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October 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
all in all a good story. hope to see more negima stories in the future. i think you write them nicely.
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October 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
***Spoilers ahead***
Overall, it's a very good story. You've managed to keep the characters in character and spin a nice taile. However, there are a few tiny technical issues and a canon problem that keep it from being great. The first is that you seem to use present verbs when describing past actions. I'm presuming English isn't your first language, since this happens to some people from other cultures. Secondly, (and here's the spoiler) in the Negima OVA Negi finally admits to Asuna that he loves her, but adds that he feels he's too young to be in a relationship at the moment.
Keep trying. You've got a lot of potential.
Overall, it's a very good story. You've managed to keep the characters in character and spin a nice taile. However, there are a few tiny technical issues and a canon problem that keep it from being great. The first is that you seem to use present verbs when describing past actions. I'm presuming English isn't your first language, since this happens to some people from other cultures. Secondly, (and here's the spoiler) in the Negima OVA Negi finally admits to Asuna that he loves her, but adds that he feels he's too young to be in a relationship at the moment.
Keep trying. You've got a lot of potential.
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October 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
read the second chapter. pretty good
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October 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
it's been so long since i saw a new story in this thread. pretty good btw. can't wait for part II