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March 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Excellent chapter! Looking foward to the next one!
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March 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
YAY! New chapteryness!
I really don't mind if it's mostly lengthly text-dialouge stuff or not. For one thing, that's what the most part of any story is. For another, it just gives me more to wrap my head around and makes the story even more interesting and fun.
It was a little hard getting back into the story right off the bat, considering when we last heard anything realting to Slash & Psymakio they had just finished having intimate water sex. (the oneshot fit so well into the storyline that it might as well have been another chapter) But anyways, I like how the story's taken another look at the interloper thing, and the overall surrealism of Slash's inner mind. Giving the Interloper an gender changes things a lot, since I had originally thought of the Interloper as kind of an "it" from someone else's conscious, but then again, I had now clue who the interloper was in the first place, so meh...
Angel was in interesting touch to the story. I've seen different situations in games and stories where a character has some kind of personal AI with them to help them along or something - an unseen, but informative companion. I'm eager to see how this turns out.
A few other things I can't wait to see are how Slash's telekinetic abilities develop, and the overall adventues in the desert.
Anyways, great job again, and I await March 29.
To Imasuky: Arrgh...I went to Best Buy the other day to buy a Wii...and just the day before, they had a restock and had it run out all in the same day. :(...one of these days, I'll get one...MY INNER GAMER DEMANDS SMASH BROS. BRAWL!!! (at least they had it on display and I got to play it a little bit...)
I really don't mind if it's mostly lengthly text-dialouge stuff or not. For one thing, that's what the most part of any story is. For another, it just gives me more to wrap my head around and makes the story even more interesting and fun.
It was a little hard getting back into the story right off the bat, considering when we last heard anything realting to Slash & Psymakio they had just finished having intimate water sex. (the oneshot fit so well into the storyline that it might as well have been another chapter) But anyways, I like how the story's taken another look at the interloper thing, and the overall surrealism of Slash's inner mind. Giving the Interloper an gender changes things a lot, since I had originally thought of the Interloper as kind of an "it" from someone else's conscious, but then again, I had now clue who the interloper was in the first place, so meh...
Angel was in interesting touch to the story. I've seen different situations in games and stories where a character has some kind of personal AI with them to help them along or something - an unseen, but informative companion. I'm eager to see how this turns out.
A few other things I can't wait to see are how Slash's telekinetic abilities develop, and the overall adventues in the desert.
Anyways, great job again, and I await March 29.
To Imasuky: Arrgh...I went to Best Buy the other day to buy a Wii...and just the day before, they had a restock and had it run out all in the same day. :(...one of these days, I'll get one...MY INNER GAMER DEMANDS SMASH BROS. BRAWL!!! (at least they had it on display and I got to play it a little bit...)
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March 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Slash! What does the scouter say about my word count?
schedule
March 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
And i'll actually continue my story, when the fucking retards of youtube STOP flooding my fucking page!
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February 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well my story is on hold for the moment because of tests.I'll be able to get alot more done when I go to the hospital.
schedule
February 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
CrazyIvan---Things will continue to develop in the next chapter (which looks like it'll ACTUALLY BE ON TIME, OMG), although much more action will occur in chapter 21, when the team crosses the desert.
Incidentally, in my notes, I always refer to Slash and his Pokemon as "Slash's Pack", and I'll be trying to work that into the story itself as a title for them. As Slash develops, he and Psymakio will continued to be viewed as "alphas" by the other Pokemon, and they'll end up more like a pack or family than a trainer/Pokemon team.
One of my fans who I talk to on my livejournal made that avatar for me...I like it because it's not just a picture of a Gardevoir, but of Psymakio in particular---how I envision her to look. I know that y'all probably can't tell a difference, but the girl in that picture? That is exactly how you should envision Psymakio. Small and sweet and cute, heh.
It's also the first fan art anyone's ever made for me. I am humbled...
Incidentally, in my notes, I always refer to Slash and his Pokemon as "Slash's Pack", and I'll be trying to work that into the story itself as a title for them. As Slash develops, he and Psymakio will continued to be viewed as "alphas" by the other Pokemon, and they'll end up more like a pack or family than a trainer/Pokemon team.
One of my fans who I talk to on my livejournal made that avatar for me...I like it because it's not just a picture of a Gardevoir, but of Psymakio in particular---how I envision her to look. I know that y'all probably can't tell a difference, but the girl in that picture? That is exactly how you should envision Psymakio. Small and sweet and cute, heh.
It's also the first fan art anyone's ever made for me. I am humbled...
schedule
February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Imasuky Lomae---Heh, awesome. I invented a word! Great success!
