rate_review Reviews

I really really liked this story :)

Please do more! I'd love to see what happens next.

Good story.... Write more please =D anywayz... heres a few tips.. instead of stringing the speech into the paragraphs, make the speech its own paragraph, single out the speech and add the "s. It may be a bit of a pain but it makes the story longer, easier to read, and aestethically "beautiufl". Also if you do, do as I suggested, don't just say "shinji said" "asuka said" all the time... mix it up... "Hey Asuka" Shinji says with a smile as she walk's through the door. Either way, you're story is good, and you have great potential as a writer. Once again WRITE MORE!! xD Your friend, Inu.

As far as I can tell, you're the first to write a fic taking place after third impact, where the rest of the cast DOES NOT 'miraculously and almost immediately' start coming back from Lilith's egg. And I like that, I do....
But man... Oh man... You seem to care as much about punctuation, grammar, structure and spelling as Asuka did about soiling herself... And sometimes I can stomach a few missing periods and quotations and spelling mistakes... But please for petes' sake, PICK ONE, past or present tense, JUST PICK ONE! *deep breaths* Preferably past tense... Present tense bugs most people...

But please do continue. I've wanted to read an in depth fic where it's just Shinji and Asuka after third impact, no one else. The problems they'd face and how they'd survive, you're doing great as far as plot goes. :)
Chiao

Actually, you did better in your second chapter where my main gripe with your first was concerned. No switching from past to present to past tense in chapter 2 that I can find. Now can I get some quotations? Don't wanna push my luck or anything, lol. Please continue.

Chiao