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September 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This.
Is.
EPIC!
I've been reading Sinners for awhile now, and I haven't been disappointed. Not even once. The plot runs smoothly, and it both twists and turns in some spots, while in others it seems to be smooth sailing. I love the characters, and the whole story is really quite wonderful. I want to give Psymakio a hug.
I salute you sir, and all that you do. *bows*
Is.
EPIC!
I've been reading Sinners for awhile now, and I haven't been disappointed. Not even once. The plot runs smoothly, and it both twists and turns in some spots, while in others it seems to be smooth sailing. I love the characters, and the whole story is really quite wonderful. I want to give Psymakio a hug.
I salute you sir, and all that you do. *bows*
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September 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You were wrong Slash, it took me two days to go through it all, and I loved every minute of it. XD
It was fucking epic...I must read more, in chapters of 200,000. o_o
I would then be complete. ^_^
I don't care if people call me a fanboy, I know great work when I see it. It being long gives me something to read...And I love Reading.
It was fucking epic...I must read more, in chapters of 200,000. o_o
I would then be complete. ^_^
I don't care if people call me a fanboy, I know great work when I see it. It being long gives me something to read...And I love Reading.
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September 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
One thing still confuses me Slash, his body tore itself apart, does that REALLY mean the end for him?
Because if it isn't it's a bit of a Dues Ex Machina in itself. o_o;
Because if it isn't it's a bit of a Dues Ex Machina in itself. o_o;
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September 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
"This explosion was even more vicious than the previous, which had nearly killed him, and Kiako screamed in unbridled agony as his body tore itself apart from the force of his own power."
I forgot to read the last leg...So I'm still reading it apparently. o_o;
I forgot to read the last leg...So I'm still reading it apparently. o_o;
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September 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
And so, Cataclysm came at last. The short of it: OH MAH GAH.
The long of it: I loved the fights, the mood, the performances. There are some negligible issues, but they've already been gone over by the other reviews for this chapter, so I'll spare you more of the same. It was epic, it was huge, it took me two sessions to read, it took a while to get here, but it was worth it.
So, the Dark Tower references were intentional, were they? Hmhmhm, I see, I see. And there will be more, no doubt. Just don't get too heavy on them, don't want it to look like you're completely ripping stuff off. I probably won't mind much, but others...? Yeeeeah. Gotta be careful about those sorts of things.
Anyway, I enjoyed it. Now, onto some lighter, fluffier issues for a little while! FLUUUUFFFF.
The long of it: I loved the fights, the mood, the performances. There are some negligible issues, but they've already been gone over by the other reviews for this chapter, so I'll spare you more of the same. It was epic, it was huge, it took me two sessions to read, it took a while to get here, but it was worth it.
So, the Dark Tower references were intentional, were they? Hmhmhm, I see, I see. And there will be more, no doubt. Just don't get too heavy on them, don't want it to look like you're completely ripping stuff off. I probably won't mind much, but others...? Yeeeeah. Gotta be careful about those sorts of things.
Anyway, I enjoyed it. Now, onto some lighter, fluffier issues for a little while! FLUUUUFFFF.
schedule
September 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I can't believe it. You went there again. You used child rape as a plot device in the story, and poorly at that. That's twice so far, by my count, to characterize Slash as some sort of DARK AND EDGY Pokemon vigilante, and give cheap thrills to the story. I actually called the child rape ahead of time after you mentioned that the girl was just a kid and that she was captive.
I said I wouldn't review your story again and remind you of your shortcomings as a writer, but this was so beyond the pale that I had to return to this den of never-ending praise. I was doing my thing, reading and laughing at your expense as always, and then I get to the rape scene. I get angry for being right about the "squick". Then I get even angrier when you make the little girl suddenly snap out of her believable catatonic state after she has been constantly raped for days, if not WEEKS, by Aquas and Pokemon alike. Then I am intensely saddened when Slash just treats her as an exposition device after she's said her piece and leaves her. And THEN it all goes to shit when I scroll past the never-ending, derivative fighting and find that not only has the little ten-year-old not stayed in the cavern as asked, but she shows up in the final fight scene to support Slash.
You wrote this armed with a single anecdote of life experience instead of doing the research on the trauma and multi-faceted reality of rape, even though you seem to be aware of it. You treat a ten-year-old not as a child but as some sort of super-being with an iron will, not two hours after getting out of a state of misery and a mind-breaking existence. You used this instance of rape, at best, trivially. At worst, you just tacked it on to up the shock value.
As Imasuky Lomae put it, this is beyond words.
