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January 9, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Interesting. I really like what you're going for here and the concept of Lucy sacrificing herself as well as the stellar spirit magic as you describe it is quite in keeping with the manga (except for Erza becoming Loki's next master, but- hey! Someone had to, no?) The downsides are a) her decision feels quite sudden since much of the manga revolves around them talking everyone out of such sacrifices and there isn't enough build up of the scenes to warrant her decision. One suggestion would be to have Loki work harder (as more scenes of fighting go on around them- with descriptions, please) not to lose her since he still carries so much guilt over letting his former master go to her doom. B) I have a feeling Natsu's going to live an extraordinarily long time and I can't imagine him having a peaceful end, like dying next to her grave. A more fitting end would be for Gray to carry him back after some adventure when they're both guild masters or really high level wizards. Just saying. Otherwise, I like what you're going for and Igneel's majesty as you portray him.