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June 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
in chapter 8 it sounds like tenchi might get amnesia at some point in the story and knowing the cartoon like i do will probably be abducted by a jealous female alien that wants tenchi for herself
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June 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
i keep thinking seina will go back in time to see the wedding of tenchi and the girl he's gonna marry. but then wouldn't that cause ripples in the space time continuium like washu would say
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June 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
was'nt sakura the name of that girl that tenchi likes in tenchi in tokyo that was being controlled at one point by the female alien that wants tenchi to herself? but i guess i should read the whole thing to find out who you mean in your story but it also reminds me of the second or third tenchi movie all in all i think it's good so far.
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June 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
something seems fishy about those three girls meaning the two blonds and brunette
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June 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
more more more i want to read more please
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October 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love it!!!! They are just too cute together!!! I'm glad people love Ryoko as much as I do. Can't wait for the next chapter. :)
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September 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is an AWESOME story and i'm looking VERY FORWARD to reading the next chapter. (^_^)
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August 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is a GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! story, i'm very rager to read the next chapter
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July 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is a pretty good fic. I'll do this + and - style.
++ Tenchi/Ryoko (yes, 2 pluses)
- Awkward dialogue, some sentences are too long and open, as if they were talking like robots that had absolutely no fear of being open. I know you're writing them as being 'older and more mature', but I think you took it too far.
+ V. Good, not perfect, but V. Good grammar, few mistakes, hard to notice
- Ayeka's over-the-top animosity towards Ryoko, they're supposed to be friends outside of their rivalry, is this a bashing fic? Isn't that supposed to be mentioned in the fic description? I dunno. Also, I found it odd that not a single sentence was given on Ayeka's reaction to Tenchi's angry and tactless confession. Did you plan to have it in the next chapter or something?
Final note, any plans on adding in some action to this story? Kagato's ressurection as a giant rampaging demon or somethin? I dunno.
Hope you update
Chiao
++ Tenchi/Ryoko (yes, 2 pluses)
- Awkward dialogue, some sentences are too long and open, as if they were talking like robots that had absolutely no fear of being open. I know you're writing them as being 'older and more mature', but I think you took it too far.
+ V. Good, not perfect, but V. Good grammar, few mistakes, hard to notice
- Ayeka's over-the-top animosity towards Ryoko, they're supposed to be friends outside of their rivalry, is this a bashing fic? Isn't that supposed to be mentioned in the fic description? I dunno. Also, I found it odd that not a single sentence was given on Ayeka's reaction to Tenchi's angry and tactless confession. Did you plan to have it in the next chapter or something?
Final note, any plans on adding in some action to this story? Kagato's ressurection as a giant rampaging demon or somethin? I dunno.
Hope you update
Chiao