I said I wouldn't review your story again and remind you of your shortcomings as a writer, but this was so beyond the pale that I had to return to this den of never-ending praise. I was doing my thing, reading and laughing at your expense as always, and then I get to the rape scene. I get angry for being right about the "squick". Then I get even angrier when you make the little girl suddenly snap out of her believable catatonic state after she has been constantly raped for days, if not WEEKS, by Aquas and Pokemon alike. Then I am intensely saddened when Slash just treats her as an exposition device after she's said her piece and leaves her. And THEN it all goes to shit when I scroll past the never-ending, derivative fighting and find that not only has the little ten-year-old not stayed in the cavern as asked, but she shows up in the final fight scene to support Slash.
You wrote this armed with a single anecdote of life experience instead of doing the research on the trauma and multi-faceted reality of rape, even though you seem to be aware of it. You treat a ten-year-old not as a child but as some sort of super-being with an iron will, not two hours after getting out of a state of misery and a mind-breaking existence. You used this instance of rape, at best, trivially. At worst, you just tacked it on to up the shock value.
As Imasuky Lomae put it, this is beyond words.
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August 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Perfect Purity---Thanks, I fixed it.
It's close to the end, especially in terms of sheer length, lol. There will be like, four or five more chapters (rough estimate, don't quote me on that), but none will be nearly this long. I'm hoping very much to have chapter 30 out in September, and 31 and 32 before October's done. I'm HOPING.
And...yeah...I took those off my "goals for this year" (and changed it to "goals for the nearish future") after realizing just how impossible that goal is, lol. I was hoping no one would notice... XD
Satoku---That's alright. I did take a long time, after all.
The issue of Katarina's reaction has been brought up in a couple e-mails and a livejournal post; I'll try to explain it on AFF so I don't gotta say it a bunch of times. Everyone has different reactions to being raped---some indeed become near-catatonic (some to the point of being a milder version of Caska from Berserk, even). Some do the stereotypical (and tragic, when it happens) shaking/crying/showering repeatedly to clean themselves deal. Some try to act like it never happened. There's no one 'correct' reaction, and it's kind of depressing to see how few reactions are shown in the media, because there's a huuuuge spectrum for it. My portrayal of Katarina is based off of my only experience with such a monstrosity---a friend of mine who went through it---and thus the only portrayal I felt comfortable showing, for fear of "getting something wrong". The initial shock and "muteness" was what I saw happen in my friend---an absolute refusal to talk to anyone, and getting upset when anyone persisted in trying to comfort her. I had Katarina cling to Flannery (and Psymakio to a far lesser extent) because, again in my personal experience, my friend clung to a female friend she was much less close to than myself, her best friend (I later learned that she felt uncomfortable around me because I'm a guy, regardless of how close we were). As for her seemingly quick recovery, Katarina was reminded of her duty and thus clung to it; my friend was mostly shaken out of the "shock stage" when constantly reminded of (and this may sound funny) her multitude of pets, which her family had taken care of while she was still refusing to leave her room. It didn't matter so much what it was---it was that it gave her something to focus on and take her mind off of it enough to recover gradually. Katarina was reminded of the urgency of the situation and her position (at Slash's urging; he tried what worked when his cousin was raped, as will be mentioned later), and she focused everything on that. The problem, of course, is that unlike my friend, who was able to gradually heal while engaging in activity, Katarina will reach Mauville, without her position, and thus will be forced to confront it. It's an extrapolation, but it's a fairly reasonable response based on what I witnessed, and the most difficult parts of her recovery are yet to come.
As for the reaction of the Pokemon, Blaziken would indeed have thorough knowledge of such things---as the Kaishakunin of a Gym Leader, who is the closest thing cities have to a mayor, he would be well acquainted with human affairs due to being near Flannery, including crime. Manectric was confused by what he saw, but he's not stupid; he and Blaziken heard what was happening (and the unmistakable sounds of pain and fear; couple this with Manectric's excellent sense of smell) and broke in to find it going on. He saw a little girl bleeding and being attacked by their enemies, and even one with no prior knowledge of rape would be shaken by the sight of someone in so much pain and shock. Confused, he left the building and Growlithe (who, as Slash's first Pokemon and original "Kaishakunin", would know all that Slash did) had to talk to him for a while to get him to come back in.
Pokemon who reproduce in "normal" ways all have mates; there may be a wide variety of mating processes, but they all come down to "Pokemon loving each other". To see the exact opposite of that, coupled with such violence and her fear...they'd figure it out easily enough.