GenoLiger---Glad you liked Afterglow, heh. Good luck on your story---the first one is always hardest (and it's always the least polished). When I look back on some of my early work and compare it with where I am today, I'm a little ashamed, lol.
In case anyone is interested, I uploaded an avatar today (you can view my profile to see it): a cute little picture of Psymakio that one of my readers made for me. Hooray for fan art! ^_^
GenoLiger---Glad you liked Afterglow, heh. Good luck on your story---the first one is always hardest (and it's always the least polished). When I look back on some of my early work and compare it with where I am today, I'm a little ashamed, lol.
In case anyone is interested, I uploaded an avatar today (you can view my profile to see it): a cute little picture of Psymakio that one of my readers made for me. Hooray for fan art! ^_^
schedule
February 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I liked the oneshot. Also I'm writing a story too. but it's a naruto fanfiction.Started yesterday.I have no idea how long it will be but it's gonna be my first.Oh and about the Bret thing Bret is my real first name and I use it when I make a character in a game as my name. I decided to use Genoliger because it's a combination of both my favorite zoids.Well I might be done with the first chapter of my story in about a week. So if anyone could beta read for me i would be really happy.
schedule
February 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Time for me to sit down for about an hour and reply to these reviews, huh? :-D
GenoLiger---No comment, heh. I'll probably send out another plotmail soon, though...
CrazyIvan---Sinners doesn't follow the manga at all---namely because I've never read it---and only has a basic link with the games (primarily third gen). Slash comes from Oldale, not Littleroot, and he is not supposed to be the protagonist from R/S/E. The basic rules of the games are followed---although some of them will be bent, of course, and purely game mechanic things like move limits will be ignored.
Xain---OVER 9000!!!!!!!
Imasuky Lomae---You wanna know something neat? I think I invented the word Garderotica. Kind of hard to believe, considering how hot Gardevoir is and how easy the words fit together, but all google results for the word come back to me using it. So it's either something I coined, or it's hidden really well, heh.
It is important to note, however, that google does not seem to return search results for anything on AFF (the dicks), so it's possible other uses of the term are just on sites that google has blacklisted.
trecers---Not to the best of my knowledge. This story is set in Hoenn, and fourth generation Pokemon will be relatively rare---particularly legendary ones. Although there are a few exceptions to that, too...
Josh Palmer---You're right to be worried. The world is not safe, especially not for two lovers in a forbidden relationship, and their enemies are powerful and numerous. I have not decided on an ending for the story yet, but one thing is for certain: if the two survive their adventure, they will not emerge unscathed.
The story will lead us all to places far darker than I'd like to go. But I have no choice; my muse has ruled, and my die has been cast. I caution all those who continue to read Sinners to be ready for tragedy at any turn---just as in real life, you may not see it coming.
Hell, I may not even see it coming.
Will Kiako betray Giovanni? Kukuku, more on Kiako in chapter 20.
Reo690---I CAN'T :'(
Did you know that some penguins have a surprisingly high rate of bisexuality?
Xain---Steven was so awesome in Ruby/Sapphire. Shame they had to make him an optional fight in Emerald. Bleh.
Imasuky Lomae---Gardevoir yuri is hot.
Psymakio might have a little girl-girl action at some point...in a oneshot, though. :3
Negativety101---I know. A lot easier to edit for me, too. We'll probably be in trouble again by the end of arc 2, especially with the chapters being so much bigger than they were in the first arc. Balls.
Imasuky Lomae---Whether it is or it isn't, it is in Sinners. Or at least close to being one, heh.
Tai---Indeed. Whenever I mention fourth-gen Pokemon, remember that I do NOT own Diamond or Pearl and I do NOT watch the anime, and am going completely by Serebii.net, heh.
Zendragan52793---Glad you like it, but you don't have to worry about it ending anytime soon, heh. We still have a LONG way to go.
Xain---February 14th. Incidentally, I got my passport on the 12th---long story, but I'm not a completely certified U.S. citizen, haha. I will be soon, though...
Negativety101---I just posted the Valentine's special (a wee bit late, lol), and yeah, it's happy. No angst or anything. So yay.
Imasuky Lomae---Oh fuck, long review. OKAY:
The earlier chapters of Sinners don't really compare to the later in terms of quality, although I probably will not re-write any of them. I may, at some time, do some editing of some key scenes---the Jirachian Intro scene, for instance---but no complete re-writes. Too much work, too many views, and too easy to fuck something up and forget a key plot point that will confuse new readers if missed.
