schedule
February 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Things look interesting so far and i wonder how will things go from here.
I think you should give Keitaro more will power and more back bone he maybe a bit clumdy but the one was good was his will and determination to see things to the very end so it would be nice to see him be a little more then pile of Clays in some ones hands... Make him little more harder to Shaping or even imposseble in some situation.
He is a manager now so he should have some more power in the "house".
The story so far looks good and interesting, if possible try to ad few twist in it that would make story have plot development that goes a bit deeper it could make chapters even more interesting.
In any cease good luck with future updates and best wishes from ZeoUnit
I think you should give Keitaro more will power and more back bone he maybe a bit clumdy but the one was good was his will and determination to see things to the very end so it would be nice to see him be a little more then pile of Clays in some ones hands... Make him little more harder to Shaping or even imposseble in some situation.
He is a manager now so he should have some more power in the "house".
The story so far looks good and interesting, if possible try to ad few twist in it that would make story have plot development that goes a bit deeper it could make chapters even more interesting.
In any cease good luck with future updates and best wishes from ZeoUnit
schedule
February 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
hope of a new chapter soon. i must see what you have changed first in this chapter. but let you nall the time you need to make it as good as possible.
schedule
June 29, 2011 at 12:00 AM
its a really good story. i hope you continue on this story also on king of molmol. btw i know what he can become from the girls on hinata sou blowjobs or analsex but not vaginal they must by virgins when granny hina came back and make the checkup on the girls.
five stars for this and king of molmol
sacrificial lamb 82
five stars for this and king of molmol
sacrificial lamb 82
schedule
June 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hey Saiga,
I have to admit that I don't often see good quality stories like this. While granted I do read erotic fictions because of the sex there is always a dimension beyond that which very few writers bother about. Specifically that is characterisation, if there is one thing I really love about this story is how in depths you are making the characters and actually giving them a personality, giving us a intimate knowledge of them which makes the sex scenes that much more interesting (not just on a lust level but on a human level).
Honestly before I found this story I would have to say the only story worth its salt in the love hina section was "Weapon of Mass Destruction". Even comparing this to other stories that I have read and liked on this site it is easily within the top ten. And that is only with one chapter (albeit a very long chapter but to me that just added to the quality). Though for future references it might be better to break it up more. So that A) you are posting more often and B) you don't have readers getting impatient and skipping sections of the story. I don't mean those short pathetic excuses of stories that are only 400 words long per chapter but I would say if you broke up the chapter into half for example you could of had chapter 2 when haku took kei up to meet the residences.
I think if you continue on this road this will easily be one of the best erotica stories on the net. Remember the only reason why it is in my top ten is because you have only really explored the relationship between haku/kitsue/Kei. You have given hints and a few foreshadows of the other characters, which added another dimension to the story. What will be interesting to see is how you manage the relationship as Kei progresses particularly Kei/Haku/Sara. I know a lot of stories that have been a huge let down because the author only focuses on one girl at a time and thus completely shoves the other characters into a black hole until he/she needs them. I do not think you are that type of author but I have been wrong before.
Anyways extremely well done. easily 5 stars.
I have to admit that I don't often see good quality stories like this. While granted I do read erotic fictions because of the sex there is always a dimension beyond that which very few writers bother about. Specifically that is characterisation, if there is one thing I really love about this story is how in depths you are making the characters and actually giving them a personality, giving us a intimate knowledge of them which makes the sex scenes that much more interesting (not just on a lust level but on a human level).
Honestly before I found this story I would have to say the only story worth its salt in the love hina section was "Weapon of Mass Destruction". Even comparing this to other stories that I have read and liked on this site it is easily within the top ten. And that is only with one chapter (albeit a very long chapter but to me that just added to the quality). Though for future references it might be better to break it up more. So that A) you are posting more often and B) you don't have readers getting impatient and skipping sections of the story. I don't mean those short pathetic excuses of stories that are only 400 words long per chapter but I would say if you broke up the chapter into half for example you could of had chapter 2 when haku took kei up to meet the residences.
I think if you continue on this road this will easily be one of the best erotica stories on the net. Remember the only reason why it is in my top ten is because you have only really explored the relationship between haku/kitsue/Kei. You have given hints and a few foreshadows of the other characters, which added another dimension to the story. What will be interesting to see is how you manage the relationship as Kei progresses particularly Kei/Haku/Sara. I know a lot of stories that have been a huge let down because the author only focuses on one girl at a time and thus completely shoves the other characters into a black hole until he/she needs them. I do not think you are that type of author but I have been wrong before.
Anyways extremely well done. easily 5 stars.
schedule
April 29, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Awesome story and I can't wait to read more.
schedule
April 18, 2011 at 12:00 AM
The anime was insulting to the series. This story was awesome. Kudos to the author.
schedule
March 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
wooooow, now you have an awesome fic starting out, dontcha? well, it might stand up to king of molmol, but that's awesome!!!!!!!
can't wait for the next chapters, saiga!!! FIGHT!!!!!!!!
can't wait for the next chapters, saiga!!! FIGHT!!!!!!!!
schedule
March 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Keep it up.
schedule
March 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This one is very odd, The women are Nymphoes but I thought they were not to lose their virginities, so why are the maids at Haruka's shop having sex with patrons, those are basically overglorified prostitutes, and way out of your way of writing and that is said.
schedule
March 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I actually wish you would destroy this story since it is so insulting to the series, also it is horrible how you portay everthing, I rather you work on the others instead.