rate_review Reviews

You going to have to explain further how can more than two elemental masters become married. I didn't quite understand your explaination in the chapter. I can't wait to see how Lance's forces are going to put Giovanni and his people on the run. Are Ash and the gang still at the Indigo Plateau? Was there a gap in time in the chapter? It seemed like Ash went from just recovering to ready to go on the battlefield, all in just in a few lines. That's all for now, til next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru

Sorry again for the late review. I'll make sure leave two of reviews instead of just one for both. This is the first of two. Actually it is neither. I have never written a lemon EVER. So, when I give you the writing sample it will the first time I have attempted to write one. However, I have read quite of few of them, so I think I'm heading in the right direction. However, I just want an outside opinion. To the story: I like how you had the girls make use of the library at the Indigo plateau. I totally forgot that it was there. I also like how you provided a further explaination of why the shadow master now needs two girls to balance his psyche. Will the girls have kids with Ash at the end of the story (whenever that is...)? Those were some high stakes for Sabrina, however will Will still keep his position or will Sabrina replace him? The stipulations weren't so clear for him. What did you mean in the sentence, "...and to Wil's horror, Sabrina leaves her body"? Okay, I'll stop here and work on the next one.
Sincerely,
Akewataru

This is the second review: So is it that Ash is beginning to pull himself together and progress from his regression in mental age? I ask because since he was able to converse with Paul on a similiar intellectual level. Then again, some children can do that too. Y'know, I just realized only recently after reading this chapter that Paul wants to get rid of Ash because he thinks he is a danger to this world. That can't be only reason why he wants to eradicate the shadow master from this world, right? It seems ironic that Paul wants to protect the world from allegedly being destroyed by the shadow master's unstable mind. What does Paul have in this world that he wants to protect, aside from himself? Can self-preservation alone be enough to drive Paul to fight like he does? I don't think so. Plus, the like Ash said, the light and empathethic mistresses would hunt him down. Do you think that light mistress might have the same mental instability problem if the shadow master was destroyed? Okay, I'll stop with the psychobabble and allow you to chew on this for a bit. Til' next time.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
There's not too much I can add, since I didn't get previous review this in to you in time for you answer the questions in that one. So, I guess the next reviewer response is going to be huge. See ya'! I'm currently working on the both things at the same time, so I might be a while. Plus, I am taking two classes that are usually fourteen to sixteen weeks, smashed into only six!
Ugh...I need a break...I'm amazed that I can get back to you most of the time. However, like having something to look forward to reading at the start and during the school day. Thank you so much for doing so.

By the way, do you wait on me to review you before you post the next chapter? Anabel and Valdrade both halves of a whole angel, that could be a possibility. They should also have the ability to fuse together to form one powerful angel equal in strength to the shadow master's demon form. They'll need to do this when Giovanni attacks again with Ash out of comission. The desciption of Valdrade you gave could also apply to Anabel too. That's all I have to say for now til next time.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: Okay, if you're going to help me write lemon, I guess I should give you a writing sample. The summaries I write aren't really my writing at its best, because I am trying very hard not to put dialogue or be very descriptive in it although I think I fail to do that very well.

Sorry again about reviewing so late. Of course I love your lemons, they are some of the more intense ones I've ever read (you must teach me of your ways master). I'm not sure there is such a thing as too much anal, but when it occurs in writing, it does rarely occurs by itself. It is done with the other two forms of sex. Of course Giovanni won't be destroyed so soon. If he did, then the story would end, and then what would I read? I think this really the first time I've seen Valdrade make the decisive attack that ends the battle. Usually it is Ash, Lance, Giovanni or someone in his camp. The title of the chapter fits, however it was more of a bittersweet victory. One of Lance's most powerful battlers is out of commission, and is going to be for a long time. I think it is time for Ash's Pokemon to help him recover. He did capture Mewtwo and made him a shadow Pokemon right? Since Giovanni Mewtwo-like powers, should a Mewtwo be able to reverse it? Valdrade's evolution...Well, since Ash evolved into a demon, shouldn't her's be an angelic creature? However, should the angel be innocent not wanting to inflict harm, or should she be a angel that is fiercely protective even vengeful of those who would seek to harm her shadow master? Think about it, I'll be waiting!
Sincerely,
Akewataru

If Giovanni knew that Paul couldn't fight the demon Ash had become, then why would he tell him to fight him? Was he trying to get rid of Paul? When Giovanni said, "Then I suggest you take your team and leave before I slaughter you all," was it just a empty threat that Giovanni made to not sound like a wimp? Finally we'll see some Ash and Giovanni action! Did Giovanni figure out exactly why Oak was doing what he did? Now, I know you're not going to make driving Giovanni out of the Indigo Plateau that simple. Even if Lance and his forces manage to drive him and his people out, there are plenty of places in Kanto and Johto for Giovanni to hide. By the way, does the light element have evolutions like the shadow element? Also, is the empathetic element a forbidden one too, or is it something else? Finally, is this story going to stay in the Kanto/Johto region, or encompass the Hoenn/Sinnoh regions too?
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: If you don't mind waiting a little while for the chapter summaries, then I do it. On another note, thanks for the lemons between our heros, they were super HOT!

