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June 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 11:
I am almost totally sure that I had already made a review for this chapter, but I didn't continue reading to chapter 12 so I didn't post it back then. Now I don't really know what to say other then that the chapter was awesome. The growing of Light and Mello's relationship, Matt's jealousy, etc. I did notice that regarding typos and such, you have become far more careful on those as time went by.
ugh I wanted to read more chapters, but I'm such a slooow reader, that I'm only gonna post this microscopic review
I am almost totally sure that I had already made a review for this chapter, but I didn't continue reading to chapter 12 so I didn't post it back then. Now I don't really know what to say other then that the chapter was awesome. The growing of Light and Mello's relationship, Matt's jealousy, etc. I did notice that regarding typos and such, you have become far more careful on those as time went by.
ugh I wanted to read more chapters, but I'm such a slooow reader, that I'm only gonna post this microscopic review
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April 16, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 9:
I really love how you write L. His inner conflicts, all his plan of the consequences of the worst scenario. It's very sad in a way, and very real and L-ish. But the fact that he is fully aware that if circumstances were to go wrong, he'd have Light killed and how that made him feel, was really well written.
About how Ryuk's presence would have gotten into Light and begin his paranoia, indeed that wouldn't be so strange. His very appearence is verycreepy as it is, plus his personality is enerving to say the least. Most of the time I think Rem was a much better Shinigami in all senses. Well, not most of the time, always.
Oh, and I felt so slightly inteligent with the Sforza reference. I've read about them on a book once, yay for my not-so-small culture after all.
Chapter 10:
Woo intense stuff. yay
I had been wondering about Bella's physical apperance (random statement, much more interesting aspects to point out than that). L's jealous-lover behavior was amazing. His contradics regarding his antagonism with Light yet his love for him were as good. And of course, brillian plan of Bella, if I hadn't peeked into future chapters and knew it already, this clearly shows how clever and bitchy she is.
Wow, loved Light coming to the scene. SO totally God-like. Gotta love Light really. And Mello's around too, yay the left-behind unite.
"He apparently had a penchant for provoking Kiras—favorite pastime or something." this was absolutely genious. So so awesome.
I really love how you write L. His inner conflicts, all his plan of the consequences of the worst scenario. It's very sad in a way, and very real and L-ish. But the fact that he is fully aware that if circumstances were to go wrong, he'd have Light killed and how that made him feel, was really well written.
About how Ryuk's presence would have gotten into Light and begin his paranoia, indeed that wouldn't be so strange. His very appearence is verycreepy as it is, plus his personality is enerving to say the least. Most of the time I think Rem was a much better Shinigami in all senses. Well, not most of the time, always.
Oh, and I felt so slightly inteligent with the Sforza reference. I've read about them on a book once, yay for my not-so-small culture after all.
Chapter 10:
Woo intense stuff. yay
I had been wondering about Bella's physical apperance (random statement, much more interesting aspects to point out than that). L's jealous-lover behavior was amazing. His contradics regarding his antagonism with Light yet his love for him were as good. And of course, brillian plan of Bella, if I hadn't peeked into future chapters and knew it already, this clearly shows how clever and bitchy she is.
Wow, loved Light coming to the scene. SO totally God-like. Gotta love Light really. And Mello's around too, yay the left-behind unite.
"He apparently had a penchant for provoking Kiras—favorite pastime or something." this was absolutely genious. So so awesome.
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April 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 7:
I love how you write Mafia-related stuff. I always love to read such themes, and to see it well written is of course much more better. The whole tension, calculation, etc... well, usual Death Note business.
Light is really devoted, as if we didn't know that already. I really liked all the description of his actions and plan.
And damn I am so slow, it took me a moment to understand what exactly that "Don't be afraid" note meant, but when I did, I re-read the bit of perhaps simple yet awesome part of Kira showing up in full grace. Also, I liked the irony of using Misora as his fake surname and Tsuki as the first.
Also, L's feelings for Light coming in the way of his reasoning show a lot of how their relationship affects him.
Chapter 8:
The bits where L touched Light's chin were so sweet, real tenderness.
Dunno what else to say, loved the intensity of this, despite the fact that they all just sat in a bathroom.
I love how you write Mafia-related stuff. I always love to read such themes, and to see it well written is of course much more better. The whole tension, calculation, etc... well, usual Death Note business.
Light is really devoted, as if we didn't know that already. I really liked all the description of his actions and plan.
And damn I am so slow, it took me a moment to understand what exactly that "Don't be afraid" note meant, but when I did, I re-read the bit of perhaps simple yet awesome part of Kira showing up in full grace. Also, I liked the irony of using Misora as his fake surname and Tsuki as the first.
Also, L's feelings for Light coming in the way of his reasoning show a lot of how their relationship affects him.
Chapter 8:
The bits where L touched Light's chin were so sweet, real tenderness.
Dunno what else to say, loved the intensity of this, despite the fact that they all just sat in a bathroom.
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March 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 59: Oh Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me? That… was amazing. *_* Dammit I love Mello and L so much, and you write them so perfectly, and it was so damn gorgeous as well as simply being hot (but all the same it cannot be denied that it is indeed HOT) and… guh. *dies* I really just have a massive thing for fucked-up relationships (so this whole fic is pretty much perfect for me, haha) and I absolutely adore this kind of so-wrong-yet-so-right thing they’ve got going on; it’s completely beautiful, and of course enormously sexy as well. The amount of sensual detail here was really lovely, and the way they keep saying they should stop whilst not making any moves to actually prevent it… unf. Just… unf. And you have successfully turned my brain inside out, because I have no idea how to react to events any more; when Mello first got that suspicion over his “tail”, I got this immediate sinking feeling, although when Light actually appeared I just went “Yay”, but then that was quickly followed by anger and annoyance at them both because it seemed so damn disloyal to the others, even while I was celebrating the pair of them and their incredible chemistry and the way they just, somehow, work. Together. My brain is melting, bah. As for Matt, I really don’t think that it’s going to be possible to patch everything up with him: he’s just too bitter and hurt – and much as I love L and Mello and don’t normally care about Matt, it’s undeniable that they are selfish and that he is suffering. :( The revelation of what Light had done to the mob men was a huge shock, but strangely it didn’t make me have one of my typical over the top reactions… in fact it made me feel kind of numb, because it was indeed a far too clear demonstration of his power – of how he holds all the pieces necessary to do pretty much whatever he likes, and even if he does choose to go with L and the others, how can they possibly ever function?
Chapter 60: I think I’ve realised what the problem is when it comes to me trying to review scenes like this: they just leave nothing else to be said. All of the confusion, all of the passion, all of the pain and conflict and hopelessness and beauty is right here, and I don’t see that there’s anything I can add that would offer any insight because I am simply overwhelmed with the perfection of it – even when the men died right outside – no, especially then, because that just made it all crystallise so terribly… Incoherence is the word of the day, it seems, and yet like I said I’m not sure I would really be able to add much anyway. Perhaps I ought to be thankful for the fact that Bella at last reappeared, since it managed to startle me back into a slightly more reasonable state – although I’m having a little trouble accepting that plus side, I have to say. Somewhere along the line I have become deeply protective of Linda, and as we all know she’s not really used to having to deal with this sort of thing, so from the get-go I was really concerned about her (and the details about Budella certainly didn’t help, you bloody sadists. :P) L’s bluff was, as ever, completely brilliant, although in a situation like this it was frankly not a great comfort – and similarly, while L’s calmness was gratifying it entirely failed to rub off on me. That scene went beyond tension into the realms of I-don’t-even-know-what; suffice to say that it had me gripping my mouse really hard in a futile attempt to get myself to calm down. It says a lot that the gunfight was actually a relief for me. X_X And damn it all, L is completely nuts – but I already knew that – but I’d still say that opening a vein in his own arm is up there on the list of crazy things he’s done, regardless of the fact that it worked. And now I’m left all jittery and anguished again: even though he obviously intended to be captured and has proven himself capable of dealing with torture, that doesn’t stop me from being dreadfully concerned over what Bella might do.
Chapter 61: Since I’m going into this already feeling pretty nauseous with nervousness, I should maybe be thankful for the fact that Bella and her lot don’t hang about, but I’m finding it hard to see it that way. Dammit, I hate being so squeamish, it’s making it really hard for me to concentrate. Just… I hate Bella. I’m well aware of the fact that L isn’t in any real danger, but that doesn’t make it any easier. (I also feel like it’s somehow worse because of the fact that they went for his feet, but something tells me that’s not entirely important.) And the mention of B didn’t help, and that horrible detail about the muscle rolling up into his leg… arghhhh. I think that was the point at which I started flailing my arms around uselessly. D: The taunting, disdainful attitude that L tends to use in these sorts of situations is provoking the usual response in me – that is to say, a mixture of nervous laughter and nail-biting tension. God dammit he does not make things easy for himself. I had a similar reaction when I realised how Mello was planning to handle things, too. Far from subtle, but that’s never been his forte anyway; still, it seems that trying to intimidate is bound to be a bit trickier considering what an advantage the enemy have – or think they have, which amounts to the same thing. I was completely stunned when Mello shot L; it took me a while to realise the cleverness of that move, because my brain was occupying itself with going “WTF?!” really loudly, but once it finally dawned on me I almost wanted to applaud. Two birds with one stone, really. However, as soon as Bella reacted with confusion to the men arriving, I knew that they were being controlled by the notebook – and okay, I was barely nanoseconds ahead in figuring that out, but still. Shhhh. :P And then, not surprisingly, it turned into an enormous bloodbath. It was utterly intense and completely brutal, especially the face-off in the bell tower – more than anything else it got across the total ruthlessness of Light’s goal, and I feel like there must be something wrong with me for enjoying it because it was so twisted and terrible – the inevitability of Bella’s fate, and her helplessness and blindness to it – yes, completely twisted. But like I said, I enjoyed it, so I guess we’re all going to hell. And then Light’s pure unfiltered glee and triumph at the end, and that horrible sinking inevitability in everyone’s responses… good Lord I cannot deal with this, that was far too much and I just started whimpering uselessly.
