rate_review Reviews

*snorts* Well, okay, wow. Yeah, we'll go with wow. Umm, just a bit of grammar to get it out of the way, at one point Conrad says "I can't..." then trails off into third person thought. aka He can't. Can't believe what he is seeing. Well, since it isn't actual THOUGH aka [i]I can't... can't believe what I'm seeing[/i] then it should still be in third person PAST tense. "I can't..." Conrad shook his head. He couldn't. Couldn't believe what he was seeing. I'm also not entirely clear about whose idea it was to have them screw in the garden for Conrad's benefit. I mean, it clearly sounds like it was Conrad's, from the way Yozak was talking, but if so then there is a whole internal monologue in the first scene that makes no sense at all. And not that I don't forgive plot hole in smut, but I still can't quite wrap my mind around HOW they got Gwendal to agree to it in the first place.

All that being said, it was still very vividly written and a very interesting setup. I loved how Conrad started out all freaked out but got more and more drawn in despite himself. Quite lovely.

I like this a lot! It's a fun piece, sexy of course, but you can feel the flow of affection that makes it complete. I like the voyeuristic feel to the first part, that illicit thrill.

Ah the twist ending.

Conrad and Yosak sure are naughty

Surprisingly entertaining.