AFF Fiction Portal
GroupsMembersexpand_more
person_addRegisterexpand_more

rate_review Reviews

for Elemental Battles

by SSJ04Mewtwo

schedule July 3, 2009 at 12:00 AM
First off I would like to say I liked the all the attack names you came up with for this fight. I'm glad you didn't give away what you have in mind for the story. I am always interested in seeing whether you use my suggestions and if you do, how you use them with your own ideas. I am actually surprised that you didn't kill off Domino, but now understanding how you write things, there's an upcoming fight with her in isn't there? By the way, what happened to Dawn? Did she go back to Sinnoh? If not what will be her element(s)? Are Cyrus, Mars, Saturn, or Jupiter going to be combatants in the fights? I am surprised that Giovanni hasn't thrown the former Galactic leader and executives into the fight yet, to earn their keep. Or is Cyrus and his executives in the research and development side of things? You may have answered this already, but do you plan to pair Paul with anyone at any point of this story. I think you said before that Paul is too ill-tempered to be paired with someone. In a romantic way, sure. However, even the ill-tempered have to get their rocks off somehow. Maybe that's why Paul is the way he is. Too much pent-up sexual tension. He's got to release it sometime. You've already set the stage for a lemon between him and someone. Sex doesn't always equal love. On that note, til' next time!
schedule July 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Okay, that does makes a lot of sense. I can't wait to the rematch between Will and Sabrina. I like how you showed Lance asserting his authority as League Champion. We don't see this very much I'm afraid. Explain to me how the Dragon clan works. Who is part of it and who is not, and cannot be? Yes, you did give Lucy the element of Poison if I recall correctly. By the way are you going to have any of the characters in the story marry each other at one point or another? That will be a huge thing in my story, unless you feel that it is unrealstic. How do you feel about sex and marriage in fanfiction? I'm waiting on your answer. See ya!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
I hope this battle in the Orange Islands is different than in Kanto. It has to be. Different terain, the weather is more voltile and can change in an instant. The question is, to whose advantage does this work towards?
schedule June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Aw, I would have liked to see Sabrina decimate Will, but it is all the same I guess. Nice use of the ghost element on Sabrina's part. Very imaginative. Now that Will has been captured, how will Lance's group get him and more importantly Misty to cooperate with the resistance without problems? Because if Misty were to go back to normal, then she would still obsessed with Ash and hate her sister Valdrade. I think using a psychic to wipe her mind clean would be too much. Using Anabel to help Misty to stop obssessing about Ash, and reversing the damage Will did would be less harsh. Let's see, I don't think you've assigned an element to Brandon, or Professor Ivy. I think Brandon would be suited best as a Rock, Ice, and Steel element user for his Regis. With Professor Ivy, do you want to go for the obvious? By the way, does the dragon clan have rules on what type of trainer (or this case element user) they can mate with? I ask, because you would think that the dragon clan would allow their members to only mate with dragon users. If I remember correctly, Professor Ivy has a Gyrados, but that is as close to dragon type that she has.She also has a Poliwrath, Nidorans F/M, Paras, Cloyster, Vileplume and a Raticate. So this means she could be a plant, poison, normal, water, fighting, ice, flying and/or bug type. Also, I believe she had three assistants that stayed with her what happened to them? Oh did you want to do something with why Brock curls up into at the mention of her name? Just thoughts you can run with to expand the story, however careful not get off track. I personally know that is very easy to do. I'll leave things here because I know I just gave you alot to think about. Oh before I forget, superb lemon between Drake and Ivy. One of the best you've written so far.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
schedule June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
That is a tough question. Just about every reoccuring male character is taken. At first I thought maybe Reggie (Paul's brother) should join the fray, but I think he is taken by Maylene. I mean c'mon what do they expect us to think when she's always at his house? The only people that aren't taken are Drake and Brandon. She might be suited for someone her age or maybe younger since she still seems be quite the sensual woman for one in her early thirties. Okay elements for Rocket members: Annie: Psychic (Espeon), Oakley: Bug and/or Poison (Ariados) Vicious: Dark, Ground, Ice or Steel (Sneasel, Scizor and Tyranitar), Attila: Poison, Steel and/or Flying (Skarmory and Muk) Hun: Steel and/or Rock (On a side note, this probably goes without saying but Hun IS a guy. A good looking bishounen, but nevertheless is a guy. I read somewhere that the dubbers tried to change his voice to sound like a girl, but didn't even refer to him as a her.) Tyson: Flying (Fearow, although I for him I would pick another element for him. He doesn't seem like the flying type.) I believe you already elements for Domino. For Sabrina, she probably could develop Ghost element powers since Ash's Haunter decided to stay with her. You are absolutely right there was another Tyson. He was the guy who beat Ash in the Hoenn Evergrande Conference. Okay, that's all for now. Oh, by the way, thanks for the lemon, it was excellent as always.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
schedule June 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Okay, I had no idea that the cloaks could shift into any type of clothing. Although, I do remember during the fight with Misty, she changed her cloak into a 'revealing bathing suit'. So I guess I forgot about that. Thanks for referencing that episode it was truly one of my favorites. Its a shame that I probably won't see it for a long while yet. By the way, are you going to pair anyone up with professor Ivy? She's way too good of a catch to be leave by herself. I am interested as to whether Giovanni will succeed even partially in his plans. It's that sort of unpredictibility that keeps that story going. So what will Ivy do with those plans? Anymore lemons coming up on the horizon? There's been a bit of a dry spell. Another thing, aren't there more Team Rocket duos than Casidy and Butch that you can use like Annie & Oakley and Attila and Hun? Also, there is Tyson (He was at the Red Gyrados incident) and Vicious (The Iron Masked Maruader, I think don't think that they came up with a dub name besides that.) Seeing Giovanni becoming frustrated with Cassidy and Butch would make one think that he would to put his trust in higher level Rockets that get results. I mean look what Domino, one of his top ranking agents, did to the shadow master, she put him out of comission for two weeks! This allowed Giovanni to take Johto and Kanto. Think about using some of the other Rockets we've seen in the anime or in movies. That's all for now, til next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
schedule June 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well, let's start off that Elite Four Drake is like centuries older than the one from the Orange Islands. in your writing just label them the younger or elder Drake. Or you could label Elite Four Drake as the former leader of the dragon clan. Trust me, it won't take too much for the readers to figure out who you are talking about. By the way I'm curious, why are Valdrade and Anabel wearing swim suits? Yeah, maybe adoption is going too far (I like the idea though), but Luana was protective of him when they met. I just thought of something; my favorite episode of Pokemon was and still is 'Pikachu Revolts' (best animation and storyline ever!!). Remember how Cassidy and Butch on Mandrian Island controlled Pokemon and made them attack their trainers? Maybe there are some remnants of the facilty below ground that wasn't destroyed. Think about it. Til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
schedule June 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well, when you have loyal readers to entertain, stories just seem to get longer and longer. Cissy: Water type; Danny: Bug (Scyther) or Ice (since he likes climbing snowcapped mountains); Rudy: Water and Electric (his Starmie knows thunder); Luana: Ground (Marowak) or Psychic (Alakazam). Also, I could see Luana being a mother figure for Ash (maybe even adopting him?), since she hasn't seen her son Travis in a long time, and she did take an immediate liking to him. Whether her son is stil alive or dead is entirely up to you. Interesting developments in this chapter. Will left with Misty? That had me laughing a bit. I was hoping to see a love triangle between her, Rudy, and Will, but oh well...I'm glad you finally got Giovanni to go after Pallet town. Also, I like how you made him too ambitious. That might be his downfall. By the way, are the trainers aside from the elite four and gym leaders, in this story teenagers? You don't have to give me a list of everyone's ages, but I would like to have some frame of reference. That's all I can think of for now, til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
P.S: Greetings from Jacksonville, FL (Fortunately, I was able to find a computer down here)!