Chapter 62: There is just… nothing left. Nothing I can possibly say, because again, it’s all right here in front of me and I can’t find anything to add. It was all far too perfect – from Ryuk’s comments to Mello insisting that Light kill them himself (and the way that he struggles to stay angry so that he can do what he has to is utterly heartbreaking) to L’s intervention – and I don’t remember at what point I first got teary-eyed, but it was at that point that it became obvious. And then I just remember feeling stunned, totally and utterly – because I suppose I never really formed a theory about this moment, about what would happen in the end – I hoped for this, but I never really anticipated it and I was far from trusting in it. Even for me here, the moment when he dropped the notebook seemed to last forever. And then the way that L went over at once, despite his own pain, just to comfort him… I’m just… speechless. And teary. Amazing.
Epilogue: Again, it just seems like everything has come together and fallen into place in exactly the right way – even though the mere thought of that ought to seem strange, given all the contradictions and confusions and the open-ended tone – and how even now, after everything, Light is very much on the edge – and yet despite all that I still think that things are how they should be. I absolutely adore L and Light’s collaboration to get Mello out of the mafia – and that ought to be desperately ironic, given the nature of that bail-out and what it means, and yet… somehow, like everything else, it fits. And then the way they just separate, and that unspoken knowledge between all of them, the silent awareness and the meaning behind everything said… I’m sorry, I’m crying manly tears, don’t mind me. ;_; You should know that it means a lot to get this sort of reaction from me: I very rarely get visibly emotional over TV and books and so on, and my feelings towards most of these characters are mixed at best, and I also have this built-in scepticism when it comes to the notion of love in DN fics – but despite all that, here I am. And that really just goes to show what an excellent job you did with this, and how even in the face of the enormous complexity and all the various intertwining threads, it all holds together and runs smoothly and – and it just works.
…Excuse me a minute. ;__;
I almost can’t believe that I’ve actually finished this thing, haha. It was hugely intimidating to start with, yet it seems to have gone so quickly… I will, as you both know, move on to 2B next – although I ought to warn you: I’m going to be busier than normal over the next month or so due to English coursework, so I may not be able to keep up the same pace that I’ve managed with this one. In any case, until the next time – and thank you for having the skill and the passion to write this. Much love. <3
Chapter 60: I think I’ve realised what the problem is when it comes to me trying to review scenes like this: they just leave nothing else to be said. All of the confusion, all of the passion, all of the pain and conflict and hopelessness and beauty is right here, and I don’t see that there’s anything I can add that would offer any insight because I am simply overwhelmed with the perfection of it – even when the men died right outside – no, especially then, because that just made it all crystallise so terribly… Incoherence is the word of the day, it seems, and yet like I said I’m not sure I would really be able to add much anyway. Perhaps I ought to be thankful for the fact that Bella at last reappeared, since it managed to startle me back into a slightly more reasonable state – although I’m having a little trouble accepting that plus side, I have to say. Somewhere along the line I have become deeply protective of Linda, and as we all know she’s not really used to having to deal with this sort of thing, so from the get-go I was really concerned about her (and the details about Budella certainly didn’t help, you bloody sadists. :P) L’s bluff was, as ever, completely brilliant, although in a situation like this it was frankly not a great comfort – and similarly, while L’s calmness was gratifying it entirely failed to rub off on me. That scene went beyond tension into the realms of I-don’t-even-know-what; suffice to say that it had me gripping my mouse really hard in a futile attempt to get myself to calm down. It says a lot that the gunfight was actually a relief for me. X_X And damn it all, L is completely nuts – but I already knew that – but I’d still say that opening a vein in his own arm is up there on the list of crazy things he’s done, regardless of the fact that it worked. And now I’m left all jittery and anguished again: even though he obviously intended to be captured and has proven himself capable of dealing with torture, that doesn’t stop me from being dreadfully concerned over what Bella might do.
Chapter 61: Since I’m going into this already feeling pretty nauseous with nervousness, I should maybe be thankful for the fact that Bella and her lot don’t hang about, but I’m finding it hard to see it that way. Dammit, I hate being so squeamish, it’s making it really hard for me to concentrate. Just… I hate Bella. I’m well aware of the fact that L isn’t in any real danger, but that doesn’t make it any easier. (I also feel like it’s somehow worse because of the fact that they went for his feet, but something tells me that’s not entirely important.) And the mention of B didn’t help, and that horrible detail about the muscle rolling up into his leg… arghhhh. I think that was the point at which I started flailing my arms around uselessly. D: The taunting, disdainful attitude that L tends to use in these sorts of situations is provoking the usual response in me – that is to say, a mixture of nervous laughter and nail-biting tension. God dammit he does not make things easy for himself. I had a similar reaction when I realised how Mello was planning to handle things, too. Far from subtle, but that’s never been his forte anyway; still, it seems that trying to intimidate is bound to be a bit trickier considering what an advantage the enemy have – or think they have, which amounts to the same thing. I was completely stunned when Mello shot L; it took me a while to realise the cleverness of that move, because my brain was occupying itself with going “WTF?!” really loudly, but once it finally dawned on me I almost wanted to applaud. Two birds with one stone, really. However, as soon as Bella reacted with confusion to the men arriving, I knew that they were being controlled by the notebook – and okay, I was barely nanoseconds ahead in figuring that out, but still. Shhhh. :P And then, not surprisingly, it turned into an enormous bloodbath. It was utterly intense and completely brutal, especially the face-off in the bell tower – more than anything else it got across the total ruthlessness of Light’s goal, and I feel like there must be something wrong with me for enjoying it because it was so twisted and terrible – the inevitability of Bella’s fate, and her helplessness and blindness to it – yes, completely twisted. But like I said, I enjoyed it, so I guess we’re all going to hell. And then Light’s pure unfiltered glee and triumph at the end, and that horrible sinking inevitability in everyone’s responses… good Lord I cannot deal with this, that was far too much and I just started whimpering uselessly.
Chapter 62: There is just… nothing left. Nothing I can possibly say, because again, it’s all right here in front of me and I can’t find anything to add. It was all far too perfect – from Ryuk’s comments to Mello insisting that Light kill them himself (and the way that he struggles to stay angry so that he can do what he has to is utterly heartbreaking) to L’s intervention – and I don’t remember at what point I first got teary-eyed, but it was at that point that it became obvious. And then I just remember feeling stunned, totally and utterly – because I suppose I never really formed a theory about this moment, about what would happen in the end – I hoped for this, but I never really anticipated it and I was far from trusting in it. Even for me here, the moment when he dropped the notebook seemed to last forever. And then the way that L went over at once, despite his own pain, just to comfort him… I’m just… speechless. And teary. Amazing.
Epilogue: Again, it just seems like everything has come together and fallen into place in exactly the right way – even though the mere thought of that ought to seem strange, given all the contradictions and confusions and the open-ended tone – and how even now, after everything, Light is very much on the edge – and yet despite all that I still think that things are how they should be. I absolutely adore L and Light’s collaboration to get Mello out of the mafia – and that ought to be desperately ironic, given the nature of that bail-out and what it means, and yet… somehow, like everything else, it fits. And then the way they just separate, and that unspoken knowledge between all of them, the silent awareness and the meaning behind everything said… I’m sorry, I’m crying manly tears, don’t mind me. ;_; You should know that it means a lot to get this sort of reaction from me: I very rarely get visibly emotional over TV and books and so on, and my feelings towards most of these characters are mixed at best, and I also have this built-in scepticism when it comes to the notion of love in DN fics – but despite all that, here I am. And that really just goes to show what an excellent job you did with this, and how even in the face of the enormous complexity and all the various intertwining threads, it all holds together and runs smoothly and – and it just works.
