schedule
November 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
My first impression of this fic...
WALL OF TEXT!!
You really have to learn how to break up your chapters. Not to mention fix your sentences. They're too long and without commas to make them easier to grasp. I really recommend you to get a beta because honestly... I was only able to read a few lines into your fic before my eyes got tired and I had to give up. It's a shame really, because I'm sure this fic is great... it's just that it's impossible to read.
I'm not trying to be mean to you, I just want to help you grow as an author. I've made this kinds of mistakes myself and learned from them so if you just make it easier on the eyes for the reader, I'm sure you'll be really popular really soon ^_^
WALL OF TEXT!!
You really have to learn how to break up your chapters. Not to mention fix your sentences. They're too long and without commas to make them easier to grasp. I really recommend you to get a beta because honestly... I was only able to read a few lines into your fic before my eyes got tired and I had to give up. It's a shame really, because I'm sure this fic is great... it's just that it's impossible to read.
I'm not trying to be mean to you, I just want to help you grow as an author. I've made this kinds of mistakes myself and learned from them so if you just make it easier on the eyes for the reader, I'm sure you'll be really popular really soon ^_^