As for Kiako, Aggron said it best---he never could decide on what he wants. Kiako's backstory is, so far, not yet shown, but I can say this much without spoiling anything major...Kiako grew up with his Pokemon as his only real friends, and he treats them as such. They're nakama, all working for the same goal---to put Kiako in power. However, while he can be caring toward his team, he also needs to appear ruthless and commanding (both to others and to himself), and thus he occasionally acts like kind of a dick, even when he's doing something honorable (like refusing to let Aggron get killed for his sake). It's pride, really. He can be "nice", but even when he is, he does it in a dickish way because he has a strong need to appear cold and ruthless. He would have acted differently if they had been alone and facing, say, a wild Pokemon, but surrounded by enemies? Very different story.
Kiako's backstory will be explained relatively soon. His origin was hinted at in one of the plotmails I sent out a long time ago...speaking of which, I need to make more of those...
Heh, I know I can be a little...heavy with expository dialogue/thoughts. I plead guilty.
There will not be a chapter of this size for a long, long time (if ever). The ultimate climax of the entire story might be a mega-long one, but the average chapter should be much smaller (like 6000-12000 words), with the occasional long one (20000-30000) for really, really important events (like arc climaxes, or really long sexings, rofl). I knew this chapter would be long when I started it, but I intended for it to be another 30k ordeal...but it ended up exploding, lol, and I'll avoid that happening again in the future, both for simplicity and so I can update more frequently...
The chapter with Slash's family is one I've thought about for a very long time, and it'll include a lot more than mating bond tensions. Slash's father was a trainer, too, so there will be a myriad of questions about Slash's career and adventures, especially about the adventures that nearly killed him. I won't spoil anything about that one, heh.
I like reviews like this---it's concrit and thus exactly what I want. I mean, I don't mind the overflowing praise, but I gotta have concrit feedback so I can keep in form, lol. I'll try to cut on the non-narrator exposition and the like in future chapters, heh. The next chapter (currently untitled) should be out in September, and feature the characters after having one month to recover from their injuries, and might deal with Kiako's aforementioned brooding, although I might save that for a separate chapter.
Imasuky Lomae---Partially, yes. Kiako refuses to be a trainer who hides behind his Pokemon, but he also doesn't want his friends to die. And his Pokemon are his friends, and are perhaps the only real friends he has. Few beings can call Kiako an idiot and live to tell about it...
It's close to the end, especially in terms of sheer length, lol. There will be like, four or five more chapters (rough estimate, don't quote me on that), but none will be nearly this long. I'm hoping very much to have chapter 30 out in September, and 31 and 32 before October's done. I'm HOPING.
And...yeah...I took those off my "goals for this year" (and changed it to "goals for the nearish future") after realizing just how impossible that goal is, lol. I was hoping no one would notice... XD
Satoku---That's alright. I did take a long time, after all.
The issue of Katarina's reaction has been brought up in a couple e-mails and a livejournal post; I'll try to explain it on AFF so I don't gotta say it a bunch of times. Everyone has different reactions to being raped---some indeed become near-catatonic (some to the point of being a milder version of Caska from Berserk, even). Some do the stereotypical (and tragic, when it happens) shaking/crying/showering repeatedly to clean themselves deal. Some try to act like it never happened. There's no one 'correct' reaction, and it's kind of depressing to see how few reactions are shown in the media, because there's a huuuuge spectrum for it. My portrayal of Katarina is based off of my only experience with such a monstrosity---a friend of mine who went through it---and thus the only portrayal I felt comfortable showing, for fear of "getting something wrong". The initial shock and "muteness" was what I saw happen in my friend---an absolute refusal to talk to anyone, and getting upset when anyone persisted in trying to comfort her. I had Katarina cling to Flannery (and Psymakio to a far lesser extent) because, again in my personal experience, my friend clung to a female friend she was much less close to than myself, her best friend (I later learned that she felt uncomfortable around me because I'm a guy, regardless of how close we were). As for her seemingly quick recovery, Katarina was reminded of her duty and thus clung to it; my friend was mostly shaken out of the "shock stage" when constantly reminded of (and this may sound funny) her multitude of pets, which her family had taken care of while she was still refusing to leave her room. It didn't matter so much what it was---it was that it gave her something to focus on and take her mind off of it enough to recover gradually. Katarina was reminded of the urgency of the situation and her position (at Slash's urging; he tried what worked when his cousin was raped, as will be mentioned later), and she focused everything on that. The problem, of course, is that unlike my friend, who was able to gradually heal while engaging in activity, Katarina will reach Mauville, without her position, and thus will be forced to confront it. It's an extrapolation, but it's a fairly reasonable response based on what I witnessed, and the most difficult parts of her recovery are yet to come.
