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August 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Lots of potential in the pairing and setting, but very rough writing. Find some different descriptors for brown besides chocolate, and spell check for missing words, parts of it made no sense because of missing words.
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December 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
ooooo, I'm liking this already. I just love this pairing. XD All I can say is, this is looking pretty interesting, and I'm looking forward to reading more. ^^
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April 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting I think you should keep going.