schedule
November 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Oh! This is much better than the first chapter, reading wise. Still the same hot awesomeness from the first chapter. Very great job on improving. Keep up the good work and looking forward to the next chapter, if you got more on the way.
schedule
November 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I'm satisfied greatly.
schedule
October 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Well this story is pretty hot and I like it so far. But I have some complaints. *Of course, reviews are rarely just 'OH MY GOD GREAT WORK!!!1!!!'. lol*
Anyways the way you write is very hard to read. You could do with spacing after different characters speak and also try not to make everything in a solid block of writing.
Though truthfully I have just gotten over a similar problem, walls of text in paragraph sized walls and not properly spacing after different characters speak. So maybe try fixing that if you can, or if you want to. But either way keep on writing, because this is good stuff. Good luck, and looking forward to the next chapter.
Anyways the way you write is very hard to read. You could do with spacing after different characters speak and also try not to make everything in a solid block of writing.
Though truthfully I have just gotten over a similar problem, walls of text in paragraph sized walls and not properly spacing after different characters speak. So maybe try fixing that if you can, or if you want to. But either way keep on writing, because this is good stuff. Good luck, and looking forward to the next chapter.