…Excuse me a minute. ;__;
I almost can’t believe that I’ve actually finished this thing, haha. It was hugely intimidating to start with, yet it seems to have gone so quickly… I will, as you both know, move on to 2B next – although I ought to warn you: I’m going to be busier than normal over the next month or so due to English coursework, so I may not be able to keep up the same pace that I’ve managed with this one. In any case, until the next time – and thank you for having the skill and the passion to write this. Much love. <3
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March 5, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 56: It is utterly unbelievable that L would give Light a tip like that. I’m with Matt on this one: it just seems complete insanity, especially given what happened just a day or so earlier. Sure, I understand how he feels about Light – it’s been made perfectly clear before now, and the story really would not work without that element – but it still gets me. It’s particularly obvious right now, too, since the betrayal (and yes, I’ll continue to think of it as such unless the situation changes significantly) is still so fresh in my mind. As for the scenes that followed… I’m going to be useless here, I should make that perfectly clear from the get go, because HOLY FUCKING SHIT I think I just exploded. X_X As you know, I love Mello and I love L and I love any and all interaction between them and I also ship them so hard – so it was a given that any sexual scenes between them would make me seriously bloody happy. However, it also seems to have given me heatstroke. Need a cold shower now. I don’t know whether I’ll even be able to communicate my feelings about this without getting incoherent, ridiculously fangirly or just far, far too excited… Granted, that wasn’t the extent of my reaction – a part of me facepalmed, because for the love of god Matt and Linda really deserve a break from this kind of thing, and it was pure genius (quite possibly of the evil kind) to have Light listening on the wire as well – but, well… suffice to say that my analytical abilities are not functioning all that well just now, and so I may easily have failed to pick up on something along the line. ._. I will say that all the delicious complications of it only made it that much better – Mello’s anger and suspicion and the issue of dominance and the feeling of it being somehow wrong as well as so good – just guh, hell yes. And the very last section made me completely thrilled, since no matter what results from this, it seems clear that there is a genuine attraction there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be off to have a bath in some ice. O_O
Chapter 57: Okay, I have given it a minute, and I think I’ve successfully calmed down enough to continue – although I wouldn’t get your hopes up all that much because my coherence is still severely lacking. I am in love with Mello and L right now. *_* I love how comfortable Mello feels when he wakes up, and how L only sleeps peacefully when he’s with someone else, and the memory of how Mello used to feel about L, and how he helps L after he throws up and how tender they are for that short while, and and and… *flails* I’m sorry, I must try to curb my inner fangirl a little more successfully than this, but it’s pretty difficult right around now. Light’s reaction to what he heard, while admittedly not detailed, has pissed me off quite a lot, because as far I can tell it’s just… hypocritical. To the extreme. And why, if Light thinks L belongs to him, was he totally fine and dandy with the idea of L sleeping with Linda? I mean, I know that helped to distract attention from Light’s plotting and so on, but… still. Well, that’s just my initial impression in any case, and since it was filtered through Misa it’s unlikely to show the whole picture. And sure enough, I can’t let this go by without commenting on it: I simply adore the way Mello has started looking at L and his habits in a completely new light, whilst retaining that tension resulting from the way they totally avoid the subject… it’s fun times for me, let me tell you. :D I also, surprisingly, really enjoyed seeing Mello in the mafia scenario. I’m not sure why; I suppose it was just entertaining and interesting to see him pull those strings and use that influence. It’s such a different situation than he’s been in so far, and like I’ve said before I just like seeing the different sides to the characters, so I think that might be it. The final scene was really enjoyable for that same reason, although it was a little frustrating what with Mello’s (possibly misplaced, although it’s really too early to say) bravado. How he manages to stay so cool in that situation is beyond me; personally, I was biting my fingernails – and I’m hardly in the firing zone over here. :P And it’s simultaneously nice and terrible to see your habit of horrible cliffhangers surface again… Thank god it’s Friday and I can stay up for longer. :D
Chapter 58: First of all I must say how very grateful I am to have Linda around, because she makes me feel less self-conscious about my own tendency to freak out whenever stuff goes down. XD; What with that, and my inability to find very much to say about action sequences, I anticipate that my comments on this section will not be especially insightful… I may or may not have cheered a little when L turned up, and his enigmatic response to Matt (“Close enough”) was one of those simultaneous laugh-and-facepalm moments. I honestly am not sure how to react to this level of bravado, because while I do trust them to take care of themselves, it would seem appropriate to at least show a modicum of concern. I freaking love L’s ninja-like abilities though, although I guess that goes without saying, since ninjas plus L can only ever equal awesome. And I was really not anticipating that Light would help them out like that – simply because it seemed so very unlikely that he would show up. Kind of funny that while it was actually going on, his biggest concern seemed to be getting back to sleep ASAP, though. XD And again, praise be to Linda, since she was pretty much the vehicle for my own squeamishness while L was being stitched up. I’m actually useless with this stuff, haha. The thought of the mob taking out Asian tourists at random is completely repulsive. It isn’t the first time that innocents have been involved in all this, but it seems to be on a greater scale than usual, and now I’m desperately hoping for some decisive action from the relevant parties, because there is a serious shitstorm on the horizon. On a not entirely unrelated note, I was a little disappointed to see some confrontation between Mello and L, but not really surprised: the way I see it, there’s just too much tension and frustration between them at the moment for it not to have happened. Even so they make me flail with happiness, because a) I am completely hopeless in this regard, and b) despite it all, they still do share that fundamental, contradictory attribute that means they can’t help but understand each other’s actions… although, as we all know, when it comes to these two I get slightly… well. _ I found the discussion of the Hamlet quotation very interesting, both of itself and in the context of this discussion as a whole: it really is perfect for this situation, with all the layers of complexity and confusion that are so very rife between L and Light. And, um. Foot sex. Yay indeed, I suppose.
Now, what is this I see here? I do believe that I only have a handful of chapters left to go… and it also happens to be the weekend. Well, fuck me sideways. :O I hesitate to make promises, but I daresay that I just might be able to finish this over the next few days… We shall most certainly see. 8D
Chapter 57: Okay, I have given it a minute, and I think I’ve successfully calmed down enough to continue – although I wouldn’t get your hopes up all that much because my coherence is still severely lacking. I am in love with Mello and L right now. *_* I love how comfortable Mello feels when he wakes up, and how L only sleeps peacefully when he’s with someone else, and the memory of how Mello used to feel about L, and how he helps L after he throws up and how tender they are for that short while, and and and… *flails* I’m sorry, I must try to curb my inner fangirl a little more successfully than this, but it’s pretty difficult right around now. Light’s reaction to what he heard, while admittedly not detailed, has pissed me off quite a lot, because as far I can tell it’s just… hypocritical. To the extreme. And why, if Light thinks L belongs to him, was he totally fine and dandy with the idea of L sleeping with Linda? I mean, I know that helped to distract attention from Light’s plotting and so on, but… still. Well, that’s just my initial impression in any case, and since it was filtered through Misa it’s unlikely to show the whole picture. And sure enough, I can’t let this go by without commenting on it: I simply adore the way Mello has started looking at L and his habits in a completely new light, whilst retaining that tension resulting from the way they totally avoid the subject… it’s fun times for me, let me tell you. :D I also, surprisingly, really enjoyed seeing Mello in the mafia scenario. I’m not sure why; I suppose it was just entertaining and interesting to see him pull those strings and use that influence. It’s such a different situation than he’s been in so far, and like I’ve said before I just like seeing the different sides to the characters, so I think that might be it. The final scene was really enjoyable for that same reason, although it was a little frustrating what with Mello’s (possibly misplaced, although it’s really too early to say) bravado. How he manages to stay so cool in that situation is beyond me; personally, I was biting my fingernails – and I’m hardly in the firing zone over here. :P And it’s simultaneously nice and terrible to see your habit of horrible cliffhangers surface again… Thank god it’s Friday and I can stay up for longer. :D
Chapter 58: First of all I must say how very grateful I am to have Linda around, because she makes me feel less self-conscious about my own tendency to freak out whenever stuff goes down. XD; What with that, and my inability to find very much to say about action sequences, I anticipate that my comments on this section will not be especially insightful… I may or may not have cheered a little when L turned up, and his enigmatic response to Matt (“Close enough”) was one of those simultaneous laugh-and-facepalm moments. I honestly am not sure how to react to this level of bravado, because while I do trust them to take care of themselves, it would seem appropriate to at least show a modicum of concern. I freaking love L’s ninja-like abilities though, although I guess that goes without saying, since ninjas plus L can only ever equal awesome. And I was really not anticipating that Light would help them out like that – simply because it seemed so very unlikely that he would show up. Kind of funny that while it was actually going on, his biggest concern seemed to be getting back to sleep ASAP, though. XD And again, praise be to Linda, since she was pretty much the vehicle for my own squeamishness while L was being stitched up. I’m actually useless with this stuff, haha. The thought of the mob taking out Asian tourists at random is completely repulsive. It isn’t the first time that innocents have been involved in all this, but it seems to be on a greater scale than usual, and now I’m desperately hoping for some decisive action from the relevant parties, because there is a serious shitstorm on the horizon. On a not entirely unrelated note, I was a little disappointed to see some confrontation between Mello and L, but not really surprised: the way I see it, there’s just too much tension and frustration between them at the moment for it not to have happened. Even so they make me flail with happiness, because a) I am completely hopeless in this regard, and b) despite it all, they still do share that fundamental, contradictory attribute that means they can’t help but understand each other’s actions… although, as we all know, when it comes to these two I get slightly… well. _ I found the discussion of the Hamlet quotation very interesting, both of itself and in the context of this discussion as a whole: it really is perfect for this situation, with all the layers of complexity and confusion that are so very rife between L and Light. And, um. Foot sex. Yay indeed, I suppose.
