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April 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
That was.....far darker than I would have thought possible. Great job. ^_^ I look forward to reading more. -WWMH-
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January 28, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed this chapter. It feels like your writing is picking up in intensity and filling out. This is the meat of it.
Keep up the progress,
Recal
Keep up the progress,
Recal
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January 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Most excellent. I enjoyed these last 2 chapters and look forward to more.
Betrayel or serious misunderstanding......i must know!
Betrayel or serious misunderstanding......i must know!
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January 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hey Twill, nice chapter here! I almost missed it!
I like the fact that things are finally starting to pick up for her. She is still a tortured lonely soul but at least now she can channel her vengeance.
I noticed one part where she was trying to intimidate him.
" She had been shorter than her, but he had to look up to meet those piercing eyes."
I think you got your pronouns jumbled up, and since it's at such a highly tense part of the reading I noticed it.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
I like the fact that things are finally starting to pick up for her. She is still a tortured lonely soul but at least now she can channel her vengeance.
I noticed one part where she was trying to intimidate him.
" She had been shorter than her, but he had to look up to meet those piercing eyes."
I think you got your pronouns jumbled up, and since it's at such a highly tense part of the reading I noticed it.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
schedule
January 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I'm really enjoying this story. I don't have much to really comment on your writing as i don't see many flaws in it at all.
you write really well, and you update fairly often. I read and enjoy all of your stories, but this one is certainly my favorite.
I just wanted to let you know i read your stories and i think they're all great.
Keep up the good work.
you write really well, and you update fairly often. I read and enjoy all of your stories, but this one is certainly my favorite.
I just wanted to let you know i read your stories and i think they're all great.
Keep up the good work.
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January 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Things are starting to get very interesting. Keep up the great writing. ^_^ -WWMH-
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December 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Yes! Good update, lots of progression in this one. She gets more angsty every day. It would be nice to see her channel that into her fighting or training somehow, but then again, she is a soft 'city' pokemon.
Could it be...father...son...? No, I must not spoil!
Happy New Year!
Could it be...father...son...? No, I must not spoil!
Happy New Year!
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November 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Quite an interesting read and Zoroark stories seem rare nowadays. I look forward to future updates.
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October 29, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This is a very different attitude. What's up with this attitude? It's very "tough" love at best, and downright manipulative at worst. Are there any thoughts you can give me without major spoilers?
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September 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ha-Ha! Here we go! I really like the new trainer! He seems like a cool/tough guy. Treeco is definitely an underrated pokemon, but thank goodness they're both nicer than the master. I wonder if Rel can learn to trust and love again~ Also, I love that she turned into a Zangoose. It's like a subconscious homage.
Question: At the end, the icy grasp on Rel, was that the chip that the master installed in her?
Last thing, //“So you can talk,” the human said finally, breaking the silence."// I read this first as "So you CAN talk," with the emphasis on "can" instead of "So." I recommend putting some kind of pause between 'so' and the rest of the sentence so that people like me can tell that he's just searching for idle conversation with his new monster pokemon that hates him, rather than being astonished at his talking pokemon. lol Anyway, thanks for the updates! Truck on!
Question: At the end, the icy grasp on Rel, was that the chip that the master installed in her?
Last thing, //“So you can talk,” the human said finally, breaking the silence."// I read this first as "So you CAN talk," with the emphasis on "can" instead of "So." I recommend putting some kind of pause between 'so' and the rest of the sentence so that people like me can tell that he's just searching for idle conversation with his new monster pokemon that hates him, rather than being astonished at his talking pokemon. lol Anyway, thanks for the updates! Truck on!