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for Tresspasser

by Omalley99

schedule September 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Pretty good heres a story and piic for you to enjoy

http://doomedfool.deviantart.com/art/Black-Lily-Sharpedo-133655961

http://rosvo.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=216#/d27lmzx
person chm01
schedule November 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
not bad, but you need to separate the pharagraphs and the conversations.
person Anon
schedule November 18, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Wall of text much? :P

Use the Enter/Return key twice at the end of every paragraph (or once on Vista). Or you could make the width of the paragraphs less and use Tab at the beginning of each paragraph, but that is too much work ;)

But other than that it was an alright chapter (1). :)

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