Now, what is this I see here? I do believe that I only have a handful of chapters left to go… and it also happens to be the weekend. Well, fuck me sideways. :O I hesitate to make promises, but I daresay that I just might be able to finish this over the next few days… We shall most certainly see. 8D
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March 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 53: I really don’t know what to make of the way Mello simply let Light leave… There’s something very poignant about it, something beneath the surface that I’m not quite able to pin down in a way that satisfies me, but nevertheless something vital. I admit that I haven’t spent much time over the last few chapters wondering what Light plans to do next – I’ve been too busy freaking the fuck out, as you may have gathered – but it’s evident that whatever it is, it’s motivated by the desire to put things right. It’s the working out exactly what that entails that’s eluding me. In any case I’m anxious about it, and I don’t trust a lot of the reasons he’s given for this betrayal (and it seems ironic that I see it in those terms despite what instinct would have me feel about it) so on some level I’m furious with Mello about this. Even so, the fact that he’s obviously so conflicted means that I have a lot of pity for him, and so once again I’m left flailing for an appropriate response. D: As ever, the interaction between L and Mello gave me warm fuzzy feelings for no good reason – although there is always so much subtext there, lurking beneath the few words spoken, and it makes me happy in a way that I can’t resist. I’m not entirely sure why the revelation over Matt’s amphetamine use failed to surprise me: in fact, it feels like it makes a lot of sense, although I can’t really work out why that is. And oh god, I cannot work out what I ought to be most concerned about at the moment – it’s one great fuck-up of monumental proportions, and not only are there all the external threats to worry about, but the psychological state of almost everyone seems really fragile. I feel so, so bad for L right now. ;_; I can’t imagine what he’s feeling, although I’m guessing there’s an element of guilt there over getting the others involved, alongside the obvious betrayal. It’s surprising even to me, but I’m a little sad to see the obvious tension between Matt and Mello: their relationship has suffered a lot, and so far as I can see Matt hasn’t done anything to deserve it. It’s a shit situation all round. If it’s true that Light is after Bella – and although I don’t see many other possibilities, that probably doesn’t mean much given how useless I am at predicting events – well, I’m rather excited about that, since it’s been absolutely ages since anything happened there and I was getting antsy over the amount of time they’ve all spent seemingly ignoring that problem. And yes, of course, I adored the way Mello and L interacted. It was strangely, ironically touching to see Mello’s no-nonsense attitude over L’s behaviour – it’s pretty obvious that L is not in a good place and that everyone, including Mello, is fretting over it, but somehow I think that the way Mello dealt with it was appropriate. But really, I could see them in pretty much any situation and I would still fangirl them so much. XD;
Chapter 54: Man, it feels like forever since L last disguised himself… I still love it: it’s a delicious mental image, and it says a lot about how much of himself he normally keeps secret – split personality seems unlikely, so I’m staying with the theory that he simply has a lot of hidden talents – plus the idea of the “detective war” has always been slightly amusing to me. I was really surprised to see L apologising, as well: sure, it had been wrong of him to say what he did in front of everyone, but it’s not like it’s the first time he’s done something of that nature, and he’s never apologised before. I’m uncertain how to react to the rest of the scene, though. L and Matt don’t tend to interact alone, so I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from a confrontation of this type, and I was a little taken aback by the amount of tension there. I suppose it’s only natural that there would be a certain amount of ill-feeling – although it’s nice to see the concern and the determination to see it through still present. It seems that those are two things that Matt can be relied upon for. The glimpse of Light’s situation was actually somewhat frustrating – unsurprisingly awesome dream sequence aside – because everyone is aware that things are not as they should be, and yet the impossibility of setting things right is as obvious as ever… it’s driving me mad, haha. That small section with L and Linda was such a wonderful little slice of adorableness (that probably isn’t a word, but it should be so shh :P) It’s always a surprise when the mood turns all relaxed and cuddly like that, but I enjoy it all the same. The mention of Veronique has me greatly intrigued – of course, I don’t know how important she’ll turn out to be, but it’s certainly caught my attention. Also, the revelation that Mello is now to play Deneuve’s lover initially made me go like this: \o/ and then made me go like this: XDDDD Perfection. What with that, plus the intrigue over Veronique, I am eagerly anticipating this particular dinner date.
Chapter 55: I cannot believe that Light had the balls to just… turn up like that. What a bastard. It’s brilliant. I never get tired of this story, truly: there’s always something just around the corner that’ll surprise me, or make me go “aww”, or make me confused as to whether I love these characters or hate them. XD Really, it’s hardly the most outrageous thing he’s ever done, but still, it’s… ballsy. To say the least. Again, L’s disguise was absolutely great and so much fun – not to mention that, while I can’t quite picture it, the little that I can imagine is very appealing. L with long red hair? Unusual yes, but hell, I’d go for that. :D Veronique seems to be another interesting one, although she’s reminding me a lot of Bella at the moment… Seriously though, the amount of sexuality in the air what with her, Mello and L all doing their thing was downright stifling. Surprising no-one, least of all myself, I found myself pulling stupidly happy expressions over Mello and L’s interaction just then – like I said earlier, I don’t really care about the situation; if it’s those two, I’ll enjoy it – and this was so different from how they normally are in this fic that I got a little *too* excited, haha. And L’s new demeanour is completely blowing my mind. I’m making sure to keep calling him L in my head because otherwise I think I’d forget that it’s still him – everything about him is so utterly different, not least the way he speaks, that it’s genuinely disconcerting. As expected, things got pretty intense pretty quickly; although I appreciate that Mello rose to Veronique’s challenge (and by that I’m referring to her asking what his favourite position is) and his actual answer was bloody fantastic, I’m still squirming a little with second-hand embarrassment for those listening. ._. As ever, they proved to be extremely resourceful: L’s way of communicating the Kira warning to Mello, and Mello’s method of passing that on to Matt, were both really cleverly and subtly done. It’s kind of silly that I still feel proud of them for pulling tricks like that when I ought to expect nothing less, but most often their little ploys are just too well-performed for me not to comment on them. There was so much wonderful irony in the discussion about Kira and L, and so much suggestion in everyone’s words and actions… this scene has exceeded my expectations, and let me tell you I was really looking forward to it. And it probably goes without saying that their last kiss made me go “Freaking YES.” 8D Of course, there are a lot of questions raised by this chapter – most prominent being how and why L gave Light the tip-off… it’s getting really interesting, and I can’t wait to learn more, but midnight approaches so I’ll have to call this a night. :3
Chapter 54: Man, it feels like forever since L last disguised himself… I still love it: it’s a delicious mental image, and it says a lot about how much of himself he normally keeps secret – split personality seems unlikely, so I’m staying with the theory that he simply has a lot of hidden talents – plus the idea of the “detective war” has always been slightly amusing to me. I was really surprised to see L apologising, as well: sure, it had been wrong of him to say what he did in front of everyone, but it’s not like it’s the first time he’s done something of that nature, and he’s never apologised before. I’m uncertain how to react to the rest of the scene, though. L and Matt don’t tend to interact alone, so I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from a confrontation of this type, and I was a little taken aback by the amount of tension there. I suppose it’s only natural that there would be a certain amount of ill-feeling – although it’s nice to see the concern and the determination to see it through still present. It seems that those are two things that Matt can be relied upon for. The glimpse of Light’s situation was actually somewhat frustrating – unsurprisingly awesome dream sequence aside – because everyone is aware that things are not as they should be, and yet the impossibility of setting things right is as obvious as ever… it’s driving me mad, haha. That small section with L and Linda was such a wonderful little slice of adorableness (that probably isn’t a word, but it should be so shh :P) It’s always a surprise when the mood turns all relaxed and cuddly like that, but I enjoy it all the same. The mention of Veronique has me greatly intrigued – of course, I don’t know how important she’ll turn out to be, but it’s certainly caught my attention. Also, the revelation that Mello is now to play Deneuve’s lover initially made me go like this: \o/ and then made me go like this: XDDDD Perfection. What with that, plus the intrigue over Veronique, I am eagerly anticipating this particular dinner date.
