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February 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Enjoyed it? I LOVED it! I think the best part of this whole chapter was the way you connected the beginning to the end. Mello holds a strange fascination for me, I think because I am never sure if he is there to help or just emotionally torture Matt (and Near, in some cases)...or maybe a bit of both... I assume that this will be the last time Matt sees him, considering the deal he made with Near...? I'm interested to read how Matt will react to that, considering he has conflicting emotions on whether he wants Mello to leave him alone or not.
I loved Near's response to whether he liked the safe-house. "More than suitable." *snickers* It's what I love the most about how you write him - even if he does show some sort of emotion, the things that come out of his mouth always seem so...impassive. I know he doesn't mean it that way, but it's still funny and cute. I also thought the scene with the hiking gear was hilarious. The way he tried the boot on and then immediately chucked it had me in a fit of giggles. And then, when I read that people were laughing and shouting at the bridge, I just knew it was bungee jumpers - and I started laughing all over again. Because Near? Bungee jumping? Hahaha! It's great, I loved it, and I think that Matt had it right - Mello would totally want him to do it, if for no other reason than to scare the crap out of him, maybe...which I think constitutes "living" in some weird, twisted way. I hope the next chapter has them jumping because I'm not only looking forward to Near's reaction, but Matt's, as well. This is just as much of a psychological and emotional "leap" for him.
You're totally right about this circular inspiration - and this chapter, thick with lovely description, was just more fodder for the muse. I'm definitely going to have to see about doing Matt in that black shirt (sexy! Haha). I wanted to tell you that I was thinking the same thing about Matt being impressed by Near's...ferocity. I definitely think Near will continue to surprise Matt (and probably vice-versa) throughout this story.
Oh, and the citrus...yeah, that was very hot. With the looks that Matt gives Near, I'm not really sure how the latter doesn't just melt into a puddle of goo on the spot - I know I certainly would. I was a little concerned at the beginning of the chapter when Matt said he'd give up even Near for Mello (kinda irked me a bit, I'll admit). And, while I understand that a part of Matt's heart will always belong to Mello, it's nice to see that Near definitely gets to him.
Love, love, love it!
~cu-kid
I loved Near's response to whether he liked the safe-house. "More than suitable." *snickers* It's what I love the most about how you write him - even if he does show some sort of emotion, the things that come out of his mouth always seem so...impassive. I know he doesn't mean it that way, but it's still funny and cute. I also thought the scene with the hiking gear was hilarious. The way he tried the boot on and then immediately chucked it had me in a fit of giggles. And then, when I read that people were laughing and shouting at the bridge, I just knew it was bungee jumpers - and I started laughing all over again. Because Near? Bungee jumping? Hahaha! It's great, I loved it, and I think that Matt had it right - Mello would totally want him to do it, if for no other reason than to scare the crap out of him, maybe...which I think constitutes "living" in some weird, twisted way. I hope the next chapter has them jumping because I'm not only looking forward to Near's reaction, but Matt's, as well. This is just as much of a psychological and emotional "leap" for him.
You're totally right about this circular inspiration - and this chapter, thick with lovely description, was just more fodder for the muse. I'm definitely going to have to see about doing Matt in that black shirt (sexy! Haha). I wanted to tell you that I was thinking the same thing about Matt being impressed by Near's...ferocity. I definitely think Near will continue to surprise Matt (and probably vice-versa) throughout this story.
Oh, and the citrus...yeah, that was very hot. With the looks that Matt gives Near, I'm not really sure how the latter doesn't just melt into a puddle of goo on the spot - I know I certainly would. I was a little concerned at the beginning of the chapter when Matt said he'd give up even Near for Mello (kinda irked me a bit, I'll admit). And, while I understand that a part of Matt's heart will always belong to Mello, it's nice to see that Near definitely gets to him.
Love, love, love it!
~cu-kid
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February 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Sorry for not reviewing the last chapter. Life just has bad timing. But I loved both chapters, especially this one, just because we got to know more about Matt. And I laughed myself silly when Matt told Near that what they did was called dry humping; that was priceless! I could picture the utter shock on Nears face and I couldn't stop laughing. My boyfriend thought I was crazy, just laughing at supposedly nothing. Oh well! I really liked the ending section too; with Mello and the angel making an agreement. I liked it, basically because you didn't say who the angel was exactly, but I think it was Near. So, it'll be interesting to see where this goes from here.
