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September 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh, that was so much fun ^.^ Fai is so bad lol. I'd love it if you continued this, but I won't threaten to kill you if you don't. Wonderful job with Kurogane.
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July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh, your grammar is WONDERFUL. I haven't seen a fanfiction writer with such excellent grammar in a long time. Perfect.
Also, the story was quite nice, very in character. Funny, with one of my two favorite pairings EVER, and kissing! I love kissing, often more than smut, as long as it's well-written, and it was well-written here. Also, it's nice to see KuroFai every once in a while that isn't depressingly angsty, even though that's what everyone wants to write since Tsubasa became one giant angstfest. But yes, I liked it quite a lot.
You said to mention mistakes, and I only saw one minor typo: "One elegant eyebrow rose, and Kurogane could have sworn he say a mischievous look move across the blonde man’s face in a flash before it was replaced by what seemed to be genuine confusion." "Say" should be "saw". ^.^
Also, the story was quite nice, very in character. Funny, with one of my two favorite pairings EVER, and kissing! I love kissing, often more than smut, as long as it's well-written, and it was well-written here. Also, it's nice to see KuroFai every once in a while that isn't depressingly angsty, even though that's what everyone wants to write since Tsubasa became one giant angstfest. But yes, I liked it quite a lot.
You said to mention mistakes, and I only saw one minor typo: "One elegant eyebrow rose, and Kurogane could have sworn he say a mischievous look move across the blonde man’s face in a flash before it was replaced by what seemed to be genuine confusion." "Say" should be "saw". ^.^