtml) and Rule 34. Although I've already looked through the gardie sections of the first two.
Anyways, that wraps up this review/random tangent. PEACE! (and hurry up with the next chapter!)
"Fucking...mind...blowing..."
Now I see why you held back and did some major editing. I think my head would've exploded if I had to comprehend any more. This backstory is absolutely epic. It's very interesting in how the story took a sudden leap to a completely different world. It's such a radical leap and I could juxtapose it with so many things (mostly video games. Namely Assassin's Creed, since the main character is from a "present" era and is taking a leap back to the era of the crusades in his predecessor's body, and Guild Wars (:Prophecies), where the prologue section of the game takes place two years before the setting of the game, where everything in Ascalon is lush and green and peaceful, but then the Searing takes place and two years later, the place is an apocalyptic wasteland...aaaandd I realize I'm going off on a tangent...ANYWAYS). The era of the First Kingdom of Hoenn was easily visualized with such imagery that someone who plays fantasy/RPG stuff (like me) could easily get off on. I think the best way to keep this next thought together would be a list of questions/comments:
- 1. Daaaaaaaayummmm...O_O
- 2. Unfamiliar Poke'mon? Are these perhaps 4th-gen Poke'mon? Or are you just making this stuff up as you go along and will prolly never use it later and leave us wondering? :P
- 3. The castle part is awesome. To see something like that in real life would be absolutely breathtaking. On two random tangents: it sounds like something from an anime I might have seen before, and did you borrow off of the white castle from LOTR: Return of the King? :P
- 4. Castle is awesome. Fuck, I wish I could draw. (Maybe I could at least try to make a sketch if I can motivate my lazy ass to do it. *sadface*)
- 5. Castle is awesome. Fuck, I wish Slash could draw...then I wouldn't be worrying about this. :P
Bottom line, comparing the backstory to what's happened in all the previous chapters (which I had plenty of time to reread in-between updates thank you very much */sarcasm*), and building off of my last actual chapter review (not my random posting here, and speaking of posting, I'll get to that later), it totally changes the perspective of the story with all that Slash and Psymakio have been through. And it again illustrates how they're not alone in this venture, as bigger it is than the both of them, especially with the introduction of the Shadow (but in thinking back, I think you already mentioned the Shadow in a narrator's perspective back in Chapter 18). As you said, all lines of force are converging, including Flannery, Silver (as most recently revealed :P), Kiako, and Giovanni. Whatever is going to happen soon is going to be epic, and that's what I can tell.
So anyways, I should probably wrap this up soon. So I'll leave with a few random notes and a couple responses to other responses.
- Yaaay! Updateness!!!
- There was no fapping to be found here, BUT IT MATTERS NOT! The wonderful imagery and the backstory MORE than made up for lack of fap!
- *little goth person in back of mind waving flag that says "Yaaaay! Tragedy and Angst! ^_^"*
- THERE WAS NO MENTION OF PREGGERS IN THIS CHAPTER!!! LIES AND SLANDER!!! *hits self with hammer and reminds self it will be mentioned in chapter 23* Speaking of which, that sound of shattering glass some might have heard a few days ago was my mind breaking from reading that comment.
- (from speaking about posting) Dude, you really, really, really, really, REALLY should host a message board for all this. Seriously. It would be a great medium for all Sinners fans to converge, share ideas, and random thoughts about upcoming chapters (and of course, talk to you, since you're, like, NEVER on AIM or anything *sadface*). There are quite a few places that will host free, pop-up free message boards. Off the bat, I should mention http://www.proboards.com/ . They host the message board for the gaming clan I'm in. Never had a popup once, and it's all free.
- So, this is only a taste of the Sinner's universe, and Slash and Gardie meet Slash's parents about 20 chapters from now...
...
...
...
...
I'm going to be fucking 35 years old by the time this all finishes...:P
- YAAAY!!! Electrike is evolving! :D
- Dude, I got a DS and Diamond version last month. You really need to get it. (and an emulator isn't going to cut it, I tried. Better experience with the actual thing) There's plenty of stuff to keep one involved for a long time. (the only downside right now is that I don't know anyone else who has a DS AND a version of D/P...and I have a Graveler and a shiny Haunter I want to evolve too, dammit)
- @Cerebrate Fate: Now there's three mediums of gardie stuff for me to look through: AeriesDies, ANGPH (http://agnph.com/home.shtml) and Rule 34. Although I've already looked through the gardie sections of the first two.
Anyways, that wraps up this review/random tangent. PEACE! (and hurry up with the next chapter!)
schedule
July 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Jesus Christ.
....
This story gets better and better, I can only wish for MOAR and how.
God damn your awesome story. Now I'll try and go distract myself by watching Batman.
Excellent work as always, please GOD KEEP IT UP!
....
This story gets better and better, I can only wish for MOAR and how.
God damn your awesome story. Now I'll try and go distract myself by watching Batman.
Excellent work as always, please GOD KEEP IT UP!
schedule
July 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I choose you, Thor!
*Throws pokeball*
*Big buff bearded blonde pops out*
EQUIP>HAMMERS>Mjolnir
Crush attack, go!
TARGET: Slash's testicles
CRITICAL HIT! It's Super Effective!
*Throws pokeball*
*Big buff bearded blonde pops out*
EQUIP>HAMMERS>Mjolnir
Crush attack, go!
TARGET: Slash's testicles
CRITICAL HIT! It's Super Effective!
schedule
July 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I don't think Slash will have a firstborn after that Oh well guess after he's gone the genes that allowed for such a good story will be gone and as a note if Slash doesn’t update soon I'm going to unleash my mega super ultra hyper werewolf who now has a new head sticking out of his belly that does a horrible impression of Dane Cook
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
schedule
July 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wait, what? Spoiler? Pregant? Hot sauce? Hornet's nest? Rash? I didn't get any spoiler or teaser in my e-mail...WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!? *sadface*
On another note:
http://slashfirestorm.newgrounds.com/news/post/146237
*British accent* You disappoint me, good sir. It hath been past the next week.*more sadface*
On another note:
http://slashfirestorm.newgrounds.com/news/post/146237
*British accent* You disappoint me, good sir. It hath been past the next week.*more sadface*