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February 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Look at me go with missing the update...sheesh :\
I really loved this chapter. You avoided the fluff quite well, I think, but it was still a warm chapter. I'm a fan of chapters where characters get a one on one, get a chance to kind of sort a few things out between them - although, with these two, it feels like pulling teeth sometimes ;) It was kinda funny how excited I was to learn all those things about Matt - favorite color (was I reading too much into that "Blue...at the moment" comment, or was that a totally sweet thing he said?), what happened to his family (that was intense and wonderfully full of emotion). I loved that Near told Matt that he didn't mind his scars. I kinda chuckled when he pointed out that it wouldn't matter if Matt wore short sleeves because people stared at him regardless. Their clash at the end was hot and tense and left me nearly bursting - you are definitely doing it right. I loved it!
I have to admit that usually I'm not a huge fan of Mello...or maybe I'm just not a fan of the way most people write him. But the end of this chapter...I think I re-read it two or three times. I loved that it was from Mello's POV. I don't think I've said this before (or I might have...I sort of feel like I become a broken record when I review because mostly all I can think of is, "OMG Ilovedit!"), but I look forward to the conversations with Mello, for a few reasons. One, I think it's fun trying to figure out which one of the two he's talking to (and, since you are such a master at capturing these character's idiosyncrasies, it's never too difficult). Also, I love the insight he brings, whether it be biased or not. I agree with you - each of these characters (even the ones that aren't necessarily main characters, like Danny-boy), have their own agenda, and it's amazing to me to read how each of them tries to go about fulfilling it. The last scene of this chapter was intriguing. I'm curious to find out what Matt will do when/if he realizes Mello isn't coming back to him. I wonder if Near will ever tell Matt that he sees and has spoken to Mello.
Oh, Carey. Omg, she is, hands down, the best when it comes to intrigue! Or anything, really (although, I must say that I just couldn't get into the Godslayer series...but I might try again...). Love her. And you're welcome again for the fanart (oh, and I know I said somewhere - maybe on dA - that I was going to do Near in the AC/DC shirt...and I did do a rough sketch, but I had mostly been kidding. But...tch...you had to go and put him in that shirt again! :) So, the roughly colored pic is posted at dA...).
As always, I loved this chapter. I thought it was a nice sort of interlude for the characters (and the readers). And I'm looking forward to reading what happens next!
~cu-kid
I really loved this chapter. You avoided the fluff quite well, I think, but it was still a warm chapter. I'm a fan of chapters where characters get a one on one, get a chance to kind of sort a few things out between them - although, with these two, it feels like pulling teeth sometimes ;) It was kinda funny how excited I was to learn all those things about Matt - favorite color (was I reading too much into that "Blue...at the moment" comment, or was that a totally sweet thing he said?), what happened to his family (that was intense and wonderfully full of emotion). I loved that Near told Matt that he didn't mind his scars. I kinda chuckled when he pointed out that it wouldn't matter if Matt wore short sleeves because people stared at him regardless. Their clash at the end was hot and tense and left me nearly bursting - you are definitely doing it right. I loved it!
I have to admit that usually I'm not a huge fan of Mello...or maybe I'm just not a fan of the way most people write him. But the end of this chapter...I think I re-read it two or three times. I loved that it was from Mello's POV. I don't think I've said this before (or I might have...I sort of feel like I become a broken record when I review because mostly all I can think of is, "OMG Ilovedit!"), but I look forward to the conversations with Mello, for a few reasons. One, I think it's fun trying to figure out which one of the two he's talking to (and, since you are such a master at capturing these character's idiosyncrasies, it's never too difficult). Also, I love the insight he brings, whether it be biased or not. I agree with you - each of these characters (even the ones that aren't necessarily main characters, like Danny-boy), have their own agenda, and it's amazing to me to read how each of them tries to go about fulfilling it. The last scene of this chapter was intriguing. I'm curious to find out what Matt will do when/if he realizes Mello isn't coming back to him. I wonder if Near will ever tell Matt that he sees and has spoken to Mello.