As for the reaction of the Pokemon, Blaziken would indeed have thorough knowledge of such things---as the Kaishakunin of a Gym Leader, who is the closest thing cities have to a mayor, he would be well acquainted with human affairs due to being near Flannery, including crime. Manectric was confused by what he saw, but he's not stupid; he and Blaziken heard what was happening (and the unmistakable sounds of pain and fear; couple this with Manectric's excellent sense of smell) and broke in to find it going on. He saw a little girl bleeding and being attacked by their enemies, and even one with no prior knowledge of rape would be shaken by the sight of someone in so much pain and shock. Confused, he left the building and Growlithe (who, as Slash's first Pokemon and original "Kaishakunin", would know all that Slash did) had to talk to him for a while to get him to come back in.
Pokemon who reproduce in "normal" ways all have mates; there may be a wide variety of mating processes, but they all come down to "Pokemon loving each other". To see the exact opposite of that, coupled with such violence and her fear...they'd figure it out easily enough.
As for Kiako, Aggron said it best---he never could decide on what he wants. Kiako's backstory is, so far, not yet shown, but I can say this much without spoiling anything major...Kiako grew up with his Pokemon as his only real friends, and he treats them as such. They're nakama, all working for the same goal---to put Kiako in power. However, while he can be caring toward his team, he also needs to appear ruthless and commanding (both to others and to himself), and thus he occasionally acts like kind of a dick, even when he's doing something honorable (like refusing to let Aggron get killed for his sake). It's pride, really. He can be "nice", but even when he is, he does it in a dickish way because he has a strong need to appear cold and ruthless. He would have acted differently if they had been alone and facing, say, a wild Pokemon, but surrounded by enemies? Very different story.
Kiako's backstory will be explained relatively soon. His origin was hinted at in one of the plotmails I sent out a long time ago...speaking of which, I need to make more of those...
Heh, I know I can be a little...heavy with expository dialogue/thoughts. I plead guilty.
There will not be a chapter of this size for a long, long time (if ever). The ultimate climax of the entire story might be a mega-long one, but the average chapter should be much smaller (like 6000-12000 words), with the occasional long one (20000-30000) for really, really important events (like arc climaxes, or really long sexings, rofl). I knew this chapter would be long when I started it, but I intended for it to be another 30k ordeal...but it ended up exploding, lol, and I'll avoid that happening again in the future, both for simplicity and so I can update more frequently...
The chapter with Slash's family is one I've thought about for a very long time, and it'll include a lot more than mating bond tensions. Slash's father was a trainer, too, so there will be a myriad of questions about Slash's career and adventures, especially about the adventures that nearly killed him. I won't spoil anything about that one, heh.
I like reviews like this---it's concrit and thus exactly what I want. I mean, I don't mind the overflowing praise, but I gotta have concrit feedback so I can keep in form, lol. I'll try to cut on the non-narrator exposition and the like in future chapters, heh. The next chapter (currently untitled) should be out in September, and feature the characters after having one month to recover from their injuries, and might deal with Kiako's aforementioned brooding, although I might save that for a separate chapter.
Imasuky Lomae---Partially, yes. Kiako refuses to be a trainer who hides behind his Pokemon, but he also doesn't want his friends to die. And his Pokemon are his friends, and are perhaps the only real friends he has. Few beings can call Kiako an idiot and live to tell about it...
schedule
August 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
[Oh I hate you, AFF. I hate you so much. Let's type this whole review out again.]
[And again, goddamn crlf shenannigans]
I actually saw the chapter go up! I was using your page as a link to Pokemon>General, and between me clicking the link and the page loading, you'd updated.
Also, Sinners snags another milestone for me. It was already the first fanfiction I ever read, and the longest I've been following an independant story. It now also holds the title of the longest single update in any fanfiction I've come accross.
Not that I'm saying the quantity outstrips the quality - far from it.
The events of this chapter were amazing, and told so well that I'm pretty sure I could draw a map of the terrain covered and mark out each major happening.
Slash's team getting some focus was nice. With all the corrupt gods and hourglasses and internal battles of late, they haven't really had a chance to be much more than bodyguards. Seeing them battle on their own merit and getting reminded of their personalities was cool.
Kiako... it's like a false bottom has fallen out of his character, revealing a whole new level of depth. It'll be interesting to see where, if anywhere, he goes from here. I doubt a mere city-destroying explosion will be enough to finish him off, though. I also noticed something odd (though it was probably supposed to be obvious and I'm just slow). If Quiero is pronounced "Ki-er-o" and Miyako is pronounced "Me-yah-ko", is Kiako a marriage of the two names? I could make some mostly-uneducated guesses at what, if anything, that would mean, but I think it would be much too early to do so.
