rate_review Reviews

Hey man, you're pretty good.
while you could do with a little practice in writing romance (your character doesn't know if he wants to be with someone after nearly coupling with them, he doesn't know she likes him after she kissed him), the rest of your story is actually quite good. I'm looking forward to an update from you soon and just thought I'd let you know I've read what you've written so far and it is somewhere near the top 25% of stuff I've read.

which is a lot of stuff, trust me.

also, a character giving a full on mouth-to-mouth kiss usually means they want a full-on relationship, so keep that in mind.
I think I've only seen one or two writers being able to properly write that and make it seem plausible or true that the one who received the kiss is truly clueless about the other character's intentions. it's stupidly hard to write properly and i wouldn't recommend it unless your character could pass it off as a dream if he received it while comatose or something. next time I'd recommend a kiss on the cheek. that's easy to write as romantic and/or friendly with no obvious intentions to the receiver of said kiss.
I don't know about others, but personally i find the journey of romance far better than the destination, but that's just me. others may think otherwise.

you do a pretty good job with the realism, what with the levels and attacks and all that.
The battles are pretty well-written, which is sometimes hard to pull off nicely. you do a good job of that.
besides your romance-relationshippy stuff, you're pretty high up there in terms of quality.
perhaps read some other romance 'fics if you want to improve on that? i wouldn't know. I don't write stuff.
i just yell at people through the internet in my spare time.

sorry about the wall of text.
and of course, "pls update now pls".
good work, keep it up.

Hmmm that's rather tragic
Great chapter
Most stories I read are either boring, too the point of being unreadable from the sheer amount of errors in them or are just plain confusing because they have major time jumps between chapters but this seems to have none of these terrible traits that come hand in hand with amateur writers

So Auren and tronitus was teleported to fullmoon island before the fight
And then tronitus was again as the attack hit I presume?
So will it be a few chapters before he finds out she is still alive or will Auren be teleported to her next chapter?

I shall stick around to find out

Dude, i love your story <3 plz keep writing, and if u ask me, your story is just as good or better than Sinners. :D

Ok, this story is beautiful. I friggin love it!! First off, dont say your writing is bad, because it isnt. Second, this story is easily better than Sinners to me. And lastly im super glad Auren's main pokemon is not a Gardevoir, because everytime you see one, it ends up ALWAYS as "hurr i luv u master hurr". I like the idea of your story, and its very well written, so PLEASE DONT EVER ABANDON THIS STORY!!!! Plz write till the end!

Another pretty good chapter, just a few things to watch out for. One is there were a few times that you repeated a phrase or words in too close proximity. Nothing horrendous but it always sticks out to me. Another is to be careful with your dialogue tags. There were a few times where who was talking didn't match up with who you tagged it with. It's nice to read something where the protagonist starts the journey out competent, just make sure you also find a reasonable way to give the story some tension. Honestly I'm not worried for Auren in the slightest. Maybe that's what you're going for though at the moment. I also thought the scene after Troy's death was very well written. I don't like giving full fledged reviews unsolicited so if you want more feel free to email me, but I don't sugar coat things.

The main reason for leaving this however was that I was reading through your profile and you didn't list any other way to contact you. I just wanted to let you know that Luca's Saga was finished, it just wasn't ever posted to this site.

So I finally found the time to actually read this, and I'm glad I did. Awesome start so far, I will definitely be keeping an eye out for updates. As for criticism, I honestly had to dig for things to say. You have a few grammatical mistakes and run ons here and there but nothing that ever pulled me out of the story. I also felt a few scenes were a little rushed, it usually was around big moments like Auren's confession to Tonitrus. But overall I still think it's a great story.

When you asked about what we wanted...
do what feels right to you if readers get bored of a story then they can't really say they were in to it completely and to hell with them
This is a great story it would have to be one of the best I've read
(though I've only just came here from fanfiction after I found out about this site)
But yeah... This is a great story keep up the good work

well i like the chapters longer but much longer than the last one gets monotanous or however you spell that word. the emotional stuff works well so far and im interested on how it will progress cany wait for the next chapy ^_^

i was reading chapter 3 when you posted 4 lol

its a good story so far, every once and awhile i enjoy a good long story with drama and fluff and yours fit nicely, not long enough yet :p keep up the good work

I HAVE to leave a review after reading the first chapter because... well, I'm an absentminded one and will forget easily! LOL Auren reminded me of several other characters wrapped up into one: my first thoughts were Rugal from King of Fighters mixed with Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist!

This is actually the first Pokemon fic I've read and it's really good. There are a few errors which I can't remember at this point but when I come back to finish reading, I will take note and let you know. Well... there weren't enough errors to make me cringe and stop reading; I'll let you know that!

I do hope that you keep up with this one because I will find the time to read this one!