rate_review Reviews

"Akane hoped it wouldn't ruin her appetite come dinner time."

Brilliant!

Masterful handling of the Hiroshi situation. In retrospect, my idea to actually have her consciously suggest more of her own cognizant volition would have been premature. Having her make the request under duress was much more sensible. Not to mention how she unconsciously instructed Hiroshi to be demanding of her. The way she asked him for it without actually asking was a nice touch.

The same for Ukyo as well. I was afraid that "revenge" meant death, jail, slavery, crippling, jusenkyo curse, etc.. The stuff you usually see in emotional rape fics. I guess I didn't give you enough credit to handle it the way you did. Sorry.

I'm not too disappointed about the librarian. As long as she got caught I'm happy. I just figured that since Kasumi was already aware of her growing amorousness, it would have been hilarious to spy on Akane and then file it away as a phase or something.

Pretty good chapter. I wonder if Happosai might have in mind to create a more literal heir to his school in addition to/instead of a spiritual one. A pregnant Ranma might also be stuck in girl form...
SailorNemesis

"This is soooo wrong!!"

I LOVED that.

You handled Ryoga's character splendidly. He was honest about both his hatred and his intent to undermine Ranma's romance with Akane even while having the capacity to comfort Ranma. He's open about being Ranma's enemy--or rival I guess--but he's still prepared do what he feels is right by Ranma. Usually, people just either write him as if he were mindlessly hateful or as if he were Ranma's best friend. But your depiction turned out well. An intervention by Happosai was definitely the best way to get a rape scene off the ground without belaboring the point of constructing a rationalized scenario that progressed Ryouga into a rapist mindset.

I'm mixed on how it seems you should handle a second encounter with Ryouga. I don't think he'd develop a taste for rape. It'd be too much of a jump in character. But it also wouldn't be interesting to read about how self-loathing he is over it. Assuming you want to involve him again in the future with Ranma, I think you should have Ranma find out it wasn't his fault either before or during the encounter. And since it sounds like Happosai's going to be training Ranma sexually as well as physically, knowing that Ryouga wasn't trying to take advantage of her might compel her to take out her sexual frustrations--that Happosai will have sewn--on Ryouga...not that he'd mind in the end.

Or, maybe, Ryouga's gonna see Akane again before Ranma. Ranma, after all, does have to spend a few weeks with Happosai first.

It would be absolutely awesome to have either Kasumi or Soun walk in on Akane while she's watching porn.

And I'm interested to see how you're going to handle Happosai's sex drive. Obviously, he's gonna use pressure points to sex Ranma up, but I wonder if he's going to have some kind of technique to make himself super endowed so it'll be all the harder for Ranma to fit his appendage down her throat.

Great chapter.

Most interesting bit of plotting. Ryouga retains his good guy status, and still gets to hit all the bases with Ranma-chan. Too bad for him that Ranma has no idea of that.

Well, the possibility of Kuno raping Girl-Ranma I arguably really should have seen coming, though Ukyo just snapping like that was somewhat unexpected. Kodachi I could see doing that one way or the other, most likely using a combination of paralysis and arousal drugs on him to make sure she got him without him getting away(thankfully, Rumiko never considered having her do that to him in canon!), but Ukyo?! Damn... This is going to lead to badness... And yet another horrid though springs into mind, what if Mikado Sanzenin comes into the picture and finds out?! Course, I kept hoping for him to learn Ranma's secrete and proceed to slice off his own lips in disgust, but, oh well. Until chapter 10, I suppose...

Wonderful. The part where she rolled out the red carpet for an ass-reaming painted an effectively erotic picture.

Feels good to know I was right about Hikaru's manipulation of Akane's perceptions on being a slut. Although, I'm not sure if his getting her to open up to him is a form of reverse psychology or gaining a monopoly. Is he really trying to inhibit Akane's desire to have sex often and anonymously so he can have her to himself or is his advice a trojan horse that only draws her deeper down that path? Or does his initial advice clash with his eventual intent; is his treatment going to allow her the restraint she desires only until he snatches Akane's hope away by denying her the punishment she thinks she needs (craves)?

