schedule
August 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
---Still waiting on that next chapter. What's up?
schedule
August 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
---Be patient Pariah. The author has control over how fast the updates come, and real life controls the author. The only thing we can do is make sure that the author knows that we are waiting on the next chapter.
schedule
August 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Are you trying to tell us that real life takes precedent over Akane and Ranma getting raped!!??
HOW DARE YOU!
HOW DARE YOU!
schedule
August 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
---I found interest in this fic a while back. Not sure why, but I did. You kept a pretty decent update rate then. Now, you haven't written anything in a while. Is everything OK?
schedule
July 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Uh oh. Fujimori's on the case! What could this mean? Is this a revelation that Akane's behavior is related to blackmail or just more evidence to him that she's a total wanton slut? Either way, he's involving principal Kuno, and who knows what could come of that.....Seriously, I have no idea where you're going with it, but it should be interesting.
I imagine Ucchan's is going to be the backdrop for that sapphic rape scene you hinted at. Akane and Ranma get careless one day and are too busy in the midst of coitus to notice that a surprised and very angry Ukyou has walked through the door. Neither one would really be in any shape to fight her off...Well Ranma would I suppose, but he could have a set of circumstances that make him a little too slow in his pursuit of incapacitating her.
And wow, I didn't expect Ryouga to be back so soon...But I guess a fairly long time has passed from the characters' perspective. Please PLEASE let him get ahold of Ranma again--even if it's not in front of Akane like I had previously hoped. Now that Ryouga isn't so confused about his state, his approach is probably going to be different now that he thinks of her in the superlatively feminine context. With all the other girls, Haido would probably just be concerned with his own pleasure, but with Ranma being the fascinating sexual oddity that he can't get his mind off of, he's sure to be absolutely obsessed with making her go insane with pleasure. And the fact that there's a degree of emotional reciprocity between the two is probably going to make her just a BIT more receptive than usual. As you pointed out in the previous installments, she could easily admit to herself that her experiences with Ryouga were preferable to Michio and friends. And incidentally, Ryougs finding out that someone other than had been partaking of her feminine delights would probably drive him into a jealous, territorial rampage--which would be fairly interesting to see.
Anyway, the pack is within their reach now, but I imagine Ryouga's not gonna be any help in pointing out its location to them. Hell, Haido just might use Ranma's motivation to get ahold of it as a point of leverage--assuming your aren't going to let Ryouga subdue Ranma with raw physical strength.
On an entirely different matter: I'm remiss to say in this case that it hurts the story (because you haven't really done anything with it yet), but in Ranma 1/2 fanfiction, I tend to notice that despite very good writing, any attempts to disrupt the status quo of the characters with regards to abilities and/or goals comes across as a tad self-indulgent. When a writer feels the desire to adapt these very impractical character(s) by bringing up very down to earth ideas, it almost always comes off as forced. Case in point: Ranma's pursuit of college and training Akane.
The former is easily ignorable since you're probably not gonna cover Ranma buckling down to become a bread-winner or something; you're insuring that he's far too busy with....Other things. But the conversation between them about Akane's abilities sent up warning flags for me. Ranma's analysis of Akane's abilities felt eerily similar to a lot of the other "Ranma and/or Akane decide to mature" stories where emotionally imbalance, fairly immature teens start acting like adults and train regularly to become more functional martial artists. This essentially removes all the flaws, quirks, and foibles that make these characters worth reading about and turns them into Mary Sues--this isn't to say that you're writing is even remotely Mary Sue, but it happens to the best of us sometimes without us even noticing (especially me).
In this particular case, I would suggest that you do not play up the idea of Akane's training actually going anywhere. Making her a formidable fighter would remove her particular character quirk as Ranma's damsel in distress. Even in the series when she trained intensively a couple times, her overall abilities as a fighter never actually changed. Takahashi knew that this would have diminished her role. Before considering the idea of increasing her clout in Nerima's community of martial artists, keep this in mind.
By far, the most notable and well written scene in this segment was Akane's dalliance with Hiroshi in front of the window. Having her subconsciously try and expose herself was brilliant. That part just did me in.