Oh, Carey. Omg, she is, hands down, the best when it comes to intrigue! Or anything, really (although, I must say that I just couldn't get into the Godslayer series...but I might try again...). Love her. And you're welcome again for the fanart (oh, and I know I said somewhere - maybe on dA - that I was going to do Near in the AC/DC shirt...and I did do a rough sketch, but I had mostly been kidding. But...tch...you had to go and put him in that shirt again! :) So, the roughly colored pic is posted at dA...).
As always, I loved this chapter. I thought it was a nice sort of interlude for the characters (and the readers). And I'm looking forward to reading what happens next!
~cu-kid
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February 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
*happy sigh* Wonderful chapter, yet again. I always keep your story open as a tab on my browser so I can check each morning. *hemhem* The very last section, between Mello and Near was gorgeously written - otherwordly but not "fantasy", something about it was grounded in reality you just know it's more than a silly dream. Lovely Tennessee Williams "glass menagerie", it really fits. Actually now that I think about it everything in this story really parallels well to the central ideas in the glass menagerie; impossibility of 'true' escape, difficulty accepting reality and of course, the unrelenting power of memories. I like that Matt is afraid of breaking Near ; not mentally or anything, just by trying to make someone so different try and be so normal, ie the normalicy of having a relationship with him. It seems that no matter what he does he's going to do something awful, either he breaks him or (as he chose in this chapter) he abandons it, and runs away.
I can't wait to see the next update, I want to see what Near does with his deal and Mello. I was reading it hoping Near could just walk away from Mello and all his jealousy but of course Near never could really ignore Mello. You can't really ignore a bonfire creeping closer every moment of everyday, and it seems like Mello can't really let either of them go. Goodness I can't wait to see what happens next - the places they go to are thoughtfully described and very personal, always nice to see.
Lovely work~
I can't wait to see the next update, I want to see what Near does with his deal and Mello. I was reading it hoping Near could just walk away from Mello and all his jealousy but of course Near never could really ignore Mello. You can't really ignore a bonfire creeping closer every moment of everyday, and it seems like Mello can't really let either of them go. Goodness I can't wait to see what happens next - the places they go to are thoughtfully described and very personal, always nice to see.
Lovely work~
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February 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I am that non-review reviewer (arg!)
*sigh* Sorry! I hadn't intended to do this, but I just couldn't help myself...
http://cu-kid.deviantart.com/art/Haunted-111549652
However, this story has done wonders for my artistic muse, so thank you again :)
*sigh* Sorry! I hadn't intended to do this, but I just couldn't help myself...
http://cu-kid.deviantart.com/art/Haunted-111549652
However, this story has done wonders for my artistic muse, so thank you again :)
schedule
January 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh. My. Gods!
This chapter...this chapter was just...I don't even know. All adjectives that I could possibly use just aren't good enough.
When I started poking around DN fanfiction, I mostly read LxLight fics with a little MattxMello and a few other pairings here and there. But this story makes me a die-hard MattxNear fan - although, to tell you the truth, I can't really imagine any other storyline that would be so insanely solid and well-thought out. All these little pieces that you have slowly coming together...fantastic. I'm not entirely sure I followed all the technical aspects of it (I'm not very good at understanding intrigue sometimes...), so I'll probably have to go back a re-read the sections with Halle, Rester, and co.
The beginning of this chapter totally did it for me. I loved Matt standing in the rain, keeping an eye on Near, patiently waiting. That was just so...so awww! I think I may have enjoyed that more than the citrus at the end of the chapter (well...maybe not...but I did love it).
When Mello first appeared, I kinda laughed at his "Burn" line. But I have to admit to being a little frustrated with him for a while and, by the end of this chapter, I just wanted to scream at him...or scream at someone. Because I wanted Near to tell Matt that he refused to be a poor, second-rate Mello, I wanted Matt to tell Mello to go to hell, and I wanted Mello to stop being such a goddamn girl - that is, manipulating Matt and making him feel guilty for being attracted to Near. Actually, he's worse than a girl because he's dead and still doing all that stuff. I was so relieved when Matt told him to butt out.
