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July 2, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hot, though I have doubts about Keitaro selling out ANY of the girls.
Either way, I hope Sarah finds her into the mix.
Either way, I hope Sarah finds her into the mix.
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June 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hmm...interesting turn of events, is all I can say in a nutshell. The latest chapter does suffice as an impromptu ending of sorts, as well setting the stage for a 2nd season. However, there are quite a number of loose ends. Smut and plot aren't mutually exclusive. :P
I am not sure what exactly the Keitaro / Shinobu pairing brings to the party. Will we be seeing a sub-plot where the relationship between the both of them develop further?
I am also interested to see where the other girls factor into this. They aren't bound into a contract like Keitaro. What I think you can consider doing for your next chapter (if there is one) is to establish their hierarchy when they wake up, and describe a typical day at the inn. IE: The succubus will assuredly be at the top of the pecking order. Where do the girls and Keitaro rank after her? Is Keitaro a slave to the other girls as well, the other way round, or a free-for-all when they are not tending to Eucatarina?
Your writing is undoubtably very good. Don't take this the wrong way, but I think there comes a point when a reader skims through everything and goes..."Um, yeah, so? What's your point? Where is this story leading?" It's the same issue I have with "King of Molmol". Chapter after chapter of plotless sex with OOC girls who don't appear in the original cast at all. I can take your story, replace the lead character with any other name, and it wouldn't have lost anything.
Just my 2 cents. Hope I haven't offended you.
I am not sure what exactly the Keitaro / Shinobu pairing brings to the party. Will we be seeing a sub-plot where the relationship between the both of them develop further?
I am also interested to see where the other girls factor into this. They aren't bound into a contract like Keitaro. What I think you can consider doing for your next chapter (if there is one) is to establish their hierarchy when they wake up, and describe a typical day at the inn. IE: The succubus will assuredly be at the top of the pecking order. Where do the girls and Keitaro rank after her? Is Keitaro a slave to the other girls as well, the other way round, or a free-for-all when they are not tending to Eucatarina?
Your writing is undoubtably very good. Don't take this the wrong way, but I think there comes a point when a reader skims through everything and goes..."Um, yeah, so? What's your point? Where is this story leading?" It's the same issue I have with "King of Molmol". Chapter after chapter of plotless sex with OOC girls who don't appear in the original cast at all. I can take your story, replace the lead character with any other name, and it wouldn't have lost anything.
Just my 2 cents. Hope I haven't offended you.
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June 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Sorry but this honestly just feels too quick. Keitaro goes from his first time having sex to "I'll be your slave"?
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May 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Can you please update chapter 9 as soon as you can. Please. I would love to see what happens next.
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May 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Great fic so far.
Lemons are great. Eukanaria is an entertaining character.
Girl's I want to see more of are Mitsumi, Mokoto, Shinobu, Tsuruko, and Kanako.
Keep up the good work!
Lemons are great. Eukanaria is an entertaining character.
Girl's I want to see more of are Mitsumi, Mokoto, Shinobu, Tsuruko, and Kanako.
Keep up the good work!
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May 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Do you do requests? my emails is verifiaman@yahoo.com
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April 21, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Please update this story, it is realy good, I actualy like it much better than any of your other stuff, though I would like to see an update to "A Drunken Beguining
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August 22, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Please for the love of god update, this is my favorate story on the entire site and I want to see what happens next. I wonder what will happen when the girls wake up in the morning how thier dreams will change how they act around Kietaro. Please update soon.
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August 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Please update this story, it is my favorate story on this site, and I have been waiting forever for you to update this.
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August 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This is a great story so far, you are one of the best love Hina authors on this site. I am looking forward to what this succubus does to the other girls in the Hinata inn, like Shinobu and Kitsune. Looking forward to more soon, both of this and your other stories, King of Molmol and Hentai Sou.