rate_review Reviews

Nice story, I really like this one. It was a nice read. The only thing I can suggest is when you change POV it would be easier to read if there was some kind of divider between the changes (like --------- or ~!~!~ or something like that), just so the reader knows when who we are reading as. It makes the story flow even better when you do.

It wasn't bad for your first fic. The story was consistent and only a bit OOC. A word of advice: punctuation. Seriously. They are called periods and commas. Get rid of your run-ons and keep writing!