I also think that Ralts/Kirlia's evolution and development was a little quick...but, then again, it's not SUPPOSED to be human-like development. She doesn't go from child to teenager to adult gradually because it's not her way---part of the fun in writing for Psymakio is that she's NOT human, and I have to write her in an entirely different---yet still identifiable---manner.
While much of the story wasn't planned out early on, a lot was, and I did leave lots of little hints and foreshadows in the earlier chapters (which is another reason I wouldn't attempt complete re-writes, don't wanna lose them), and some of them---but not all---have become clearer lately. What Kiako wants Gardevoir for, though...that's yet to be revealed. All I will say is that it's not going to be good.
Wanna know something funny? Maxie died because I didn't like him. My muse let me have my way with him, and I ended up not having much of a personality for him, so...adios, Maxie. I could have had him captured and jailed, but nope---Maxie is the first significant Sinners character for me to kill off INTENTIONALLY, without my muse's demand.
Watson, now, he's an example of the exact opposite. I knew he'd show up early on, but it wasn't until I started writing him that I realized that my muse wanted the old man to be a major character. The personality flowed naturally, and the games' ambiguity about the characters allowed for me to craft whatever backstory I wanted. His past with the Magmas will be revisited in the present soon or later---ka like a wheel---and he may pay for his sins...or he may be redeemed.
Or both.
Gardevoir learning to read was another of those little bonus moments for me. It's just so cute, although I personally like "popcorns" and "what is a porn tapes" more, heh. Incidentally, the "I could read the tablet" snippet isn't a cop-out---there is a reason, and it will be explained in time.
I am also proud about the first real sex scene being in chapter 16---and you all waited patiently (although some of you were a bit grumbly, lol) for the big mating event. I think that says something about this story...no one can claim that it's nothing more than meaningless smut, because I got the audience to stay interested for sixteen chapters before having the characters going all the way---and the first even quasi-sex scene was in chapter 13, which is still quite the wait.
Slash and Gardevoir will never have a master-slave relationship, and never will their bedroom life drift into S&M. The issues of dominance and submission will be rather light, although it WILL develop over time. I don't know exactly where they'll end up, but I do know where they won't end up---never will they bring pain or excessive force into things. It's just not their thing, lol.
More on the Interloper, and the other Voice, in the next chapter.
As for Slash's role in his destiny...well, there are three main themes of Sinners: love, redemption, and faith. Whether the themes falter or shine, and whether Slash can command one or all or any of them, is yet to be seen.
The Song is ENORMOUSLY important, even if it does not seem so---remember it. Just because the chapter is a short interlude, written on a whim, doesn't mean it's not important. In fact, it's those chapters, the ones that pop out of my mind fully-formed and outside of an outline, that show the true heart of the story.
While I still don't think that I write battles very well, I am glad at the outcome. Slash's pack is shown to be a powerful and innovative team, but not invincible by any means.
As for the Gym stuff...I don't go by exact size measurements, heh (all the Pokemon of a species wouldn't be the same size, anyway). I view Xatu as being the size of, say, a large hunting falcon. The Dewford Gym didn't have many special protections---no shields---because of the low level of the Pokemon making the chance of spectator injury negligible (plus the Xatu would monitor the situation). Watson's Pokemon are so powerful that they must fight in a highly-controlled station by necessity.
Sidney---and possibly all the Elite Four members---will make an appearance eventually. They may not be fighting against a trainer, however...
Anyway, the Halloween Special...yeah, the image you get from that is cute. Gardie might be developed like an adult, but her experiences with human culture are on the level of a child---letting her experience some of these little niceties.
I would like to see a sugar-crazed, hyperactive Gardevoir myself...she could have gotten so hyper that she'd force Slash down and lick HIM. :-D
Now, ASH RAPE---in the Sinners continuity, Ash is sitting in jail somewhere, convicted of---among many things---Pokemon abuse. But I can imagine his charges being much more broad...falsifying his Pokemon records (Volt Tackle, my ass), using illegal methods to power up Pokemon (that water wheel bullshit), forgetting to feed his fucking critters...
He is an ass, and he had it coming...IN HIS ASS. :-O
Bret---Move lists have been planned out for a while, set by events and not specific levels or anything, heh. Some moves are on the list that they'll never use---and other moves cannot normally be used by them (but it would be believable if they were, so...).
Tai---Yep. Slash's blossoming abilities will never reach the point where he can fight like a Pokemon. He'll have some gifts, yeah, but never will Slash Psybeam someone. He's much more inclined to just beat the crap out of them or shank them.
GenoLiger---Why cum ON her, when you can cum IN her? :-D
anonymous---Alts? In my AFF?