Chapter 55: I cannot believe that Light had the balls to just… turn up like that. What a bastard. It’s brilliant. I never get tired of this story, truly: there’s always something just around the corner that’ll surprise me, or make me go “aww”, or make me confused as to whether I love these characters or hate them. XD Really, it’s hardly the most outrageous thing he’s ever done, but still, it’s… ballsy. To say the least. Again, L’s disguise was absolutely great and so much fun – not to mention that, while I can’t quite picture it, the little that I can imagine is very appealing. L with long red hair? Unusual yes, but hell, I’d go for that. :D Veronique seems to be another interesting one, although she’s reminding me a lot of Bella at the moment… Seriously though, the amount of sexuality in the air what with her, Mello and L all doing their thing was downright stifling. Surprising no-one, least of all myself, I found myself pulling stupidly happy expressions over Mello and L’s interaction just then – like I said earlier, I don’t really care about the situation; if it’s those two, I’ll enjoy it – and this was so different from how they normally are in this fic that I got a little *too* excited, haha. And L’s new demeanour is completely blowing my mind. I’m making sure to keep calling him L in my head because otherwise I think I’d forget that it’s still him – everything about him is so utterly different, not least the way he speaks, that it’s genuinely disconcerting. As expected, things got pretty intense pretty quickly; although I appreciate that Mello rose to Veronique’s challenge (and by that I’m referring to her asking what his favourite position is) and his actual answer was bloody fantastic, I’m still squirming a little with second-hand embarrassment for those listening. ._. As ever, they proved to be extremely resourceful: L’s way of communicating the Kira warning to Mello, and Mello’s method of passing that on to Matt, were both really cleverly and subtly done. It’s kind of silly that I still feel proud of them for pulling tricks like that when I ought to expect nothing less, but most often their little ploys are just too well-performed for me not to comment on them. There was so much wonderful irony in the discussion about Kira and L, and so much suggestion in everyone’s words and actions… this scene has exceeded my expectations, and let me tell you I was really looking forward to it. And it probably goes without saying that their last kiss made me go “Freaking YES.” 8D Of course, there are a lot of questions raised by this chapter – most prominent being how and why L gave Light the tip-off… it’s getting really interesting, and I can’t wait to learn more, but midnight approaches so I’ll have to call this a night. :3
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February 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 49: Oh man, I know I’ve been looking forward to some confrontation between Matt and Light forever, but even so I liked this more than I was expecting to. For some reason (and this probably says quite a lot about me) I found it deeply satisfying to see them at each other’s throats… Yeah, that almost certainly makes me a bad person. But hey, whatever, right? That was either the worst or the best possible time for them to see L and Linda, haha. That surprised me quite a bit – I mean sure, everyone was more than aware of her feelings for him – it’s just that neither they nor I really anticipated that L would reciprocate. I appreciated the inversion of that scene – L being watched rather than watching others doing the deed, for a change – and the way Light was so amused by the whole thing made it so much better. Hard on the others, particularly Matt, but better all the same… I’m still a bad person, aren’t I? ._. Linda’s reaction to it afterwards was deeply endearing in that embarrassed, flustered kind of way that I find so cute: despite the apparent determination of everyone else to erode her innocence, she still has that kind of quality in her, and I think that’s definitely a good thing. I loved that L turned the camera off for her, too – so considerate, although I’d imagine that being watched at that particular moment would be the least of her worries considering everything the others saw already. And yes, it really is all going Light’s way right now, isn’t it? I can’t really decide how I feel about all this: I love the conflict, but at the same time I get all outraged whenever serious plotting or general deviousness takes place. It is pretty shocking to think that it could be so easy for him to use the notebook right there, while being observed and everything, but I can’t decide whether it’s amazing or just frustrating. Pffft, I’m so confused. I’m equally uncertain over how to respond to the way everyone’s kind of ignoring what happened with L and Linda. It could be that they all just want to save her some embarrassment, which is definitely good, but I’m finding it hard to believe that Light would do that. I’m thinking right now that it’s simply because he’s up to something and doesn’t want to draw attention to it, but still. He’s never had any qualms about causing chaos and humiliation before, and he was always up to something then, as well. And I think it’s safe to say that I now have absolutely no idea what to think. I was already unsure whether B is in fact responsible for the goings on, and Light’s little speech over dinner didn’t help. It seemed really convincing, but then again of course he’d make it seem that way because he wants them to think it, but it’s not like he invented any of it, and I don’t see how Misa could have done some of this stuff, but I understand that I CANNOT TRUST LIGHT… argh! *combusts* Either way, I’m not too thrilled about the concept of L going out to search. B or not, that scene will terrify me. I just know it. :(
Chapter 50: Poor Linda… again. I say that a lot, don’t I? But she’s so sensitive, and L… isn’t, and I don’t know, I feel like since it’s been less than a day and she’s already fretting so much about L not actually caring, it might not go so well. :( The way L deduced what was going on was epic: it shows exactly how he thinks, and getting to witness it out loud was really awesome. Also I’m totally proud of him (even though I don’t really expect any less and I kind of took it for granted that he wouldn’t let the little matter of being scared out of his wits interfere with his logic) and I think that things will probably get more interesting now that he’s on to Light. :D But the way Light spoke to Mello about the hit… ugh. I’m still not over that whole business, and it’s absolutely bloody typical for Light to be rubbing it in everyone’s face. Just… ugh. The way he talks about L and Linda is kind of similar actually, now that I look at it. I guess he has no reason to change tactics, since it’s been proven to work. As for the rest of that scene… well, I’m not sure whether it’s good or bad that I clearly remember your little shoot based on it (it has got to be fairly old by now, but I guess I have a good memory for these things). It was good in that I had a really vivid image of it in my head (I’m not a visual sort of person at all, so the shoot really helped with that for me), but the disadvantage was that I knew what was coming, so events that ought to have been surprising… weren’t. Regardless, it was incredibly sexy, and I’m ashamed to admit that I still found it hot after the actual sex was over. I imagine you’ve picked up on this by now, but I like it when they fight, and I like it in a way that probably isn’t appropriate. So I may or may not have been cheering them on in my head. _ Light is incorrigible regardless, and I imagine that if Matt’s blood pressure gets much higher he’s going to literally hit the roof. I liked the way L stepped in, too – he seems pretty secure in his role as alpha male at the moment, which is nice. As for Matt, well he just seems so furious that he’s not sure what to do. Even when he’s as angry with Mello as he obviously was here, he still never really does much about it, and in this instance some of his speech still sounded – well, loving. I’ve been trying to work him out for a while, since I’m not really sure of his motivations and the reasoning behind how he acts, and I’ll admit it’s still a little unclear to me – right now his loyalty seems kind of unwarranted.
Chapter 51: Gaaahhhh, I am so freaked out right now. D: The way they swept the house helped to prevent me from losing it completely, since it was comfortingly methodical as opposed to the sort of slow wariness punctuated with brief moments of terror that has characterised their experiences since the alert was first raised – but it was still horribly tense. When I found out that Misa had indeed been hiding in the bed all along, I slapped my forehead so hard that it still stings a bit. XD; I’m torn between massive frustration and being impressed at the witchcraft that must have taken place to keep her from being spotted all this time. The pieces don’t quite fit, though – there are still some loose ends that don’t make sense unless B is factored in somewhere. Of course, it’s entirely possible that I’m just telling myself that because I don’t want to admit that I got this freaked out over Misa, of all people. ._. The actual SPK deaths were utterly gruesome. I started feeling physically ill at one point, and it got really hard to force myself to keep reading. I have no stomach for gore, as I think has also been made clear already, so this was… tricky. Seeing as it was probably one of the most horrific things I’ve ever read. (I’m suddenly very glad that I’m not eating at the moment, like I normally do while I read, since that probably wouldn’t have been the wisest of moves.) Considering that I was already completely beside myself, the developments from then on very nearly made me snap… actually, that may be giving myself too much credit, since at one point during the debacle I actually went “FUUUUUUUCK” out loud. I’m utterly horrified. I knew all along that it was ridiculous to hope that something of this kind wouldn’t happen at some point, but still…The scene with Light and Mello made me go all wibbly too, because damn it if it didn’t seem like there may actually have been some hope there… which isn’t to say that I’ve totally lost hope, I’m just distraught because it all seems so unnecessary somehow. ;_; And, as always, poor Linda. I don’t like to imagine what I’d be like in her situation… X_X
Chapter 52: First of all, I have to say that I’m impressed by Mello’s flexibility, especially considering how tight his pants always are. That’s not relevant at all, it just struck me, haha. The dialogue between Light and L was even more painful to read than that one scene with Light and Mello in the last chapter. It’s that sense of disappointment, of pain and betrayal and deep anger, that makes it so tragic, and it makes me wonder how it could ever have seemed so harmonious. The shift into sexual territory wasn’t particularly surprising to me, given what I know about them, the way Light tends to behave in these situations and the fact that it was quite possibly the perfect way to make a point just then, but it was still deeply unsettling and disturbing in just the right sort of way. It was the best kind of mindfuck, I suppose. Mello’s performance has been all-around impressive, really: ignoring the fact that it made me get squeamish all over again, he was remarkably determined in his attempts to get free and for some reason that made me proud. The little bit of dialogue before Light gave L the injection was just… oh my god. Why do you do this? The quote was perfect. That was beautiful. I’m crying. I totally can’t deal with this. Trying to avoid keysmashing, but… I can’t find a way to convey how I feel right now. It’s a physical pain. I’m like this over the scene with Light and Mello, too – how terribly, horribly fucked everything is now when on some level it looks like everyone wanted to believe it could all be alright somehow. Light’s little bit of sadism with Matt and the cigarettes was completely awful – although it actually brought my mind back to the first time they met, all that time ago, and the dispute they had over the cigarettes then… I don’t know whether that was intentional on your part, but it worked for me. And yes, Misa has officially snapped, although that was fairly apparent the first time she appeared. She’s obviously a bit of an uncontrollable element here. Just what we need. :|
Trying to go to sleep now is going to be a task and a half, but this time it’s less to do with fear and more to do with the fact that I’m just so jittery and anguished and worked up over everything. Mission accomplished for you guys, I suppose, but still. *shakes fist*
;_;
Chapter 50: Poor Linda… again. I say that a lot, don’t I? But she’s so sensitive, and L… isn’t, and I don’t know, I feel like since it’s been less than a day and she’s already fretting so much about L not actually caring, it might not go so well. :( The way L deduced what was going on was epic: it shows exactly how he thinks, and getting to witness it out loud was really awesome. Also I’m totally proud of him (even though I don’t really expect any less and I kind of took it for granted that he wouldn’t let the little matter of being scared out of his wits interfere with his logic) and I think that things will probably get more interesting now that he’s on to Light. :D But the way Light spoke to Mello about the hit… ugh. I’m still not over that whole business, and it’s absolutely bloody typical for Light to be rubbing it in everyone’s face. Just… ugh. The way he talks about L and Linda is kind of similar actually, now that I look at it. I guess he has no reason to change tactics, since it’s been proven to work. As for the rest of that scene… well, I’m not sure whether it’s good or bad that I clearly remember your little shoot based on it (it has got to be fairly old by now, but I guess I have a good memory for these things). It was good in that I had a really vivid image of it in my head (I’m not a visual sort of person at all, so the shoot really helped with that for me), but the disadvantage was that I knew what was coming, so events that ought to have been surprising… weren’t. Regardless, it was incredibly sexy, and I’m ashamed to admit that I still found it hot after the actual sex was over. I imagine you’ve picked up on this by now, but I like it when they fight, and I like it in a way that probably isn’t appropriate. So I may or may not have been cheering them on in my head. _ Light is incorrigible regardless, and I imagine that if Matt’s blood pressure gets much higher he’s going to literally hit the roof. I liked the way L stepped in, too – he seems pretty secure in his role as alpha male at the moment, which is nice. As for Matt, well he just seems so furious that he’s not sure what to do. Even when he’s as angry with Mello as he obviously was here, he still never really does much about it, and in this instance some of his speech still sounded – well, loving. I’ve been trying to work him out for a while, since I’m not really sure of his motivations and the reasoning behind how he acts, and I’ll admit it’s still a little unclear to me – right now his loyalty seems kind of unwarranted.
