rate_review Reviews

Ok, I know this story has been out a while, but... Ghost IS NOT weak against Psychic, the Anime screws up all the time.

This story was great. I didn't quite get to it in one sitting, but I made it two. Pokemon was my first favorite anime and to this day I still love reading about the characters. Yet once again you have taken the characters that I had identified the least with when playing the games or watching the shows, and turned their story into something captivating and amazing. I hope that you continue writing these stories, I notice that you have a second to this plotline now, and I hope that you are still writing.

Good luck and I will now start on the next tale of Pokemon!

P.S. I hope your digimon tale is as good as your previous ones have been, I am looking forward to it. Once again Joe is not a character I had identified with when watching the shows, but I'm sure I will love it.

I read through your fic and thank the stars you actually ended part one of your fic, granted the story's yet to be finished, I'm thrilled to have read something that actually ended with an ending.

I enjoy the fact that you don't make the entire story filled with "lemony" parts, because the plot would never take place, despite what others would think.

This is kind of one of those "dark" character protagonist stories. I was slightly horrified by some of the graphical scenes, but after reading 3 other poke tales prior to yours, my tolerance of such graphics are quite built up. The Romance in the story is pretty nice and the possible "love triangle" problem could cause great complications for the future.

As with all my reviews, I usually try to give some "constructive criticism," so please treat it as such so my review doesn't seem like I'm telling you how to write your story, key-doke? ^_^

There are a few "nitpicks" I've got:

1. I'd like to see more of a, development in each of your characters. I'm able to picture them while reading, but only slightly. I'd like to see more of that "nitty-gritty" detail that's given about the characters.

2. The story altogether was a little on the rushed side. I read your past comments and you did mention when you wrote this you were limited at times to write this up and get it posted b/w your job, and your personal life. If it's possible, try not to jump so quickly ahead. I don't know what the other reviews stated, but some of the scenes you skipped caused some minor confusion for me, as the reader to fully comprehend. So in short, take care to shift from scene to scene more clearly or just slow the pace of the story down just a hair bit, please?

3. If possible, read through what you typed before you post it, or at least make an attempt to go back through and reedit your story to where there's hardly any grammatical errors or who said what errors. This complaint can be overlooked if you wouldn't mind following the other 2 ideas above, because then the mistakes are just annoying, not really affecting what you meant to say in the first place.

As for some more positive feedback, the combination of Angel's purity and her ruthless actions are unbelievable. I'm picturing, similar to "Slash's Sinners" story, a picture of 2 hearts w/i: one of light and pure, the other of dark and hatred, all meshed together into one giant heart of some sort. It's incredible! ^_^

The guilt that Amaron (Mewtwo) sorry if I got his nickname wrong, is so obvious and well characterized through his actions, especially in the last battle against Gary. And, the, errhem moment him and Angel felt from their "connection" was certainly arousing. ^.- (Very impressive.)

Then there's the change in heart of Gary Oak, who goes from this sarcastic, sorry to say (a bit of douche bag) guy to this overprotective boyfriend who would do anything in the world to protect his "angel." It's really quite a 'fluffy' kind of cute side to him, that's been awakened due to Angel's Purity and connection with Mew. Brilliant work indeed.

I don't want to spoil anymore for any possible new readers that are looking through these reviews. I give you a job well-done for finishing The Path of Sacrifice 1.

~silent writer~

I ask, no, demand your MSN. anyone who is willing to give their character in their story the most powerful pokemon ever known is a hero in my book

mine is rhale8040@yahoo.com

Woah. Moonlight flipped his shit. xD I'M SO PROUD OF HIMMM.

If it takes forever for PoS2 to start, I'm gonna EAT'CHU. >:D

Yo,

I'm one of those nerds that is over 18 and still likes pokemon XD. Originally I didn't know how I felt about how you were doing with this, I mean kudos on all the game knowledge, but incorporating such a scientific approach in your writing was a bit annoying for a bit. Then I got to this. Unlike most of the fics I read, this one actually hit home and made me think about all the past relationships I've had, that I've gone all the way with my girl. I'm honestly moved.

Keep up the good work!

Easy there Kitten, I meant no offense. As I said, purely nitpicks and suggestions.

Also, I rewatched Pokemon 2000 yesterday, and it seems that Mew resided in the Andes Mountains. It's backed up in the Pokemon Special manga as well, I believe. Pokemon geographical canon is confusing at best!

Enjoying the battle so far. If they're still friends after this, she's going to cop it at every opportunity about making the same mistake as him, I'll bet.

Just read this now. Odd, because I thought I'd read everything in this section. I'm not sure how it snuck past me.

Either way, this has been very enjoyable so far. You started out a bit clinical, but your writing style has improved considearbly as you've gone. I like the way the pairing interacts, as well as the various Pokemon in their teams. I'd love to see some more interaction with Gary's team, though.

I'm not sure if you're wanting constructive criticism, but I just have two little nitpicks anyway;
First up, the nationalities thing is just weird. Your story takes place in the canonical Hoenn/Kanto/Johto/Sinno world, yet
you describe Giovanni as Italian, George as English and that Salamance as German.
And the other thing. The "soundtrack" thing you have going in a couple of chapters - I'd sort of suggest you drop it. Personally I'm not partial to your taste in music, and suddenly having the atonal stylings of Lady Gaga in my head while I try to imagine something as epic as Mewtwo detracts from the experience somewhat. Ditto to the Rammstein section later on - I had to read that a few times just because skipping the lyrics was so distracting.

Either way, it's been a romp so far and I look forward to your next update!

Hey, I just discovered your story, and I have to say, I am quite impressed. It isn't just pure smut like most things here (although smut has it's place as well, heh) and the parts that ARE smut are very well done. The plot is detailed and deep, you very successfully kept me on the edge of my metaphorical seat. I think the idea of a Mew "Aura" is rather interesting, although the Gary-Mewtwo baby is a little...weird. In addition, it seems to me that Mewtwo would, while recovering, prefer to be OUT of the dark void inside the pokeball; I know I would rather have scenery to look at while I am recovering instead of empty, lonely blackness. I have to say, I'm not exactly sure I like where you are going with Gary having an Umbreon as well, especially with the budding crush Moonlight seems to have on her. I realize Gary may have had one in Canon, but you have taken enough liberties with the story to change that, perhaps an Espeon? Anyway, the real problem I have with it is the sudden amnesia Moonlight has about his feelings for Slaughter, and what he did to her. Unless you plan on giving him his own little harem... Then again it IS your story, and I have no real right to suggest or criticize plot points. Also, you mentioned Blue in one of the most recent chapters, is Blue the same character as the Ash that you mentioned in the first few chapters? Or is he another person? In the games, Gary is Blue, and Ash is Red, thus leading to my confusion. Oh, and I love the George character. When he was first introduced I expected an entirely different... relationship with the main characters. I expected one of resentment and hostility towards them, but I like where you actually DID take him much better. I look forward to reading more of this story, and I hope you will forgive the...eclectic nature of this review, and its length
- GFF16