schedule
February 3, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Very nice. Liked this chapter a lot. Just wondering thou... when will the next chapter(s) for the King of Molmol come out? Thanks!
schedule
January 24, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Well to be honest at first when I seen the title and description it didn't appeal to me to read it that much. I just recently while looking for something to read stumble on it and I started to read it.
The story it self is nicely made so far, maybe a bit a bit fast phase to rush in the plot that could have more character information and background on your original Characters like Eukanaria. we dont know much about her as of now but I have to admit so far she look interesting enough and at least personally would like to see her "other side of the coin" with more character development in the flow of the story, she has a lot of potential that could be show besides her current form and apparently her "sister complex" to be "better" then her.
The part of the story where you show how Eukanaria is operating to find out desires of others was perfectly executed and it show as a bit of her personally and her reaction to others. If I needed to pick one that I like the most that would be Kitsune part at end with Eukanaria reaction when she was leaving the room suggesting that Eukanaria maybe is not that mature at least in some aspects as we are lead to believe, that was pure gold.
The part with Keitaro becoming hers was ok a bit rush out but still nice. I also like how you put small plot twist with him able to technically disobey her if the current standing order is in conflict with some of his point of view of things and that opens a lot of doors to many paths for story to unfold, nicely done. You could make it so that when Keitaro is disobeying/arguing with Eukanaria he actually use her name not her "title", it would add more layers on concept that he can disobey her if he wish it. You also shown that he has a bit dark side to it also with Shinobu part of the story but we shall see.
The "adult" part of the story is really good, constantly different and with a lot of imagination I give you that so keep up the good work.
The story as a whole seems good with a lot of stuff to be expected and plots to be seen. we still didn't seen Eukanaria sister showing up not to mention Motoko's big sister that by all account based on what was shown in story could make thing messy for our little Eukanaria plans because should could probably see her unlike motoko.
The part you might want to focus a bit more is the party that Keitaro can actually oppose Eukanaria and why dose his mark starts to in a seance to fade in that situations.
Maybe some forgotten secrets or stuff that should not have been stern to awaken. Its just simple suggestion nothing more.
The story look good and could be pretty long one if the author could add more complex layers to current plot and Evolve it original charaters. The chapters could be longer, it gives more polish and professional feel to it when you need to take time to read something, again personal opinion only.
in any cease Best wishes and good writing from ZeoUnit
The story it self is nicely made so far, maybe a bit a bit fast phase to rush in the plot that could have more character information and background on your original Characters like Eukanaria. we dont know much about her as of now but I have to admit so far she look interesting enough and at least personally would like to see her "other side of the coin" with more character development in the flow of the story, she has a lot of potential that could be show besides her current form and apparently her "sister complex" to be "better" then her.
The part of the story where you show how Eukanaria is operating to find out desires of others was perfectly executed and it show as a bit of her personally and her reaction to others. If I needed to pick one that I like the most that would be Kitsune part at end with Eukanaria reaction when she was leaving the room suggesting that Eukanaria maybe is not that mature at least in some aspects as we are lead to believe, that was pure gold.
The part with Keitaro becoming hers was ok a bit rush out but still nice. I also like how you put small plot twist with him able to technically disobey her if the current standing order is in conflict with some of his point of view of things and that opens a lot of doors to many paths for story to unfold, nicely done. You could make it so that when Keitaro is disobeying/arguing with Eukanaria he actually use her name not her "title", it would add more layers on concept that he can disobey her if he wish it. You also shown that he has a bit dark side to it also with Shinobu part of the story but we shall see.
The "adult" part of the story is really good, constantly different and with a lot of imagination I give you that so keep up the good work.
The story as a whole seems good with a lot of stuff to be expected and plots to be seen. we still didn't seen Eukanaria sister showing up not to mention Motoko's big sister that by all account based on what was shown in story could make thing messy for our little Eukanaria plans because should could probably see her unlike motoko.
The part you might want to focus a bit more is the party that Keitaro can actually oppose Eukanaria and why dose his mark starts to in a seance to fade in that situations.
Maybe some forgotten secrets or stuff that should not have been stern to awaken. Its just simple suggestion nothing more.
The story look good and could be pretty long one if the author could add more complex layers to current plot and Evolve it original charaters. The chapters could be longer, it gives more polish and professional feel to it when you need to take time to read something, again personal opinion only.
in any cease Best wishes and good writing from ZeoUnit
schedule
January 23, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Love the story do you post anywhere else because I love the stories you write but this site does not have a good email alert when stories are updated.
schedule
January 2, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Awsome. Can't wait for the next chapter.
schedule
January 2, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Great story. Can't wait for the next chapter.
BTW do you plan Su to become a new slave vevor or after he visit his aunt.
BTW do you plan Su to become a new slave vevor or after he visit his aunt.
schedule
December 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Like the dirtiness of this work. More please!!!!!
schedule
December 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Speaking honestly, I was enjoying this story very much till the idea of Eukanaria whoring the girls out came up. It just ruins the relationship the characters have to me. Could you at least make it so that Eukanaria ensures the girls can't get pregnant or NTR'd by other guys?
Otherwise, fun and enjoyable story.
Otherwise, fun and enjoyable story.
schedule
December 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
You just LOVE corrupting Shinobu past the point of no return, don't you?
schedule
October 29, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Good god man! Where in the blazes is the next chapter?! Any who, I like the submissive take on Keitaro. You have made all us authors proud. Keep up the good work.
schedule
October 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Please update
hamwi2000@hotmail.com
hamwi2000@hotmail.com