rate_review Reviews

Okay, review time!
Your story has a good pace. Its engaging and a pleasure to read.
It also had that pokemon atmosphere, and I liked the characters. I think you got Prof. Oak down pat as well.
Now for the bad:
I winced at the moment when that cliff crumbled, and not in a good way. Its just too... improbable, and it ruined the mood. At least, in the way it was written. This is only my impression, however.
You need to work on describing a bit more scenery too, as well as the smells and the temperature. Just in passing, a quick mention. All of this draws the reader in - and that is the most important thing to do.

my oly grope os the mah,s in her speech adn thoughts. makes me feel like im reading some janky hillbilly story. but thats just be being uber critical
otherwise seems good to me

Good for a first chapter. It took me quite a bit to get used to the way Cici talks, though. I'll be sure to read the next chapter when it comes up.

It's a decent story. It's very hard to write an accent like that, but you seem to have a good grasp of it. It will be interesting as it develops.
However, I'm confused as to why Cici is speaking in a thick hick accent. Usually speech patterns are most influenced by how a parent speaks. It doesn't seem logical that Cici would use a hick accent while her dad doesn't.

@Shika T

Thanks for reading! Yes, Cici's accent is a touch difficult to understand, but it's essentially her defining trait. Her accent will become less thick as time goes on, due to being around different new folks. Keep watching, and hopefully, I'll be able to keep everyone entertained. :3

@quamp
Thanks much for reading! As for why Cici's got such a thick accent while her father doesn't, that's easy. He worked to get rid of his accent, as proper annunciation was called for in his work space. If he were to be in the spotlight a bit longer, it'd show through. As for Cici, as I mentioned, her accent will lessen over time, but it's pretty much who she is: Southern and sassy.