schedule
June 25, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I just want to say, I'm not very fond of the story, mainly because of the writing.
Some paragraphs are waaay too big, there are no commas used, you use no other end punctuation except for a period, and barely any apostrophes are used at all.
This just makes it hard to follow what you're trying to tell to the readers. And the fact that this is a Lucy x Zeref story, the first chapter wasn't even needed.
And you're describing some characters way too much, like Natsu and Happy for example. The readers obviously know what the two most important characters of Fairy Tail look like, so that was a whole two paragraphs wasted.
I'm not trying to be rude, but I just think you need to work a lot on your writing.
Some paragraphs are waaay too big, there are no commas used, you use no other end punctuation except for a period, and barely any apostrophes are used at all.
This just makes it hard to follow what you're trying to tell to the readers. And the fact that this is a Lucy x Zeref story, the first chapter wasn't even needed.
And you're describing some characters way too much, like Natsu and Happy for example. The readers obviously know what the two most important characters of Fairy Tail look like, so that was a whole two paragraphs wasted.
I'm not trying to be rude, but I just think you need to work a lot on your writing.