I'll tell you the other thing that made me nearly scream was the way you sectioned this chapter. Clever, but holy crap! I nearly died at the end of the first section with Near asking Matt why he kissed him (probably another reason I didn't completely comprehend the intrigue stuff...I might have skimmed a wee bit...whups). And then you did it again! Oh my freakin' god, really?! I love unresolved tension, I really do, but it was so thick in this chapter it was nearly unbearable. I was just happy that there was something done about it, because if you had stopped the chapter before that, I think I would have just come completely unglued! Fan-freakin'-tastic - loved it!
The art helped you? Really?! Muwhahaha! That was my evil genius master plan the whole time, to get you to update! (...but is it really evil if another brilliant chapter gets posted because of it...? Hrm...) Does that mean if I can crank out another one, it'll happen again? Lol...no, I'm joking. Seriously, though, I'm super glad you liked it - without this story, it never would have come to life. Thanks for the wonderful story and the chapter dedication!
~cu-kid
This chapter...this chapter was just...I don't even know. All adjectives that I could possibly use just aren't good enough.
When I started poking around DN fanfiction, I mostly read LxLight fics with a little MattxMello and a few other pairings here and there. But this story makes me a die-hard MattxNear fan - although, to tell you the truth, I can't really imagine any other storyline that would be so insanely solid and well-thought out. All these little pieces that you have slowly coming together...fantastic. I'm not entirely sure I followed all the technical aspects of it (I'm not very good at understanding intrigue sometimes...), so I'll probably have to go back a re-read the sections with Halle, Rester, and co.
The beginning of this chapter totally did it for me. I loved Matt standing in the rain, keeping an eye on Near, patiently waiting. That was just so...so awww! I think I may have enjoyed that more than the citrus at the end of the chapter (well...maybe not...but I did love it).
When Mello first appeared, I kinda laughed at his "Burn" line. But I have to admit to being a little frustrated with him for a while and, by the end of this chapter, I just wanted to scream at him...or scream at someone. Because I wanted Near to tell Matt that he refused to be a poor, second-rate Mello, I wanted Matt to tell Mello to go to hell, and I wanted Mello to stop being such a goddamn girl - that is, manipulating Matt and making him feel guilty for being attracted to Near. Actually, he's worse than a girl because he's dead and still doing all that stuff. I was so relieved when Matt told him to butt out.
I'll tell you the other thing that made me nearly scream was the way you sectioned this chapter. Clever, but holy crap! I nearly died at the end of the first section with Near asking Matt why he kissed him (probably another reason I didn't completely comprehend the intrigue stuff...I might have skimmed a wee bit...whups). And then you did it again! Oh my freakin' god, really?! I love unresolved tension, I really do, but it was so thick in this chapter it was nearly unbearable. I was just happy that there was something done about it, because if you had stopped the chapter before that, I think I would have just come completely unglued! Fan-freakin'-tastic - loved it!
The art helped you? Really?! Muwhahaha! That was my evil genius master plan the whole time, to get you to update! (...but is it really evil if another brilliant chapter gets posted because of it...? Hrm...) Does that mean if I can crank out another one, it'll happen again? Lol...no, I'm joking. Seriously, though, I'm super glad you liked it - without this story, it never would have come to life. Thanks for the wonderful story and the chapter dedication!
~cu-kid
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January 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I hate leaving non-review reviews, but I couldn't think of another way to contact you...
I wanted to let you know I've recently posted a piece on deviantART based on your story. It can be found here: http://cu-kid.deviantart.com/art/Scattering-Ashes-109655509
Thanks for the inspiration :)
~cu-kid
I wanted to let you know I've recently posted a piece on deviantART based on your story. It can be found here: http://cu-kid.deviantart.com/art/Scattering-Ashes-109655509
Thanks for the inspiration :)
~cu-kid
schedule
January 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really liked this chapter! Although it made me cry at the section with Hani, being beaten and dying. That was just sad, but it brought out Nears anger. I can't wait to see how you make him act from here. His anger has come loose because he thinks that everything happening is because of him. I'm just looking forward to how he acts in later chapters. ^^
I love how Matt described Mello. That entire section of the chapter made me smile and go aww. Almost a fangirl squeal...not quite though, but close. XD
Mello is a complicated character! I thought we were going to get more information out of him. And we did...it was just enough to leave us hanging, screaming what else!? I was half expecting Mello to tell us either who was trying to kill Near or who was behind the murders in Japan...but I should have known better. I'll continue to trust that you, although wary (just a little. many curves can still come out of nowhere.). The uncertainty of the story will keep me right here and waiting for more. ^^
L showing up in California...it would be interesting, just for a surprise to Near. But, it's not needed at all. Especially if he'll show up some in the sequel.
