rate_review Reviews

I absolutely enjoyed this fanfic. It was sexy, skillfully written with obvious affection for the characters, and contained a perfect amount of porn! The last scene was particularly gratifying. Call me a pervert, but I require passionate (and highly detailed) anal sex followed by intense orgasm in my adult fanfics, or else I feel totally unsatisfied at the end. And I was not disappointed by this story.

However, I totally cringed when I read Riki's 'no shit Sherlock' line to Iason. I was transported out of the moment instantly, thinking distractedly 'why did he just use a phrase no one in Amoi, not to mention a guy in bed hoping to have sex with anyone in earshot, would ever say?' Do they somehow have knowledge of this 19th century fictional detective from Earth, to the point of having adopted this lame as hell expression?? It took me about 20 more lines of reading before I got back into the mood of the story and began enjoying it again.

Less of a distraction, but a distraction none the less, was the recurrent use of the phrase 'said male'. It sounds too much like a courtroom transcription, or a police report.

Other than those two issues, I thought it was a beautiful, extremely arousing story. :-)

I feel bad for what happened to Riki, but hey what an apology he GOT!!!!! Holy shit that was HOT!!!!!! If I could get that as an I'm sorry, Iason you can punish me anytime. *smiles*