It's more likely than you think.
FREE ALT CHECK
RoboRed---All readers must learn this like it was a physical constant of the universe: I fail at deadlines. Always. I am much more likely to pull an unannounced chapter out of thin air than I am to finish something on time. My self-imposed deadlines are always wrong.
As for chapter 20...all I will say is that it'll be sooner rather than later. I have a surprise oneshot coming up in the near-ish future, but I do plan for 20 to be out before then.
Remember to check your mail for updates and plotmails! If anyone wants to be put on the mailing list, send an e-mail to me at slashfirestorm@inbox.com!
GenoLiger---No comment, heh. I'll probably send out another plotmail soon, though...
CrazyIvan---Sinners doesn't follow the manga at all---namely because I've never read it---and only has a basic link with the games (primarily third gen). Slash comes from Oldale, not Littleroot, and he is not supposed to be the protagonist from R/S/E. The basic rules of the games are followed---although some of them will be bent, of course, and purely game mechanic things like move limits will be ignored.
Xain---OVER 9000!!!!!!!
Imasuky Lomae---You wanna know something neat? I think I invented the word Garderotica. Kind of hard to believe, considering how hot Gardevoir is and how easy the words fit together, but all google results for the word come back to me using it. So it's either something I coined, or it's hidden really well, heh.
It is important to note, however, that google does not seem to return search results for anything on AFF (the dicks), so it's possible other uses of the term are just on sites that google has blacklisted.
trecers---Not to the best of my knowledge. This story is set in Hoenn, and fourth generation Pokemon will be relatively rare---particularly legendary ones. Although there are a few exceptions to that, too...
Josh Palmer---You're right to be worried. The world is not safe, especially not for two lovers in a forbidden relationship, and their enemies are powerful and numerous. I have not decided on an ending for the story yet, but one thing is for certain: if the two survive their adventure, they will not emerge unscathed.
The story will lead us all to places far darker than I'd like to go. But I have no choice; my muse has ruled, and my die has been cast. I caution all those who continue to read Sinners to be ready for tragedy at any turn---just as in real life, you may not see it coming.
Hell, I may not even see it coming.
Will Kiako betray Giovanni? Kukuku, more on Kiako in chapter 20.
Reo690---I CAN'T :'(
Did you know that some penguins have a surprisingly high rate of bisexuality?
Xain---Steven was so awesome in Ruby/Sapphire. Shame they had to make him an optional fight in Emerald. Bleh.
Imasuky Lomae---Gardevoir yuri is hot.
Psymakio might have a little girl-girl action at some point...in a oneshot, though. :3
Negativety101---I know. A lot easier to edit for me, too. We'll probably be in trouble again by the end of arc 2, especially with the chapters being so much bigger than they were in the first arc. Balls.
Imasuky Lomae---Whether it is or it isn't, it is in Sinners. Or at least close to being one, heh.
Tai---Indeed. Whenever I mention fourth-gen Pokemon, remember that I do NOT own Diamond or Pearl and I do NOT watch the anime, and am going completely by Serebii.net, heh.
Zendragan52793---Glad you like it, but you don't have to worry about it ending anytime soon, heh. We still have a LONG way to go.
Xain---February 14th. Incidentally, I got my passport on the 12th---long story, but I'm not a completely certified U.S. citizen, haha. I will be soon, though...
Negativety101---I just posted the Valentine's special (a wee bit late, lol), and yeah, it's happy. No angst or anything. So yay.
Imasuky Lomae---Oh fuck, long review. OKAY:
The earlier chapters of Sinners don't really compare to the later in terms of quality, although I probably will not re-write any of them. I may, at some time, do some editing of some key scenes---the Jirachian Intro scene, for instance---but no complete re-writes. Too much work, too many views, and too easy to fuck something up and forget a key plot point that will confuse new readers if missed.
I also think that Ralts/Kirlia's evolution and development was a little quick...but, then again, it's not SUPPOSED to be human-like development. She doesn't go from child to teenager to adult gradually because it's not her way---part of the fun in writing for Psymakio is that she's NOT human, and I have to write her in an entirely different---yet still identifiable---manner.
While much of the story wasn't planned out early on, a lot was, and I did leave lots of little hints and foreshadows in the earlier chapters (which is another reason I wouldn't attempt complete re-writes, don't wanna lose them), and some of them---but not all---have become clearer lately. What Kiako wants Gardevoir for, though...that's yet to be revealed. All I will say is that it's not going to be good.
