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August 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I liked the way that this was written, it was very readable and flowed so well. I'm sure that you're disgruntled about the lack of reviews, so I decided to slap one up on here. There are a couple of issues, though. First of all nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. It was just a guy sitting around for maybe ten minutes with another guy, having a casual conversation.
Why is this on AFF? There is nothing in it all all that would deem it "adult" in any way. Maybe PG tops for the mention of firearms and a slight hint at sexual tension. The people on this site are clearly looking for porn, or violence, or unsavory themes, or else they would be on fanfiction.net. It isn't that this is bad, it just doesn't feel like it belongs here. I'm curious to see what you could come up with that has an actual plot, but this... Like I said, it just doesn't have a reason to be here.
Why is this on AFF? There is nothing in it all all that would deem it "adult" in any way. Maybe PG tops for the mention of firearms and a slight hint at sexual tension. The people on this site are clearly looking for porn, or violence, or unsavory themes, or else they would be on fanfiction.net. It isn't that this is bad, it just doesn't feel like it belongs here. I'm curious to see what you could come up with that has an actual plot, but this... Like I said, it just doesn't have a reason to be here.