rate_review Reviews

awdsome, awsome to the max. that was well done. can't wait to read more. will you switch the boy the other way. shinji x hikari, toji x rei, kensuke x auska. if not that was stilla fucking sweet story. well write on my wayward author

Overall, a good 'side' to your main fic. Stylistic issues aside, this fic is sound, if still allowing for some improvements. Of the three pairings up so far, your favorite is (not surprisingly) the best, though that isn't to say the other two pairings aren't working on their own. Remember, practice makes perfect, and I am looking forward to more.

The first chapter wasn't bad, though it wasn't as good as I was hoping. The single biggest problem, in my opinion, is an annoying tendency to slip periodically into present tense. For instance: "Asuka’s red sundress matched Rei’s blue one; plans are afoot." Two tenses in one sentence.