Hmm, I never thought of Ash being forced to join Team Rocket because his his group rejecting him. However, it seems unlikely his battle group would reject him, or anyone else in the resistance. Ash's battle group is made up of his friends who love and trust him, and the shadow/demon powers are still able to be bound by Anabel and Valdrade. Damn, I wanted Oak to die! But, I guess you still need him in some capacity. What Gary said when Prof. oak was dying was cold, hilarious but cold. It is amazing that Prof. Oak was able to create another more powerful element suppressor so quickly, only for it to fail and get himself impaled. Exactly what powers does Giovanni have? Know he has Mewtwo powers but what powers did you have in mind? He must be quite powerful if can cause Ash to retreat his battle group, and anyone who fights him never does by themselves.Is Paul off the hook for not getting the shadow master? I mean it was Giovanni who suggested that Ash and his group leave. Til' next time Mewtwo!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: Thanks for reading chapter 6 and getting back to me so quickly. I'll work on chapter one of part two a bit each day. Or would you rather me send you bits of it more often?

Oh, this story continues to get better and better each time I read it!! I'm glad you gave us some detain on hw Ash was captured. Oh, I'm sure Giovanni wouldn't just let Paul release Ash. He's too smart for that, plus I see to see that Giovanni is beginning to realize he can only control people with fear and desperation for so long, before they turn on him. A thrid forbidden element? I can definitely see why now Anabel is needed in addition to the light mistress to balance the shadow/demon master. I wonder how Lance, Lt. Surge, Gary, Sabrina, Valdrade, Anabel, and the shadow group will react to this. Will Ash be too dangerous be around the others? I can't think of much more to say, because I want to see what happens next. Til' next time Mewtwo!
Sincerely,
Akewataru

Very interesting developments for this chapter. I never would have thought you to be so bold as have Giovanni attempt capture Ash. Although, I wish you would have gone into greater detail about how Ash was captured by Domino's team. I'm sure that it couldn't have been that easy to capture Ash, even with the element suppressors. Someone had to have seen something. Is Giovanni going to use Ash against Lance's forces like he was in Ace's story? I am surprised that Oak hasn't developed the elelemt suppressors further so that they can control the person that device is on. Shadow is a very voltile element. People to pair with Dawn: There is also Barry, but he's too much of a hot head, and he idolizes Paul. So, I think you're doing good with Kenny. Okay, that's all for now. Til next time.
Sincerely,
Akewataru

Sorry about reviewing so late, I really didn't get a chance to really read the chapter (I skimmed over it the first time), so I wanted to wait until I had the chance read the chapter to review it. Hmm...Am I a Paul fan? Well, I find him to be one of Ash's best rivals because he can't seem to beat him in a Pokemon battle. This in turn causes Ash push himself harder and to reexamine his own philosophies about Pokemon training. Plus, Paul is a versitile character to write with. We really do not know why Paul is Paul. Was he at one time a normal caring human being or was he always like this. We do not know. Ash is a complex character, and Paul is his foil, that is why I like him. A Dawn and Kenny pairing. Y'know, I never really warmed up to Kanny because I missed all the anime episodes that featured him. Maybe you can help me. Both Dawn and Kenny have/had Piplups and their final evolvution Empoleon is water and steel type. So, consider this when choosing, because as you probably figured out by now, I like to keep human element types close to the Pokemon they have. Wow, I like how you took May and Drew's love to a different level than all the others. I know that mutual love exists with every couple pairing, however a protective love that is not overbearing is the one of the most beautiful and productive things in the world. I think you really captured that in this chapter. Especially when the the plant life of Pallet came back to life because of their love. On another note, that last scene with Giovanni teaching Paul a lesson had me cracking up for a while (even during work last night). He needed to be knocked down a peg or two. In that scene you did bring up something I never considered.
What did Giovanni mean that Paul won't be freed until the battle is over? Does Paul owe Giovanni a debt or something? That will be all for now, til next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: Ack! No! Paul raping or controling someone was the furthest thing from my mind when I suggested a pairing for him. Someone like Paul wouldn't equate sex and love. It would be more like recreational activity or a release for him. I am pretty sure there are plenty of girls in Team Rocket that wouldn't either. Maybe Domino would be like that. She seems to be the type to screw guys that she has no feelings for. However, not just anyone, only men with power. I dunno...