(in response to Nebo's review...you had it right; I'm a 'her'. XD)
Great chapter, once again. Can't wait for the next one.
I love how Matt described Mello. That entire section of the chapter made me smile and go aww. Almost a fangirl squeal...not quite though, but close. XD
Mello is a complicated character! I thought we were going to get more information out of him. And we did...it was just enough to leave us hanging, screaming what else!? I was half expecting Mello to tell us either who was trying to kill Near or who was behind the murders in Japan...but I should have known better. I'll continue to trust that you, although wary (just a little. many curves can still come out of nowhere.). The uncertainty of the story will keep me right here and waiting for more. ^^
L showing up in California...it would be interesting, just for a surprise to Near. But, it's not needed at all. Especially if he'll show up some in the sequel.
(in response to Nebo's review...you had it right; I'm a 'her'. XD)
Great chapter, once again. Can't wait for the next one.
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January 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Again: I love that T.S. Eliot quote! So perfect for this...
*typing with breakfast banana in mouth before work* Mello seems so freaking cute with the sweats and the hoodie and the ponytail! Melts me totally. I like his argument, too-- that crazy people might be sane to themselves, they just accept a different reality than most people.
Had to wiki Tulpa! What an interesting concept it is...
--Near was just sitting in the bathroom in a towel chatting with Mello?! *drops head on desk and dissolves into giggles* Omg. Seriously, omg. (I loved that discussion though! You are so much damn smarter than me. I like using the geography mapping in space thing as a way to explain Mello's impression on the physical world.)
*reading happily* You have no idea how much it pleases me that I can tell by the dictation and the writing within the paragraphs when it's Near versus Matt-- when the thoughts that come across in the actual text are so clearly them that it can't be the other! I love that. Near just getting make-up applied to him and taking the opportunity to closely analyze Matt is adorable to me, and wonderful.
Also~ love Near in general! You write him so well. I like his logic about why he won't try to comfort Matt in the physical way, and that most of it stems from Matt's total obsession with Mello and a few choice things said while angry. Is the "fierce, hissing thing" that tells Near he's second best his pride, his memory, or actually Mello? Maybe a little of all three?
Maaaaatt, stop listening to Mello when you kiss Near! Jerk.
I like that the sloth thing made Near smile-- it was amusing. *grins* And that Near asked Matt about his Mello. It also amuses me so much that just Matt's expressions say about anything Near needed to know about Mello!
Hmm~ I liked the bus scene, and Near being the buffer for Matt to touch the urn! This comment is going to be really long, isn't it? I'll have to stop soon. Or just post two.
Dude-- do the kuna exist? How the hell did you find that statistic? *laughing* That's amazing.
((*returned after work*)) Aww-- Near actually got upset! I love that that fact gave Matt a "whoa, wtf?" reaction and stopped his arguments. I weirdly love that he got so upset he cried.
*double-takes after glancing at another of your review-responses* You mentioned Deliverance Dane?! *skims 10 again* Omfs, you did! I missed that! Someone else had to catch it! I'm a horrible person! I'm sorry...! I love that you threw the reference in though!
*typing with breakfast banana in mouth before work* Mello seems so freaking cute with the sweats and the hoodie and the ponytail! Melts me totally. I like his argument, too-- that crazy people might be sane to themselves, they just accept a different reality than most people.
Had to wiki Tulpa! What an interesting concept it is...
--Near was just sitting in the bathroom in a towel chatting with Mello?! *drops head on desk and dissolves into giggles* Omg. Seriously, omg. (I loved that discussion though! You are so much damn smarter than me. I like using the geography mapping in space thing as a way to explain Mello's impression on the physical world.)