I look forward to whatever verbal humiliation you have cooked up for Akane and Ranma in the next chapter. I'm also still curious about how Daisuke's gonna turn out. While I'm sure Hiroshi's gonna be put off by the fact that he's been using damaged goods this whole time, he seems to conscientious to join Michio whole-heartedly, but Daisuke's still a wild card.
Good chapter.
I imagine Ucchan's is going to be the backdrop for that sapphic rape scene you hinted at. Akane and Ranma get careless one day and are too busy in the midst of coitus to notice that a surprised and very angry Ukyou has walked through the door. Neither one would really be in any shape to fight her off...Well Ranma would I suppose, but he could have a set of circumstances that make him a little too slow in his pursuit of incapacitating her.
And wow, I didn't expect Ryouga to be back so soon...But I guess a fairly long time has passed from the characters' perspective. Please PLEASE let him get ahold of Ranma again--even if it's not in front of Akane like I had previously hoped. Now that Ryouga isn't so confused about his state, his approach is probably going to be different now that he thinks of her in the superlatively feminine context. With all the other girls, Haido would probably just be concerned with his own pleasure, but with Ranma being the fascinating sexual oddity that he can't get his mind off of, he's sure to be absolutely obsessed with making her go insane with pleasure. And the fact that there's a degree of emotional reciprocity between the two is probably going to make her just a BIT more receptive than usual. As you pointed out in the previous installments, she could easily admit to herself that her experiences with Ryouga were preferable to Michio and friends. And incidentally, Ryougs finding out that someone other than had been partaking of her feminine delights would probably drive him into a jealous, territorial rampage--which would be fairly interesting to see.
Anyway, the pack is within their reach now, but I imagine Ryouga's not gonna be any help in pointing out its location to them. Hell, Haido just might use Ranma's motivation to get ahold of it as a point of leverage--assuming your aren't going to let Ryouga subdue Ranma with raw physical strength.
On an entirely different matter: I'm remiss to say in this case that it hurts the story (because you haven't really done anything with it yet), but in Ranma 1/2 fanfiction, I tend to notice that despite very good writing, any attempts to disrupt the status quo of the characters with regards to abilities and/or goals comes across as a tad self-indulgent. When a writer feels the desire to adapt these very impractical character(s) by bringing up very down to earth ideas, it almost always comes off as forced. Case in point: Ranma's pursuit of college and training Akane.
The former is easily ignorable since you're probably not gonna cover Ranma buckling down to become a bread-winner or something; you're insuring that he's far too busy with....Other things. But the conversation between them about Akane's abilities sent up warning flags for me. Ranma's analysis of Akane's abilities felt eerily similar to a lot of the other "Ranma and/or Akane decide to mature" stories where emotionally imbalance, fairly immature teens start acting like adults and train regularly to become more functional martial artists. This essentially removes all the flaws, quirks, and foibles that make these characters worth reading about and turns them into Mary Sues--this isn't to say that you're writing is even remotely Mary Sue, but it happens to the best of us sometimes without us even noticing (especially me).
In this particular case, I would suggest that you do not play up the idea of Akane's training actually going anywhere. Making her a formidable fighter would remove her particular character quirk as Ranma's damsel in distress. Even in the series when she trained intensively a couple times, her overall abilities as a fighter never actually changed. Takahashi knew that this would have diminished her role. Before considering the idea of increasing her clout in Nerima's community of martial artists, keep this in mind.
By far, the most notable and well written scene in this segment was Akane's dalliance with Hiroshi in front of the window. Having her subconsciously try and expose herself was brilliant. That part just did me in.
I look forward to whatever verbal humiliation you have cooked up for Akane and Ranma in the next chapter. I'm also still curious about how Daisuke's gonna turn out. While I'm sure Hiroshi's gonna be put off by the fact that he's been using damaged goods this whole time, he seems to conscientious to join Michio whole-heartedly, but Daisuke's still a wild card.
Good chapter.
schedule
July 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Another fun chapter with foreshadowing of future events. Hiroshi is turning out to be a natural, going to be interesting to see how he handles the truth.
Akane continues her shift to full and eager submissive. Even after he gets his strength back Ranma's going to have his hands full handling her needs.
More mushy romance with Ranma and Akane, a nice change of pace from the other. variation makes both more interesting.
Have a feeling that Ryouga is going to toss a wrench into a lot of plans.
And how long till Ukyou comes home and finds she's had squatters?
Akane continues her shift to full and eager submissive. Even after he gets his strength back Ranma's going to have his hands full handling her needs.
More mushy romance with Ranma and Akane, a nice change of pace from the other. variation makes both more interesting.
Have a feeling that Ryouga is going to toss a wrench into a lot of plans.
And how long till Ukyou comes home and finds she's had squatters?
schedule
July 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Okay, I'm not so sure about "Haido" being not in the room, but about damn time! Now the cure and beginning's of revenge! Okay, okay, I know, still have to destroy the incriminating evidence, but still, it is nigh! Okay, calming down now. Until glorious chapter 19. Laters.
schedule
July 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Much better job on the Ranma-chan scene in this chapter. As vivid of some of the best of Akane's scenes. With Daisuke added into the mix it looks like Ranma's not the only quick shot in the story now. I'm sure he'll improve once he's getting all the pussy he can handle.
I am curious as to how Hiroshi and Daisuke are going to react when they find out the truth. Don't know that they could be kept in the dark for very long, even if Mishio wanted them to be. Would certainly improve their standing with Ranma if they refused to have anything to do with it, and only agreed after being blackmailed with what would happen to the girls if they don't go along with it.
I am curious as to how Hiroshi and Daisuke are going to react when they find out the truth. Don't know that they could be kept in the dark for very long, even if Mishio wanted them to be. Would certainly improve their standing with Ranma if they refused to have anything to do with it, and only agreed after being blackmailed with what would happen to the girls if they don't go along with it.
schedule
July 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This installment was riddled with gold!
“Walking down the street after leaving, Akane wondered if she could find a way to give Daisuke some extra training. If she had to screw him, then the least he could do was learn to last long enough to satisfy her.”
“She told herself firmly that she was not insulted.”
“Her ass was moving up and down slightly as she tensed the muscles in her legs, pulling against the ropes. The motion was totally beyond her control. "This ... this isn't ... what I ... had in ... in mind ... Could you ..."”
"Too bad. I mean, uh, good."
I especially liked the last one since Akane intuited what she felt would be a good reason for asking Ranma such a thing. i.e. She actually thought there would be a good reason to ask in the first place. It made her sound like a gossipy girlfriend asking Ranma for an appraisal of a mutual lover. Was Hikaru's order to Akane foreshadowing perhaps? ;)
The only critique I have is that Ranma had no response (visual or verbal) to Akane's comment. Other than that, this chapter was perfect.
“Walking down the street after leaving, Akane wondered if she could find a way to give Daisuke some extra training. If she had to screw him, then the least he could do was learn to last long enough to satisfy her.”
“She told herself firmly that she was not insulted.”
“Her ass was moving up and down slightly as she tensed the muscles in her legs, pulling against the ropes. The motion was totally beyond her control. "This ... this isn't ... what I ... had in ... in mind ... Could you ..."”
"Too bad. I mean, uh, good."
I especially liked the last one since Akane intuited what she felt would be a good reason for asking Ranma such a thing. i.e. She actually thought there would be a good reason to ask in the first place. It made her sound like a gossipy girlfriend asking Ranma for an appraisal of a mutual lover. Was Hikaru's order to Akane foreshadowing perhaps? ;)
The only critique I have is that Ranma had no response (visual or verbal) to Akane's comment. Other than that, this chapter was perfect.
schedule
July 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
>>To Scorpinac. Hitting the "revert libido" points would just revert the libido to normal, which would do nothing if it was already normal.
Darn. Oh, well. Though another thought occurs of something Ranma could do in the "getting back at them" department - smack their libido points so as to raise them about tenfold or so, and then leave. Hey, considering what it did to his guy side... Until chapter 17, I guess. Laters.
Darn. Oh, well. Though another thought occurs of something Ranma could do in the "getting back at them" department - smack their libido points so as to raise them about tenfold or so, and then leave. Hey, considering what it did to his guy side... Until chapter 17, I guess. Laters.