Just out of curiosity, why do you update so early in the morning?
schedule June 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmm...I like the title. I want to know what you were thinking when you chose it. I like how you included Domino in this one. Is she a dark/poison element? Interesting combo. I actually think it was a good thing storywise that two strong characters like Ash and Sabrina are out of commission. What will Lance do now? More importantly, what will Giovanni plan to do once he finds out two of the biggest threats to his plans are out of action. Will he make a bold move? I'm curious to see what you will do. Also, is Drew a grass/poison and Harley a grass/dark for Cacturne? That's all for now. Til' next time.
Sincerely,
Akewataru
I am working on chapter four summary and got alot of it done today. I just need to finish expect it tonight or just after noon tomorrow.
schedule June 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I definitely like this chapter since you filled some knowledge gaps I had about the story. Plus I think the readers needed to see how Lance's army trains, and the introduction of new characters is always good. This will be short review, since my hands are tired from writng the summary I am sending you. Til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru
schedule June 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Sure, why not go with the CaseyXMax pairing? They make the perfect couple, they are both arrogant, stubborn, and think they know everything. I think either one would be good as an electric element. However, I could see Casey as an Fighting type too since she is very athletic. Brock without question is a rock type, and since Lucy likes snakes, she should be a Poison type. Are Duplica and Richie a couple too? Duplica's element is obvious, but what is Richie's? If you are going bring Max in the story, are you going to bring May in too? If so, are you going to pair her up? She would make a good plant element character. By the way, don't you think that the Kanto gym leaders should be helping the trainers of their respective elements train as well? That's all for now til' next time!
Sincerely,
Akewataru

Age Verification Required

This website contains adult content. You must be 18 years or older to access this site.

Are you 18 years of age or older?