*reading happily* You have no idea how much it pleases me that I can tell by the dictation and the writing within the paragraphs when it's Near versus Matt-- when the thoughts that come across in the actual text are so clearly them that it can't be the other! I love that. Near just getting make-up applied to him and taking the opportunity to closely analyze Matt is adorable to me, and wonderful.
Also~ love Near in general! You write him so well. I like his logic about why he won't try to comfort Matt in the physical way, and that most of it stems from Matt's total obsession with Mello and a few choice things said while angry. Is the "fierce, hissing thing" that tells Near he's second best his pride, his memory, or actually Mello? Maybe a little of all three?
Maaaaatt, stop listening to Mello when you kiss Near! Jerk.
I like that the sloth thing made Near smile-- it was amusing. *grins* And that Near asked Matt about his Mello. It also amuses me so much that just Matt's expressions say about anything Near needed to know about Mello!
Hmm~ I liked the bus scene, and Near being the buffer for Matt to touch the urn! This comment is going to be really long, isn't it? I'll have to stop soon. Or just post two.
Dude-- do the kuna exist? How the hell did you find that statistic? *laughing* That's amazing.
((*returned after work*)) Aww-- Near actually got upset! I love that that fact gave Matt a "whoa, wtf?" reaction and stopped his arguments. I weirdly love that he got so upset he cried.
*double-takes after glancing at another of your review-responses* You mentioned Deliverance Dane?! *skims 10 again* Omfs, you did! I missed that! Someone else had to catch it! I'm a horrible person! I'm sorry...! I love that you threw the reference in though!
schedule
January 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I nearly came out of my chair when I saw this update - I mean, naturally, I was excited to devour more of your exquisite writing, but it also gave me the excuse I needed to procrastinate that much longer on getting my own stuff written ;)
I forgot to mention in my last review how much I LOVE the idea of Matt being Near's W. I'm not even entirely sure why, at this point, but it just strikes me as so appropriate. And, with the relationship developing between them, I think it adds that extra...something...Poignancy, maybe.
In this chapter, I think I stopped breathing entirely during the whole putting foundation on Near scene. Ohmygod, that was hot! (And, mind you, I rarely 'Ohmygod' anything, soo...;) ) What kills me is that it was so short! (You see, I say that, but, really, I love a slow build like that...even if I do stop breathing :) ) Also, I loved your descriptions in this chapter. Some people describe scenery like it's a list, or just a necessary evil to get out of the way, but you...I don't even know. It was beautiful. You transported me effortlessly to a place I've never been and I could imagine myself getting drenched, the air filled with citrus *sighs* Lovely.
Well! For not knowing people actually had a 'fear of the marketplace,' you certainly pulled it off well! To tell you the truth, the only reason I know that is because phobias fascinate me (did you know there's a fear of thinking?! Craziness...). I'm glad I could, in some small way, help!
I enjoyed every bit of this update! Can't wait for more!
~cu-kid
I forgot to mention in my last review how much I LOVE the idea of Matt being Near's W. I'm not even entirely sure why, at this point, but it just strikes me as so appropriate. And, with the relationship developing between them, I think it adds that extra...something...Poignancy, maybe.
In this chapter, I think I stopped breathing entirely during the whole putting foundation on Near scene. Ohmygod, that was hot! (And, mind you, I rarely 'Ohmygod' anything, soo...;) ) What kills me is that it was so short! (You see, I say that, but, really, I love a slow build like that...even if I do stop breathing :) ) Also, I loved your descriptions in this chapter. Some people describe scenery like it's a list, or just a necessary evil to get out of the way, but you...I don't even know. It was beautiful. You transported me effortlessly to a place I've never been and I could imagine myself getting drenched, the air filled with citrus *sighs* Lovely.
Well! For not knowing people actually had a 'fear of the marketplace,' you certainly pulled it off well! To tell you the truth, the only reason I know that is because phobias fascinate me (did you know there's a fear of thinking?! Craziness...). I'm glad I could, in some small way, help!
I enjoyed every bit of this update! Can't wait for more!
~cu-kid