Chapter 51: Gaaahhhh, I am so freaked out right now. D: The way they swept the house helped to prevent me from losing it completely, since it was comfortingly methodical as opposed to the sort of slow wariness punctuated with brief moments of terror that has characterised their experiences since the alert was first raised – but it was still horribly tense. When I found out that Misa had indeed been hiding in the bed all along, I slapped my forehead so hard that it still stings a bit. XD; I’m torn between massive frustration and being impressed at the witchcraft that must have taken place to keep her from being spotted all this time. The pieces don’t quite fit, though – there are still some loose ends that don’t make sense unless B is factored in somewhere. Of course, it’s entirely possible that I’m just telling myself that because I don’t want to admit that I got this freaked out over Misa, of all people. ._. The actual SPK deaths were utterly gruesome. I started feeling physically ill at one point, and it got really hard to force myself to keep reading. I have no stomach for gore, as I think has also been made clear already, so this was… tricky. Seeing as it was probably one of the most horrific things I’ve ever read. (I’m suddenly very glad that I’m not eating at the moment, like I normally do while I read, since that probably wouldn’t have been the wisest of moves.) Considering that I was already completely beside myself, the developments from then on very nearly made me snap… actually, that may be giving myself too much credit, since at one point during the debacle I actually went “FUUUUUUUCK” out loud. I’m utterly horrified. I knew all along that it was ridiculous to hope that something of this kind wouldn’t happen at some point, but still…The scene with Light and Mello made me go all wibbly too, because damn it if it didn’t seem like there may actually have been some hope there… which isn’t to say that I’ve totally lost hope, I’m just distraught because it all seems so unnecessary somehow. ;_; And, as always, poor Linda. I don’t like to imagine what I’d be like in her situation… X_X
Chapter 52: First of all, I have to say that I’m impressed by Mello’s flexibility, especially considering how tight his pants always are. That’s not relevant at all, it just struck me, haha. The dialogue between Light and L was even more painful to read than that one scene with Light and Mello in the last chapter. It’s that sense of disappointment, of pain and betrayal and deep anger, that makes it so tragic, and it makes me wonder how it could ever have seemed so harmonious. The shift into sexual territory wasn’t particularly surprising to me, given what I know about them, the way Light tends to behave in these situations and the fact that it was quite possibly the perfect way to make a point just then, but it was still deeply unsettling and disturbing in just the right sort of way. It was the best kind of mindfuck, I suppose. Mello’s performance has been all-around impressive, really: ignoring the fact that it made me get squeamish all over again, he was remarkably determined in his attempts to get free and for some reason that made me proud. The little bit of dialogue before Light gave L the injection was just… oh my god. Why do you do this? The quote was perfect. That was beautiful. I’m crying. I totally can’t deal with this. Trying to avoid keysmashing, but… I can’t find a way to convey how I feel right now. It’s a physical pain. I’m like this over the scene with Light and Mello, too – how terribly, horribly fucked everything is now when on some level it looks like everyone wanted to believe it could all be alright somehow. Light’s little bit of sadism with Matt and the cigarettes was completely awful – although it actually brought my mind back to the first time they met, all that time ago, and the dispute they had over the cigarettes then… I don’t know whether that was intentional on your part, but it worked for me. And yes, Misa has officially snapped, although that was fairly apparent the first time she appeared. She’s obviously a bit of an uncontrollable element here. Just what we need. :|
Trying to go to sleep now is going to be a task and a half, but this time it’s less to do with fear and more to do with the fact that I’m just so jittery and anguished and worked up over everything. Mission accomplished for you guys, I suppose, but still. *shakes fist*
;_;
schedule
February 18, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 46: It’s incredible how much things have changed since the beginning of the fic – the transition has happened very naturally, so it wasn’t immediately apparent to me until I stopped to really consider it – the earliest chapters would never have led me to think that at some point (almost) everyone would be this worried over Light’s wellbeing. Matt seems to be the only one whose attitude hasn’t changed, and it’s notable that he’s also the one who’s had the least interaction with Light so far. I’m starting to wonder whether that too will change at some point, but for now his stance is nicely straightforward. Light’s dream, however, was absolutely brilliant. It seems that you do a line in meaningful, nuanced and disturbing dream sequences, and this was no exception. I find it a bit of a concern how well I can relate to Light in his current situation (although I’ve always been able to relate to him up to a point) – he’s in precisely the state of powerlessness that he finds such a threat, and then there’s this growing obsession with B which really cannot be healthy. Speaking of which… Misa. Her appearance made my jaw drop, and that was only my shock at how unexpectedly she showed up; as for the revelation that she’s made herself look like L, well I can’t help but find that deeply worrying. It’s fairly characteristic of her way of thinking, but that way of thinking was never what I would call logical – and after everything that’s happened to her over the years it isn’t surprising that she’s now even more unbalanced. The notion of a face-off between Misa and Mello was not one that had occurred to me before now – and it was just as I was adjusting to that idea that Light made his move. Argh! Ok, so I suppose it isn’t all that surprising right now – given that he wants to feel in control, spending a bit of time with Misa would appear to be an obvious solution – but god damn, I hope he comes around at some point. After all, he also loves a challenge, and Misa can’t hope to give him that on the same level as L & co. can. It’s disquieting how easy it was for him to fool everyone, though: his behaviour at the end of the chapter, while a little more melodramatic than he usually is when he’s being genuine, seemed to work remarkably well, and I can’t see how L and the others are going to be able to work this one out before it’s too late. It’s got me very concerned.