I'd personally prefer that she ends up a wanton animal who doesn't discriminate between male appendages. But any scenario would be good I suppose.

On a side note: So Akane's grades are suffering aye? Might I suggest that, after failing an important test, she pays a special visit to one of her teachers? She could go to him with the pretense of offering a sexual favor or he could suggest it to her--at this point, either makes sense. I think a good middle ground however, would be him rejecting her request for a make-up test to which she responds with a sexual proposition. That makes for a good "whore" aspect.

And I thought it would have been better with Ukyo raping Akane so as to establish a pecking order or hidden feelings of sapphism. But since you've decided to go the "psycho bitch" angle, that works far better--especially with Ranma. Please don't have Ranma get some kind of revenge on her. It really serves the atmosphere to give her Psycho-bitchiness an efficacy that Ranma's unable to overcome.

As for Ryoga, I'm really curious at this point how you'll choose to use him. Will he follow the trend of corruption and/or betrayal and take advantage of Ranma's situation? Or will he be a true friend that Ranma opens up to, but still somehow ends up with Ranma stuck on his cock?

Excellent chapter. I'm glad your brief hiatus was so brief.

Well, more characters have appeared. I will start off by saying that I continue to like the Akane segments. They have certainly remained fresh for me. The introduction of Ranma and others has gone ok. Just be careful that you do not earn yourself the dread story code of OOC (out of character). I think you are treading a thin line with this one, especially with Ukyo. I understand that you are emphasizing the dark side of obsession...That being said, I mostly liked it. She was a bit foolish for leaving Ranma free to just run off. Good luck and keep writing.
SailorNemesis
feel free to write me if you ever wish to

hotaru@optonline.net

Oh, concerning yuri. I personally love it, but if you don't that's cool. Just please for the love of all that's holy, NO YAOI!
If you delve into that, please give a clear warning at the chapter start.
SailorNemesis

Well, you certainly didn't waste any time. In coming back to the story after your break, or in getting Ranma-chan nailed. I found the Kuno section disturbing as hell in some ways. If you remove the fantasy elements, such as Ranma's gender switch, and the bondage, which I'm all for actually, it strikes way too close to home in a real world sort of way. They say that the majority of rape victims know their attacker, and that certainly applies to both Kuno and Ukyou. But it was the Kuno one that seemed very realistic. I'm sure a whole lot of date rape victims have faced someone with a mind set a lot like Kuno. So desperate for what he wants that he fools himself into thinking that she really wants it as well.

Ukyou's action was a whole lot more of a blow to Ranma than Kuno's I think. Not only did he trust her, unlike Kuno, but the assault was against his male side. He can always make excuses for what happened to his girl side as not being real, as it's not his natural form. No way to run away and hide from what Ukyou did.

Now Ukyou is not the fool Kuno is. I'm sure you've got it all planned out, but I can really see her feeling a lot of guilt once she'd had time to think. As for Ranma, his vow of vengence was very in keeping with the situation, but he's not the sort to keep his rage burning long term. Given a chance I'm sure he'd do terrible things to Ukyou in the short term. In the long term I have to wonder if he'll follow the path of a lot of real life victims and start to wonder if he had been at fault for what happened. For leading her on and not making a clean break with her.

Quite an amazing story, well developed the transformation of Akane, I can imagine she will end being quite a submissive nympho before Ranma arrives. Akane just need to learn to "love" a woman, maybe a friend who discover her afliction and is secretly want her because Akane had all the boys? after all is the only thing left to her to learn, acept and enjoy.

Wonder what story are you going to write about Ranma? can imagine what will happen to him really. And what of the rest of the Nerima crew?

Cant wait to read more soon.

JO