Wanna know something funny? Maxie died because I didn't like him. My muse let me have my way with him, and I ended up not having much of a personality for him, so...adios, Maxie. I could have had him captured and jailed, but nope---Maxie is the first significant Sinners character for me to kill off INTENTIONALLY, without my muse's demand.
Watson, now, he's an example of the exact opposite. I knew he'd show up early on, but it wasn't until I started writing him that I realized that my muse wanted the old man to be a major character. The personality flowed naturally, and the games' ambiguity about the characters allowed for me to craft whatever backstory I wanted. His past with the Magmas will be revisited in the present soon or later---ka like a wheel---and he may pay for his sins...or he may be redeemed.
Or both.
Gardevoir learning to read was another of those little bonus moments for me. It's just so cute, although I personally like "popcorns" and "what is a porn tapes" more, heh. Incidentally, the "I could read the tablet" snippet isn't a cop-out---there is a reason, and it will be explained in time.
I am also proud about the first real sex scene being in chapter 16---and you all waited patiently (although some of you were a bit grumbly, lol) for the big mating event. I think that says something about this story...no one can claim that it's nothing more than meaningless smut, because I got the audience to stay interested for sixteen chapters before having the characters going all the way---and the first even quasi-sex scene was in chapter 13, which is still quite the wait.
Slash and Gardevoir will never have a master-slave relationship, and never will their bedroom life drift into S&M. The issues of dominance and submission will be rather light, although it WILL develop over time. I don't know exactly where they'll end up, but I do know where they won't end up---never will they bring pain or excessive force into things. It's just not their thing, lol.
More on the Interloper, and the other Voice, in the next chapter.
As for Slash's role in his destiny...well, there are three main themes of Sinners: love, redemption, and faith. Whether the themes falter or shine, and whether Slash can command one or all or any of them, is yet to be seen.
The Song is ENORMOUSLY important, even if it does not seem so---remember it. Just because the chapter is a short interlude, written on a whim, doesn't mean it's not important. In fact, it's those chapters, the ones that pop out of my mind fully-formed and outside of an outline, that show the true heart of the story.
While I still don't think that I write battles very well, I am glad at the outcome. Slash's pack is shown to be a powerful and innovative team, but not invincible by any means.
As for the Gym stuff...I don't go by exact size measurements, heh (all the Pokemon of a species wouldn't be the same size, anyway). I view Xatu as being the size of, say, a large hunting falcon. The Dewford Gym didn't have many special protections---no shields---because of the low level of the Pokemon making the chance of spectator injury negligible (plus the Xatu would monitor the situation). Watson's Pokemon are so powerful that they must fight in a highly-controlled station by necessity.
Sidney---and possibly all the Elite Four members---will make an appearance eventually. They may not be fighting against a trainer, however...
Anyway, the Halloween Special...yeah, the image you get from that is cute. Gardie might be developed like an adult, but her experiences with human culture are on the level of a child---letting her experience some of these little niceties.
I would like to see a sugar-crazed, hyperactive Gardevoir myself...she could have gotten so hyper that she'd force Slash down and lick HIM. :-D
Now, ASH RAPE---in the Sinners continuity, Ash is sitting in jail somewhere, convicted of---among many things---Pokemon abuse. But I can imagine his charges being much more broad...falsifying his Pokemon records (Volt Tackle, my ass), using illegal methods to power up Pokemon (that water wheel bullshit), forgetting to feed his fucking critters...
He is an ass, and he had it coming...IN HIS ASS. :-O
Bret---Move lists have been planned out for a while, set by events and not specific levels or anything, heh. Some moves are on the list that they'll never use---and other moves cannot normally be used by them (but it would be believable if they were, so...).
Tai---Yep. Slash's blossoming abilities will never reach the point where he can fight like a Pokemon. He'll have some gifts, yeah, but never will Slash Psybeam someone. He's much more inclined to just beat the crap out of them or shank them.
GenoLiger---Why cum ON her, when you can cum IN her? :-D
anonymous---Alts? In my AFF?
It's more likely than you think.
FREE ALT CHECK
RoboRed---All readers must learn this like it was a physical constant of the universe: I fail at deadlines. Always. I am much more likely to pull an unannounced chapter out of thin air than I am to finish something on time. My self-imposed deadlines are always wrong.
As for chapter 20...all I will say is that it'll be sooner rather than later. I have a surprise oneshot coming up in the near-ish future, but I do plan for 20 to be out before then.
Remember to check your mail for updates and plotmails! If anyone wants to be put on the mailing list, send an e-mail to me at slashfirestorm@inbox.com!
schedule
February 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I looked around use a few differnt sites and you are the only person to use the word Garderotica.
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae