rate_review Reviews

I wish you would continue this. It's intriguing and I love the plot so much...sigh, it's always the good ones that are never finished...

update soon :3

I came to check for updates and found two lovely chapters waiting to be read :3
I really like how the story gets more and more intricate with each chapter, and I'm happy to hear you've gotten your inspiration back.
(something tells me the story is going to get even better from here ;D)

Hi! I wasn't even looking for a DN fic but yours caught my eye. I'm loving the new twist that you've come up with, and really can't wait until I read more.

There was one thing that I wanted to point out to you, it caused me to re-read your opening lines a few times. Essentially you're using the wrong hear/here and I was trying to picture what Raito was doing. At first I thought he might be saying 'hear' like 'listen to what I've saying' but eventually I realized that he was supposed to say 'Here.' like 'take this object away from me!'

It's all the English language's fault. All the homonym's. I used to always mix up waste and waist(I'm sure my old stories still testify to this).

That was the only thing that stuck out, any other's my brain kinda reads over(like too instead of to).

So amazing start! I really hope you write more and more and more!!!

I LOVE IT!!!

It's a lot of goodness rolled up into one story XD
I love how you've put more dialouge into the story now, it get's us so much closer to the characters and your take on their personality.
good job ^-^

(I hope someone else will review on your story too, you deserve more of other people's opinion than just my useless ones XD)

I tried reviewing just now, but the page wouldn't load :/
oh well, second try XD

what I said was basically "short chapter=you tease". in every positive way XD
I'd personally like to see the story fleshed out a bit more, maybe with some more character interaction or inner monologue, but i still liked the update so all is well in fandom land :3 I also noticed a spelling error towards the end of the chapter; "whipped" should be "wiped".

I hope you get your inspiration back and don't give up on this story. You've laid down a great base for a wonderfull story.(and a new take on a normally very cliché-filled death note pairing). let me know if there's anything I can do to help^-^

Such an interesting start!
What you've written so far shows great potential, the only negative part was that the chapter was too short XD
I'm hoping you have more chapters lined up to satisfy my curiousity ^-^