Chapter 47: I wasn’t really expecting Mello to turn on Matt the way he did, and I have to admit I’m not really sure what he’s talking about – surely if one of them is all over the place, they all are, so why the sudden accusation of Matt when he’s possibly the most sure of himself just now? The way L drops his bombshell directly before leaving is absolutely typical, and normally it’s the kind of thing that I would find funny, but under these circumstances that response would be somewhat inappropriate. I can’t see that Light will take his “therapy” with Linda very seriously – although he did confess what had happened with the SPK and in his nightmare, the way he took the opportunity to turn the heat onto her, whilst not hesitating to embarrass her over her feelings, goes to show that he doesn’t exactly appreciate being in the situation to begin with – or maybe that kind of behaviour is just instinctual by now. XD The thought that Light is having so much trouble because of a fear of inadequacy is so ironic, but also very sad. His ego isn’t indestructible after all – and it’s a vicious circle, isn’t it, because he hates seeing that weakness and it only makes him more unsure of himself. Linda’s inadvertent innuendoes were amazing, incidentally. That kind of thing is so much more amusing coming from the mouth of someone like her – someone likely to get embarrassed. Awww. XD But it really gets to me how flawlessly Light is covering up the incident with Misa. I’m aware that I should never have trusted him to begin with, but still. And the scene with L in the cottage house was TERRIFYING. It’s scary in a classic horror kind of way – the menacing presence lurking in the shadows and so on – and in a psychological way – the notion of B being a reflection, and that being what scares L so much – it’s done really well, but I’m slightly too busy quaking in my boots to expand on it very much. If this is what I’m like now, God knows what reading 2B will do to me. Jesus. X_X I have to say, if that is still Misa – and I don’t have many logical reasons to think otherwise – then she is doing a damn good job – assuming her task was to make me fetch my teddy for comfort, that is. XD
Chapter 48: I… I can’t decide whether or not I ought to be this scared – although I suppose that’s irrelevant, and the important thing is that I am. Petrified. And seeing how scared the characters are isn’t really helping. XD I don’t know what to think now, because if the intruder really is Misa, what about the second sound? It seems unlikely to be coincidence. So in that case, does that mean that B really is lurking? And Misa too? Holy shit. And Linda is *still* adorable. I don’t blame her for not wanting to sleep alone – in fact, I really don’t have a leg to stand on there. (*clutches teddy* _) And goddammit, I really should not be reading this in the middle of the night, should I? I can’t deny that I was freaking out right along with Linda there – although at least if someone had actually been there it would have released the tension; as it is, it’s just winding up and up, and I’m going a little bit crazy. And then the whatever-it-was that Mello saw in Light’s bed… oh my god oh my god. I may have just peed a little. D8 The situation between Light and Mello is starting to seem fairly impossible, what with the trouble they both have admitting their own feelings – for me, that little piece of contradictory behaviour (when Mello said he had work to do whilst curling up with Light) is somewhat symbolic of the entirety of their relationship as it stands right now. The revelation that there was indeed someone in Light’s room made me raise an eyebrow, since if it does turn out to be Misa, she must have witnessed that entire conversation. I’m not sure whether it was enough to seal anyone’s fate, but she’d probably have a few questions to ask there, I imagine. :P I’ll admit to being really excited about finally seeing some sparks fly between Matt and Light; feels like I’ve been waiting forever there, haha. After such a long build-up, it seems almost silly that such a childish dispute ended up being the trigger, but I was so happy just to see it happen that it really doesn’t matter. At last! :D
And now it is past 2 a.m. again, and I have to go and try to sleep. After reading these chapters. Damn it all to hell. ;_;
Chapter 47: I wasn’t really expecting Mello to turn on Matt the way he did, and I have to admit I’m not really sure what he’s talking about – surely if one of them is all over the place, they all are, so why the sudden accusation of Matt when he’s possibly the most sure of himself just now? The way L drops his bombshell directly before leaving is absolutely typical, and normally it’s the kind of thing that I would find funny, but under these circumstances that response would be somewhat inappropriate. I can’t see that Light will take his “therapy” with Linda very seriously – although he did confess what had happened with the SPK and in his nightmare, the way he took the opportunity to turn the heat onto her, whilst not hesitating to embarrass her over her feelings, goes to show that he doesn’t exactly appreciate being in the situation to begin with – or maybe that kind of behaviour is just instinctual by now. XD The thought that Light is having so much trouble because of a fear of inadequacy is so ironic, but also very sad. His ego isn’t indestructible after all – and it’s a vicious circle, isn’t it, because he hates seeing that weakness and it only makes him more unsure of himself. Linda’s inadvertent innuendoes were amazing, incidentally. That kind of thing is so much more amusing coming from the mouth of someone like her – someone likely to get embarrassed. Awww. XD But it really gets to me how flawlessly Light is covering up the incident with Misa. I’m aware that I should never have trusted him to begin with, but still. And the scene with L in the cottage house was TERRIFYING. It’s scary in a classic horror kind of way – the menacing presence lurking in the shadows and so on – and in a psychological way – the notion of B being a reflection, and that being what scares L so much – it’s done really well, but I’m slightly too busy quaking in my boots to expand on it very much. If this is what I’m like now, God knows what reading 2B will do to me. Jesus. X_X I have to say, if that is still Misa – and I don’t have many logical reasons to think otherwise – then she is doing a damn good job – assuming her task was to make me fetch my teddy for comfort, that is. XD
Chapter 48: I… I can’t decide whether or not I ought to be this scared – although I suppose that’s irrelevant, and the important thing is that I am. Petrified. And seeing how scared the characters are isn’t really helping. XD I don’t know what to think now, because if the intruder really is Misa, what about the second sound? It seems unlikely to be coincidence. So in that case, does that mean that B really is lurking? And Misa too? Holy shit. And Linda is *still* adorable. I don’t blame her for not wanting to sleep alone – in fact, I really don’t have a leg to stand on there. (*clutches teddy* _) And goddammit, I really should not be reading this in the middle of the night, should I? I can’t deny that I was freaking out right along with Linda there – although at least if someone had actually been there it would have released the tension; as it is, it’s just winding up and up, and I’m going a little bit crazy. And then the whatever-it-was that Mello saw in Light’s bed… oh my god oh my god. I may have just peed a little. D8 The situation between Light and Mello is starting to seem fairly impossible, what with the trouble they both have admitting their own feelings – for me, that little piece of contradictory behaviour (when Mello said he had work to do whilst curling up with Light) is somewhat symbolic of the entirety of their relationship as it stands right now. The revelation that there was indeed someone in Light’s room made me raise an eyebrow, since if it does turn out to be Misa, she must have witnessed that entire conversation. I’m not sure whether it was enough to seal anyone’s fate, but she’d probably have a few questions to ask there, I imagine. :P I’ll admit to being really excited about finally seeing some sparks fly between Matt and Light; feels like I’ve been waiting forever there, haha. After such a long build-up, it seems almost silly that such a childish dispute ended up being the trigger, but I was so happy just to see it happen that it really doesn’t matter. At last! :D
And now it is past 2 a.m. again, and I have to go and try to sleep. After reading these chapters. Damn it all to hell. ;_;
schedule
February 17, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 4
Forgot to say in the last review, I see how Mello and Light met then... hm yeah, when someone stucks his dick down on someone else's throat, chances are they are gonna get a payback.
This was once again a brilliant chapter. I'm guessing that all your damn chapters are.
I was so shocked with L's appearence, I knew beforehand that he'd be able to switch into different looks, but I wasn't expecting it so soon nor in this context. Awesome.
And the trick with the apple was pure GENIOUS. I realized what it was as soon as you mentioned apples. So so good.
Chapter 5
I really, really love and admire the fact that you write like you do. For you to write L's assumptions and theories in a believable way, obviously you need to think of them first, and that prooves that you really work hard on this fic (well, that should be obvious by now, one doesn't have two fics so immense as these without have planned and thought and work), so, all I have to say is that you two are really amazing writers, and are actually not only inspiring me as well as helping me with the improving of my writing.
Woo, I can't wait to see Light's answer.
Chapter 6
Woo, so much has happened on this chapter, or perhaps not so much, but since I read it in 3 days, I guess things seem longer.
Anyways and perhaps because of that, the review of this one is gonna be even more obvious than the previous ones, the writing and flawless and amazing during the entire chapter, Light/Kira using his charms for Mello was amazing. I kept wondering where Light might have hidden the piece of the notebook, Kira sure is one hell of a guy, like Mello said, he's got balls. And all L's thoughts about Light were so sad and believable. I loved how you kept using Light as "light" of L's life, and indeed, something I always thought about L and Light's relationship, doesn't matter if lovers or not, is that they really have that love-hate relation since they are always playing games and competing. Loosing one definately drives the other one lonely and more importantly, bored.
Forgot to say in the last review, I see how Mello and Light met then... hm yeah, when someone stucks his dick down on someone else's throat, chances are they are gonna get a payback.
This was once again a brilliant chapter. I'm guessing that all your damn chapters are.
I was so shocked with L's appearence, I knew beforehand that he'd be able to switch into different looks, but I wasn't expecting it so soon nor in this context. Awesome.
And the trick with the apple was pure GENIOUS. I realized what it was as soon as you mentioned apples. So so good.
Chapter 5
I really, really love and admire the fact that you write like you do. For you to write L's assumptions and theories in a believable way, obviously you need to think of them first, and that prooves that you really work hard on this fic (well, that should be obvious by now, one doesn't have two fics so immense as these without have planned and thought and work), so, all I have to say is that you two are really amazing writers, and are actually not only inspiring me as well as helping me with the improving of my writing.
Woo, I can't wait to see Light's answer.
Chapter 6
Woo, so much has happened on this chapter, or perhaps not so much, but since I read it in 3 days, I guess things seem longer.