I was a bit saddened to see Flannery's Torkoal die, but I think everyone saw it coming. Somebody had to lose a teammate in this battle, and the young taking up the mantle of the old is an obvious theme in this tale. I would've liked to have his final battle with the Drapion detailed, but as it was I actually entertained a scene in which they just swap stories as they fade away. They seemed to have a grudging respect for each other after the battle, and the Drapion is clearly less cruel than it appeared, allowing Torkoal to talk with Magcargo uninterrupted.
Aggron taking the blow for Kiako was awesome. It is refreshing to see antagonists with Pokemon that actually support their cause, rather than the usual "they are evil and their Pokemon are slaves" take on things.
The finale with Rayquaza annihilating the ash and flying off into the sunset was just awesome. It felt like it could've been the end of one of the canonical movies to me, and that really reinforced the authenticity of the whole chapter.
As always, I can't wait for the next update (:
[And again, goddamn crlf shenannigans]
I actually saw the chapter go up! I was using your page as a link to Pokemon>General, and between me clicking the link and the page loading, you'd updated.
Also, Sinners snags another milestone for me. It was already the first fanfiction I ever read, and the longest I've been following an independant story. It now also holds the title of the longest single update in any fanfiction I've come accross.
Not that I'm saying the quantity outstrips the quality - far from it.
The events of this chapter were amazing, and told so well that I'm pretty sure I could draw a map of the terrain covered and mark out each major happening.
Slash's team getting some focus was nice. With all the corrupt gods and hourglasses and internal battles of late, they haven't really had a chance to be much more than bodyguards. Seeing them battle on their own merit and getting reminded of their personalities was cool.
Kiako... it's like a false bottom has fallen out of his character, revealing a whole new level of depth. It'll be interesting to see where, if anywhere, he goes from here. I doubt a mere city-destroying explosion will be enough to finish him off, though. I also noticed something odd (though it was probably supposed to be obvious and I'm just slow). If Quiero is pronounced "Ki-er-o" and Miyako is pronounced "Me-yah-ko", is Kiako a marriage of the two names? I could make some mostly-uneducated guesses at what, if anything, that would mean, but I think it would be much too early to do so.
I was a bit saddened to see Flannery's Torkoal die, but I think everyone saw it coming. Somebody had to lose a teammate in this battle, and the young taking up the mantle of the old is an obvious theme in this tale. I would've liked to have his final battle with the Drapion detailed, but as it was I actually entertained a scene in which they just swap stories as they fade away. They seemed to have a grudging respect for each other after the battle, and the Drapion is clearly less cruel than it appeared, allowing Torkoal to talk with Magcargo uninterrupted.
Aggron taking the blow for Kiako was awesome. It is refreshing to see antagonists with Pokemon that actually support their cause, rather than the usual "they are evil and their Pokemon are slaves" take on things.
The finale with Rayquaza annihilating the ash and flying off into the sunset was just awesome. It felt like it could've been the end of one of the canonical movies to me, and that really reinforced the authenticity of the whole chapter.
As always, I can't wait for the next update (:
schedule
August 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You evil, terrible, unbelivably awsome person you. You are evil for making us wait that long, terrible for making the chapter that long and unbelievably awsome for the...i dint even know a word to describe it, perfection is the closest i acn come to descrbing the climax of all of what you have written into the amazing series, turning what was a short story hardly worth mentioning into an epic saga the likes of which i have never read before. There are still some things like the aftermath that you must mention and if you do what some authors do and end it here, putting mentioms of what happens in the next arc, i will begin to dislike you with great intensity but if you dont do that, i believe you can take a well deserved break...after you write that last chapter i mentioned.
schedule
August 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I've just spent the last two hours reading this monstrous chapter that we've been so eagerly waiting for. And I must say Slash, the wait was well worth it. This latest chapter was a emotional roller coaster ride, the suspense, the drama, the action and the fantastic conclusion... to say it was perfect is an understatement. I haven't read anything that has grabbed me as fully as this story has. It grabs you, moves you, makes you think/feel things you haven't felt in far too long. I applaud you and all involved in the making of this installment, the result was definately greater than the sum of its parts.
I (along with many other avid fans I'm sure) await the next installment to this great work.
Keep it true Slash
~KyronNost
I (along with many other avid fans I'm sure) await the next installment to this great work.
Keep it true Slash
~KyronNost