Anyways and perhaps because of that, the review of this one is gonna be even more obvious than the previous ones, the writing and flawless and amazing during the entire chapter, Light/Kira using his charms for Mello was amazing. I kept wondering where Light might have hidden the piece of the notebook, Kira sure is one hell of a guy, like Mello said, he's got balls. And all L's thoughts about Light were so sad and believable. I loved how you kept using Light as "light" of L's life, and indeed, something I always thought about L and Light's relationship, doesn't matter if lovers or not, is that they really have that love-hate relation since they are always playing games and competing. Loosing one definately drives the other one lonely and more importantly, bored.
schedule
February 17, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 42: I am doing my utmost to wrap my mind around the thought of L on horseback, but it kind of isn’t happening just now. I’m not sure why it’s such a problem, given that there have been quite a few other surprises regarding him that I’ve had no trouble accepting – it may just be a personal bias actually, since I am not fond of horses (I’m allergic and have decided to blame them for it. :P) The idea that everything Light has been doing is all an act… I’m not sure I’d even really considered it, but yikes. That is a deeply scary notion. Personally if it turned out to be true I think I’d feel rather betrayed, but that doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense so never mind. In any case, I’m kind of ashamed at how shitty I’ve been at working out the psychology for myself, but the second explanation L gave does seem to solve everything – in short, I feel almost exactly the same way about it as Mello does. Interesting, that. It has been fairly apparent for a while now that feelings exist between him and Light, but the way they’ve been avoiding the fact is quite typical – and I can’t blame them for it, given how massively complicated it makes things between them as a pair and within the group as a whole. The interaction between L and Light was great: I really enjoy the way they mess with each other constantly, with their games and façades, whilst at the same time expressing so much in subtext… Awesome. The way L proceeds to just walk straight into the dining room as if there was nothing strange about the situation made me laugh really hard, as did the way Mello later did exactly the same thing in the bathroom. Really, it’s totally dysfunctional, but I think it’s bloody hilarious. XD
Chapter 43: Well, rude as Mello was undoubtedly being, I was absolutely outraged over what Light said to him – after all, it was Light’s own actions that had made Mello so annoyed in the first place, and a large percentage of Light’s annoyance stemmed from his own defensiveness. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if that wasn’t such a sore spot for Mello, and if the problems weren’t due largely to Light’s own fuck-up, but seeing as that is the case I’m pretty pissed off on Mello’s behalf. I wasn’t expecting Light to apologise the way he did, though: that was quite unexpected, and more than unusual for him. I can’t decide whether Linda was being sweet or just foolish when she offered to talk with him and invited him to join Matt and herself – she does sometimes seem to have difficulty remembering about the whole Kira thing, which is a bit of a concern really, although it’s definitely kind of her. Gregory is still awesome, by the way. XD I’ll admit to being extremely curious over what exactly is going on with L, but the final scene with Mello and Light took my mind off that fairly effectively, because it was nothing short of breathtaking. It helps that I find the sound of a cello absolutely beautiful, but there was so much feeling in the way you wrote it as well, the way you linked the melody with Mello’s personality – it was utterly flawless. There was so much raw feeling in their interaction – so many confessions made, and even when they weren’t saying anything it was apparent in the way they touched each other – their need and their connection as well as their simple passion – just wow. I can’t find the words. It was so moving, and I really love the fact that you can pull off scenes like that – because you make it work, you set out the characters and their relationships and you explore them and you make them human so that it feels right to see the hidden sides to them – I’m making no sense again, but believe me when I say that I loved it.
Chapter 44: Uh, wow. Okay. I guess… I guess that explains L’s behaviour, then. It’s a pretty fucked-up situation, not that that’s anything new, but it does seem to tie up a number of loose ends. As personal goes, this would seem to be fairly near the limit, huh? It’s also a very dark story, which is both appropriate and adds a whole new layer of meaning to L and what he does – sure, he says it’s for enjoyment, and I don’t really doubt that a lot of it is, but knowing this I can’t help but question whether that’s the full extent of it. (Also, I’ll admit to being childishly excited by the links with Oxford, since I’ll be going there to study later this year. :D) As for L’s nightmare… damn it. Damn you both. I hate you. ;_; Not only am I scared shitless by B, I also have a bizarre, terrible phobia of being eaten alive. It’s like you’re deliberately trying to freak me out. Ughhhh. Then again, since it was that which provoked the ridiculously adorable hug that followed, I suppose I can think about forgiving you. Linda is so cute, god damn. It’s really refreshing to have her around: the way she gets all flustered over her own feelings – maybe even a little naïve, and certainly inexperienced – is such a contrast to the way that the guys tend to deal with such things. Not to mention that it is, as earlier mentioned, ridiculously adorable. I want to squish her. XD
Chapter 45: I loved the little bits of speculation over what a young L must have been like, largely because I’ve often thought about it myself. There is no doubt in my mind that he was a massive brat, and that he made life difficult for absolutely everyone. The descriptions of what B was like, though – now *there’s* a problem child. XD It all gets so much creepier when you consider everything that happened as a result of it, but frankly it’s terrifying no matter which way you slice it. I’m trying not to picture it too vividly in my head, but it’s pretty difficult, and even thinking about it objectively is enough to give me the shivers – particularly the longer description L gives of his mannerisms. Argh. D: The way Matt treated Linda when accusing her of having a crush was a little uncharacteristic for him – L’s influence indeed – but perhaps it was better to surprise her, since I find it unlikely that a gentler approach would have made her admit anything. Still though, Matt (and Mello too) were a bit much, especially towards the end when they were almost ganging up on her. But it’s still really cute how flustered she gets about it. Meanwhile, L and Light seem to have reached a new level of immaturity, haha. Their bickering over which one of them had won was just classic. XD I wish I could work out what’s happened to Light, though: one minute he seems fine, the next he’s fraying visibly. I had thought initially that their encounter with the cello would help make things clearer, but I suppose I was being optimistic. In any case, you’ve got me concerned all over again. Looking forward to reading the next chapters! :D
Chapter 43: Well, rude as Mello was undoubtedly being, I was absolutely outraged over what Light said to him – after all, it was Light’s own actions that had made Mello so annoyed in the first place, and a large percentage of Light’s annoyance stemmed from his own defensiveness. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if that wasn’t such a sore spot for Mello, and if the problems weren’t due largely to Light’s own fuck-up, but seeing as that is the case I’m pretty pissed off on Mello’s behalf. I wasn’t expecting Light to apologise the way he did, though: that was quite unexpected, and more than unusual for him. I can’t decide whether Linda was being sweet or just foolish when she offered to talk with him and invited him to join Matt and herself – she does sometimes seem to have difficulty remembering about the whole Kira thing, which is a bit of a concern really, although it’s definitely kind of her. Gregory is still awesome, by the way. XD I’ll admit to being extremely curious over what exactly is going on with L, but the final scene with Mello and Light took my mind off that fairly effectively, because it was nothing short of breathtaking. It helps that I find the sound of a cello absolutely beautiful, but there was so much feeling in the way you wrote it as well, the way you linked the melody with Mello’s personality – it was utterly flawless. There was so much raw feeling in their interaction – so many confessions made, and even when they weren’t saying anything it was apparent in the way they touched each other – their need and their connection as well as their simple passion – just wow. I can’t find the words. It was so moving, and I really love the fact that you can pull off scenes like that – because you make it work, you set out the characters and their relationships and you explore them and you make them human so that it feels right to see the hidden sides to them – I’m making no sense again, but believe me when I say that I loved it.
Chapter 44: Uh, wow. Okay. I guess… I guess that explains L’s behaviour, then. It’s a pretty fucked-up situation, not that that’s anything new, but it does seem to tie up a number of loose ends. As personal goes, this would seem to be fairly near the limit, huh? It’s also a very dark story, which is both appropriate and adds a whole new layer of meaning to L and what he does – sure, he says it’s for enjoyment, and I don’t really doubt that a lot of it is, but knowing this I can’t help but question whether that’s the full extent of it. (Also, I’ll admit to being childishly excited by the links with Oxford, since I’ll be going there to study later this year. :D) As for L’s nightmare… damn it. Damn you both. I hate you. ;_; Not only am I scared shitless by B, I also have a bizarre, terrible phobia of being eaten alive. It’s like you’re deliberately trying to freak me out. Ughhhh. Then again, since it was that which provoked the ridiculously adorable hug that followed, I suppose I can think about forgiving you. Linda is so cute, god damn. It’s really refreshing to have her around: the way she gets all flustered over her own feelings – maybe even a little naïve, and certainly inexperienced – is such a contrast to the way that the guys tend to deal with such things. Not to mention that it is, as earlier mentioned, ridiculously adorable. I want to squish her. XD
Chapter 45: I loved the little bits of speculation over what a young L must have been like, largely because I’ve often thought about it myself. There is no doubt in my mind that he was a massive brat, and that he made life difficult for absolutely everyone. The descriptions of what B was like, though – now *there’s* a problem child. XD It all gets so much creepier when you consider everything that happened as a result of it, but frankly it’s terrifying no matter which way you slice it. I’m trying not to picture it too vividly in my head, but it’s pretty difficult, and even thinking about it objectively is enough to give me the shivers – particularly the longer description L gives of his mannerisms. Argh. D: The way Matt treated Linda when accusing her of having a crush was a little uncharacteristic for him – L’s influence indeed – but perhaps it was better to surprise her, since I find it unlikely that a gentler approach would have made her admit anything. Still though, Matt (and Mello too) were a bit much, especially towards the end when they were almost ganging up on her. But it’s still really cute how flustered she gets about it. Meanwhile, L and Light seem to have reached a new level of immaturity, haha. Their bickering over which one of them had won was just classic. XD I wish I could work out what’s happened to Light, though: one minute he seems fine, the next he’s fraying visibly. I had thought initially that their encounter with the cello would help make things clearer, but I suppose I was being optimistic. In any case, you’ve got me concerned all over again. Looking forward to reading the next chapters! :D